Saturday, April 30, 2005

are we here yet?

i shouldn't have opened my big mouth the other day. while my orthodontist was waxing ecstatic (grammar check!) about how well my teeth were moving around (i'm assuming he wasn't talking about the crown that fell out of my mouth when my wire was removed), i made a comment about how my teeth really hadn't been all that sore after adjustments. i think today, three days later, i might be able to bite down on something and chew normally. maybe.(bring on the tacos!)

i know, i know- i've been a bad girl.....but i have an excuse for not posting until now. thursday night, i was going to sit down and pound out a post (i got my start typing on typewriters, so i'm still a little aggressive with the keyboard), but i didn't finish packing until midnight, and since i was gettting up at 6:30 to be at work early, sleep won that battle. yesterday, i flat out didn't have time before we headed to the airport, and then by the time we were in and settled, it was 3 a.m. south carolina time. (since my body hasn't adjusted yet, i was wide awake at 5:30 local time- 8:30 back home.)

yep, i will be napping after i finish this.

the flights yesterday were pretty uneventful. we made it to the charlotte airport in about an hour. (i flew low, but so were 80% of the other cars on I-77.) the shuttle from satellite parking ($2.75 a day! that beats the crap out of the $6 ($8?) they charge daily in columbia) dropped us at the airport with 45 minutes before our flight. (yep, we were cutting it close, but we've cut it closer.) i am pleased to report that for once i wasn't a "special" traveler- which was great, since there was no time for the strip search, full unpacking of my carry on and suitcase, and anal probe. (of course, i'm kidding about that very last part- the probes won't be implemented until the next round of regulatory revampings.)

i'd packed a wide variety of cds for the trip, but the only one i listened to during our flight from charlotte to houston was "disc o-zone" by o-zone. it's not destined to be one of the classics, like the beatles' white album, or pink floyd's "the wall" or inxs' "kick", but it's not half bad, and since it's in english, i could still concentrate on the book i was reading- "over the edge: death in grand canyon". (might as well find out how other people have died before our little hike later in the week. note to self: no urinating over the edge of the canyon, no jumping from rock to rock for a dramatic "action shot" in the canyon, and taking only one container of water for a day hike would not be my most brilliant idea.))

i am pleased to report that continental airlines actually serves a snack on the plane- and it's more than 10 pretzels. we got little trays with "cream" crackers, parmesan peppercorn cheese spread, salami, trail mix, and a nut roll. the crakers were hard as a rock, and after two i just gave up on them and scraped the cheese spread onto my little plastic knife and went from there. the salami wasn't spectacular, but i could eat it without screaming, which was a definite plus. i haven't gotten into the trail mix yet (peanuts, raisins, and "yogurt chips"- i have no idea how to "chip" yogurt, since it's generally quite.....moist, but more power to 'em if they want to take the time to work out the logistics.), and i had to pass on the nut roll, which was basically a bunch of peanuts held together by hard caramel. i'm fairly certain my orthodontist would not have been thrilled about having to recement several brackets after that little experiment. plus, i'm not a hard caramel kind of girl, so i doubt i would have touched it anyway. still, it was nice to see an airline serving food without demanding $7 first.

our layover was in the houston international airport, which has been named after the legacy in the white house. (i'm not even going to get started on that one, as i have no intention to spark a comment war between myself and the republicans who read this.) however, the airport does have its good points- hanging on the wall of the swatch store! (nifty link to come when i'm on a slightly faster computer) as you can imagine, i jumped off the moving sidewalk and ran into the store. astoundingly, i was able to restrain myself and only bought two swatches- one's a loomi (it lights up) with fireflies, and the other is a swatch skin watch (really thin) with stripes of various shades of blue- and it was 40% off, which certainly didn't hurt. (pictures to come when i'm on a faster computer. i think i hear the hamster wheel turning in this one.) while i was there, i inquired as to how one replaces the buckle piece, as that's the part that has given way on most of my swatches. i was told (are you sitting down?) that if i brought my old swatches and the replacement pieces i bought a couple of years back, they'd fix them for me- for free! so, i suppose i have incentive to fly back through houston. (i suppose now all the flights involving houston will jump by at least $50 a ticket.)

and yes, i plan on picking up a couple more swatches on my return trip.

i swapped out my cds while waiting to board our phoenix-bound plane in houston. the last cd i packed was an oldie but goodie (that you've probably never heard of)- "god fodder" by ned's atomic dustbin, a band i was introduced to on the "so i married an axe murderer" soudtrack. i didn't get a chance to listen to it on the plane, because we got to watch a movie during our 2 1/2 hour flight. for our viewing pleasure, "finding neverland" was shown. i'd wanted to see it when it was in theaters (johnny depp crush that can be traced back to his days on 21 jump street), but never got around to it. so, i was quite pleased to find that my discman headphones fit into the little outlet and i wouldn't have to read lips. it was a pretty good movie. of course, the ending was predictable from the start, but i enjoyed it (and yes, i cried at the end).

we made it into phoenix around 9:30 local time, and had our bags around 10.(henry rollins has a great spoken word bit on airports and luggage. if i can chase down the title of the cd its on, i'll edit this and include it. otherwise, the curious among you may have to google it.)

today will be spent preparing for our kayaking trip. (do they sell stabilizers to reduce kayak flippage? i'm scared to death of winding up upside down, because apparently righting oneself requires the use of both arms, and i need one hand to hold my nose underwater, and unless i sprout an extra appendage like some sort of hindu diety, i'm going to have a problem here.)

on my shopping list:

~waterproof disposable cameras

~more gnomes (i'm not just an average dork- i'm a raging dork, my dear.)

~kayak stablizers (though calling them "kayak training wheels" inspires a more interesting mental picture)

~spare pair of cheap sunglasses (so i won't be caught short if my favorite pair takes a dip in the colorado)

assuming i don't drown in the colorado, i should have something new for your reading pleasure (or agony) tomorrow evening.

hope that was worth the wait. i'm heading back to bed.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

i'm naked!

duff naked

me naked!

now, now- don't get all excited. i haven't been prancing around the apartment in the buff with the shades up again- not lately, anyway. (remind me to tell you about the incident that inspired me to cease that particular practice.......)

i went to the orthodontist this afternoon. my teeth are now being pulled around my mouth by wires so strong that i'm pretty sure if i could figure out how to pop one out of my mouth, i could use it to tow a small truck. somewhere between rewiring my crown (otherwise i'd look pretty backwoods trailer trash-y) and trimming the wires, we sort of forgot to put on my colored bands. so, all you see are my clear brackets and metallic wires. this is no fun at all. it's like walking around without a swatch on- i feel boring and...naked.
ah well, i can get colors put on again in 8 weeks- sooner if something falls out or goes "sproing!".

in other news, i had a hard to refuse offer today. it's certainly far from carved in stone, but i'm currently pondering whether i could put my life on hold for 4 to 6 weeks to take advantage of a great opportunity. hmm.....maybe nothing will come of it, and then i won't be tempted in the slightest. otherwise, you can expect to see me in full-fledged freak out mode in a couple of weeks.

that's it for tonight. i should start packing, but i'm ready to drop. i'm looking forward to another early morning- have to beat the kids to school so i can finish setting up next week's projects. somehow i seem to work the hardest right before vacation.......

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

believe it or not, i'm walking on air....

no- i haven't given in to my new tennis shoe cravings....for some reason, the theme song to "the greatest american hero" has been running through my head for the past half hour- and i'm not sure why. i have yet to break the plastic on the dvd, and i've done nothing to inspire such a tune to pop into my head. first i listened to my depeche mode remixes set. then, i decided i wanted to hear len (the group that sang "steal my sunshine" 5 or so years ago)....but i didn't get to put the cd into my stereo before my computer froze up and refused to unlock itself. ah- nothing like a prepentium. (or maybe it's a pentium 1- i'm not sure, and really don't care, as long as it does what i need it to, at least 90% of the time.)

anyway, i had to switch computers to type in the first part of my avon order, and i'm too lazy to find the remote to turn on the living room setup. so, here i sit in silence, except for the three lines that keep repeating themselves in my head.

i have a couple more things to do to my blog, and then i'm done tinkering with it for a while. i need to set up links to a couple of other blogs i frequent (i'm such a voyeur!), and i'm still working on colors. perhaps i'll mess with it over vacation...or perhaps i'll be too busy exploring. (don't fret- i'll keep you updated every couple of days, if possible.)

i've got a busy day ahead. first, i'm going to attempt to go in to work early. (perhaps, for once, i'll actually get my butt pried out of bed early enough to pull it off!) i'm getting off work early so my orthodontist can tinker with my braces (blue bands off, green ones on, recement the hook-y bracket that keeps snagging on things and coming off, et cetera.), and then i have to drop off a couple of orders on the way to my mechanic's, where my chariot will have its oil changed, spark plugs replaced, and hopefully nothing else major. then, it's off to keith and rhonda's for dinner. after that, i head back home and finish my avon order.

oh- and i guess i should start packing at some point, too.

stuff i need to pack (part one):
~other various toiletries (everything you'd expect, except makeup. if val kilmer shows up at the front door while i'm on vacation, i'll make him wait an extra minute while i hunt through my host's cabinets looking for something i can slap on my face to make myself look presentable.)
~socks (i should probably wash some of those first.)
~water-friendly sandals
~trail running shoes (already at destination, along with hiking clothes)
~other running shoes (for once, i actually have a pair picked out in advance.)
~unmentionables (including those spiffy liquid bras- thank you, frederick's, for making me look like i need to bother with a foundation undergarment)
~jeans/shorts (with the recent demise of my khakis (being cut up as we speak so the material can be reused in art projects at school), as well as a couple of pairs of shorts, i seem to be running low on lower body coverings. maybe i should remedy the situation whiole i have my credit card out anyway.)
~shirts (a thousand times over, check.)
~digital camera (for pictures i can easily post)
~fancy pentax camera (for pictures i want to keep)
~waterproof cameras (in case i drop something in the drink whilen kayaking)
~batteries for 2 out of 3 pervious items
~address book/stamps (to support my postcard habit)
~money (know any good sugar daddies who'd like to support me for the next week and a half? me either.)
~credit card (in case those sugar daddy suggestions don't pan out.)
~discman/batteries (easy)
~music for discman (not so easy. this part of packing always takes me the longest. i have too many favorites to fit into one case, and i'd take exclusively stuff i haven't listened to, but what if i get an inxs craving, for example?)

any musical recommendations? (keep in mind the sugar daddy who will finance my trip to the record store has yet to arrive.)

i'm tapped out after buying a new pez dispenser tonight at a craft store. i was there for other reasons- nothing like having 12 kids in your class and 11 totebags for a mother's day project. oops. $36 later (i was buying some other stuff, too), there i was in line, waiting on a little old lady who was writing a check to pay for her $3 skein of yarn, and i noticed that they've come out with sour flavored pez. i was intrigued by the thought of watermelon flavored pez, so i bought a watermelon dispenser, which came with three packs of candy, obscured by some helpful leaflet outlining how you can buy a box of simpsons pez dispensers for $17.95, or something like that. anyway, i brought my new utensil home (it IS SO a utensil- it serves food, doesn't it?), unwrapped it, wondered once again why i can't get all the candy into the dispenser in one shot, like it shows in the diagram, and discovered all of my candy was pineapple flavored. blech. out of the four new flavors (pineapple, blue raspberry, sour apple, and watermelon), pineapple was not exactly my first, second, or third choice.

perhaps i could use these unwanted pez to bribe someone to find the remote for me.

Monday, April 25, 2005

it's been a monday- i could use a laugh.

just in case you wondered, this was my introduction to citrus- and, incidentally, the funniest thing i've read in awhile. i read it to my mom over the phone over the weekend, and thank goodness she's a fairly patient person, because i had to stop several times midsentence because i was laughing too hard to speak.

maybe it won't cause you to laugh so hard that tears stream down your cheeks while you gasp desperately for air......but it should at least make you smile.

other things that make me smile:

~"real genius" it's my favorite movie of all time- ever since i figured out the bits of this val kilmer movie that i kept catching on sunday afternoon tv were pieces of "real genius"- not "weird science", as i'd first thought. could you think of a more satisfyingly quotable movie? i mean, i ask guys about their hammering abilities all the time. it just naturally works its way into a conversation, y'know?

~new tennis shoes. i could care less about the fancy stuff- and please don't ask me to walk in standard heels, because i will wind up on the floor with a mangled ankle (or two) as soon as i stand up- i'm sure of it. plus, i don't look like i'm old enough to wear heels- it'd be like a six year old playing dress up with mom's shoes. but tennis shoes.....i'm all over it (nikes excepted.)

~steamed crabs. ah, the memories of saturday afternoons spent picking the meat out of a couple of paper grocery bags worth of crabs. there was so much old bay seasoning on those suckers you'd have to dip them in water before you started picking.

although, there was that one summer when i boycotted the crab picking party. i'd gotten it into my head that crab consumption was cruel. too bad the chesapeake is so polluted now that supply can't keep up with demand and a dozen crabs will cost you the equivalent of a car payment.

that aside, steamed crabs make me smile.....and reach for a seafood pick.

~keith haring's artwork.

~guacamole. saying it, eating it- assuming it's not that avocado jello they sell in the stores. (i believe "dean's" is the brand. have you ever looked at the ingredients? avocados are listed, like twelfth. that horrifies me.) homemade guacamole, however, makes me smile.

i could think of more stuff, or i could settle in with a bowl of crab soup, a bag of chips and a bowl of salsa, and disc 1, episode 3 of the a-team, season two. it's not the episode where the good ol' boys see boy george in concert, but i believe it'll entertain and amuse nonetheless.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

i need fresh mud on my shoes

two hours of flipping through other peoples' blogs, and if i never see another blog plugging online gambling under a misleading title, it'll be too soon.

the excitement is almost enough to drive me to pick bits of dried mud (remnants of yesterday's hike) off of my shoes. almost. we drove up to caesar's head state park again, this time with the intent of hiking to the suspension bridge that spans raven cliff falls. originally, we were going to take the strenuous trail to the bridge, in preparation for our (formerly) upcoming grand canyon hike. however, since that hike has been switched to kayaking on the colorado (which i still need to prepare for by flailing around in running water while trying not to drop my camera), we opted for the weenie hike instead. of course, i brought gnomes along, partially because i felt guilty about still having two of the visitors for a month and a half- a month since the big road trip for which they were sent to me. oops. (they're going into the mail tomorrow- i swear.)

anyway, after the 3 hour drive that would've taken less had i not been stubbornly searching for a shortcut, we arrived at the trailhead around 4 p.m. the weenie hike to the bridge and back was 6.6 miles (round trip), which we figured would take about an hour and a half each way. after several stops (pictures, of course),

duff at Caesar's Head State Park
Raven Cliff Falls
we made it to the bridge in an hour and a half. we stayed there long enough to take pictures

duff on suspension bridge at Raven Cliff Falls
duff at Caesar's Head State Park
Raven Cliff Falls, South Carolina
(digital cameras have some good points, though i'm still a film kinda girl), as well as establish that suspension bridges over waterfalls that drop 400 ft. are not exactly places where i'd want to spend lots of quality time. we backtracked a little bit and ate lunch (though it was dinnertime, i suppose) on a boulder by the creek.

on the way back, we contemplated revisiting the touristy lookout and taking a picture or two (dozen), but it started sprinkling, and suddenly making it to the car became a high priority.

this time next week, i'll be in arizona. on my wishlist for the trip (assuming i don't drown in the colorado river):

at least one indoor rock climbing excursion

a couple of hikes along the trails on south mountain

a drive down to de grazia's gallery in the sun for a special exhibit of the artist's "midnight sketches"
speaking of de grazia, he destroyed several of his works in the superstition mountains, where i'd like to squeeze in a hike, or two, if possible.

the usual trip to jerome, az
and while we're in that neck of the woods, i still haven't made it to montezuma's castle yet.

you know, just a couple of requests. (yes, citrus, bryce canyon is on my list for next time- assuming the mountain lions and rattlesnakes promise to make themselves scarce.)

my duckie fetish is officially out in the open

how do you like the facelift? i need to tinker with some colors, but it's an improvement over the overused template i'd been working with, don't you think?

i'll get my "real" post up later this evening, when i can access the pictures i took yesterday and maybe figure out how to get a short video put on here.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

don't yawn, or i'll be offended

i need a nap.

the easily entertained "nascar stars of tomorrow" finished driving around in circles after midnight, and i had to be back at work less than six hours later. add to that equation the "weekend" drink i consumed last night- not what you think- and i'm struggling this morning. (i don't drink caffiene very often, so when i do, it tends to keep me awake, which is why it took me an hour to drift off after i got home last night. nothing quite like the frustration of tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable when you only have a five hour window during which to sleep. ugh.)
when i came home around 12:30, the guys across the hall were hard at it- fortunately the cops didn't beat down their door at 4 a.m., as they did during the "housewarming" bash a couple of weeks after they moved in. they were still partying when i left this morning at a quarter till 6. i'm quite certain i'll be tripping over their customary bag of mostly empty cans later on today.
these neighbors are just the latest in a string of winners. when i lived catacorner to my current abode, the girl next door (whose apartment is now across the hall from me) was nothing if not popular. the girl who used to lived beneath her and i used to ponder how it was that no two of her suitors ever ran into each other.......furthermore, we were quite amazed that she (to our knowledge) never called out the wrong name. i think she moved on after bedding most of columbia. i was more than glad to see it- there were a few times that i was convinced her headboard was going to crash through our common wall and wind up in my bedroom- at 2 a.m.
the couple that replaced betty boom-boom were young and apparantly not too bright. the female drive various sports cars and always had a cellphone attached to her ear, despite showing no signs of having an actual job. (my bets are on "dancing", personally.) her companion didn't seem to be the sharpest pencil in the drawer. it's hard to forget the day i came home on my lunch break and walked past this goober, who was chatting away on his cellphone about how he couldn't believe he'd managed to rip off his driver's side door while backing out of a parking space. (i did not stop to ask how this was possible, though i was certainly tempted.) since the guy was practically in tears, i assume it was something of a big deal to him. as they say on my favorite ebaum's world animation- "eeeeediot". when i came home on my lunch break about a month later, the same guy was stabding on his balcony, looking at the side of the building. when i walked by, he asked if i saw any gravel on the building. since this wasn't exactly a normal place for gravel to be, i asked him why. his reply: "well, they told me i couldn't clean my fish tank by dumping it out the window anymore, but i accidentally forgot."
plus, they had their loudest friends over each weekend- both friday and saturday nights. so, you can imagine my excitement when i learned they'd moved out. i considered inviting a bnch of friends over and throwing a party, but the next tenants beat me to it. in fact, they threw such a party that i was awakened at 4 a.m. on a saturday by the sound of loud banging. (not the kind my former neighbor practiced- this was something more serious.) when i looked out the peephole, there were several men in uniform. since i was not yet fully awake, my first thought was "crap- my undeclared canadian potato chips and prescription drugs have finally caught up to me." however, once my contacts settled into place and my eyes were able to fully open, i realized the officers were knocking in the door across the hall. fabulous! i was off the hook once again! from what i can gather, the guys across the hall were partying too hard, a fight broke out, and one of them took off running. i'm not sure who called the police, but when they came, everyone was too......compromised to open the door, so it had to be knocked down.
once again, wow.

i'm pleased to report that both of my recent cd purchases have appeared in my mailbox. the duran duran tribute album showed up thursday (the combination of goldfinger covering "rio" and reel big fish's cover of "hungry like the wolf" made it worth every bit of the $25 or so dollars i shelled out for it.), followed by my eagerly awaited o-zone disc yesterday. i haven't listened to it yet (no cd player in the car, and 1 a.m. just wasn't the time to be playing it at home), but both it and my discman are packed for the drive to the upstate later on today......

......before which i will need a nap.

(i've tried to fix my spacing four times now, and it's become a case of "either give up, or throw the monitor across the room", so forgive me if things aren't broken uup into the nice, neat paragraphs i'd originally intended. it's not my fault- really.)

Friday, April 22, 2005


i must say, the excitement of listening to grown men driving around in circles is hard to beat- so i'm listening to grown men drive around in circles IN TRUCKS. yee haw.

it's all for a good cause- earning money to help pay for the U2 tickets i'm likely to buy in the morning (or attempt to buy, actually). the last time i caught U2 was during the popmart tour- right after i got out of high school. at $56 a ticket, it was my most expensive concert for several years- until i paid seventysomething to see a duran duran reunion concert in phoenix a year and a half ago.

this week, one of my favorite bloggers, citrus, has been pretty.....what's the word?.........well- let's just say his blog has been a must-read for different reasons than usual lately.

(not sure why i feel the need to separate my thoughts again- i suppose i feel the need to compartmentalize or something.)

it's official- the hike in the grand canyon i was hoping for next week is out. i'm still planning on hiking tomorrow- weather permitting. it rained cats, dogs, and small livestock this evening, but hopefully the weather will be better tomorrow afternoon, especially in northern south carolina (known as the "upstate"). otherwise, expect a lot of progress here and on my wnok webpage, as i will be sitting around moping. (sometimes shit happens, but that doesn't mean i have to be happy about it.)

sorry- nothing witty to share today- perhaps i'll be able to come up with something more entertaining in the morning.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

ack- i can't see to take a picture!

since last night's entry took three attempts before my computer finally took the hint and allowed blogger to publish the post i'd slaved over for half an hour, fifteen minutes, and five minutes, respectively, this evening's entry will be relatively short. (besides, it's hard to see when your left eye is watering as if you'd just realized you'd wasted $9.50 on an otherwise promising 3 hour epic- starring kevin costner.)

anyway, i just finished sorting through the latest treasures delivered to my mailbox. (99% mine, 0% my dad's- we may even be getting somewhere here!)

there was a letter from self magazine with "best wishes in your new home!" cheerily printed on the envelope- in pink, no less. (if you have not done so already, you can read about my recent battle with the post office in one of february's entries, titled something like "you've got mail- not necessarily your own". there was a follow up, too- but the title escapes me right now, and i'd hate for you to have to plow through a bunch of really boring entries about my zits and cockroaches (not mine) just to find it. really- it wasn't all that funny anyway.)

speaking of magazines, playboy has graciously offered once again to add me to their mailing list for only $1 an issue! great! too bad i'm a chick, and the only time i ever looked at the magazine was during a dry spell in college when i'd gotten tired of women's magazines and wanted to see if the men's articles were any better.(nope- though the jokes in men's magazines have proven far more useful than the articles concerning "100 ways to wear your hair" that appear in 9 out of 10 women's magazines.) somehow, i can't see wasting twelve bucks for that- hef will just have to find someone else to help pay the nail polish expenses for his bevy of babes. i rarely manage to paint my own nails........

i tore up some fabulous offer to earn 12,000 extra miles on one of the five airlines that consider me a frequent flyer, all for a low APR of 21%. no thanks, i run up more than enough debt on my credit card- i don't need any help. besides, i think i have enough miles with one of the airlines (of course i'm not sure which one- are you kidding?) to fly from the columbia airport to the parking lot of the columbia airport. yep- real worthwhile, those memberships.

my grandma wrote to send me a replacement check for the christmas check i have yet to cash. oops. has it really been that long? i meant to deposit it with another christmas check and buy myself a nice little savings bond, when the interest rate improved a little. oops. perhaps my financial institution in missouri will still honor these carefully aged pieces of paper. i should send her an email or something.

yep, grandma's hip. i believe she has a web tv, though it could just be an old-fashioned computer. on the other hand, mama is being dragged kicking and screaming into the technological age. she has a computer (i believe she's up to three- her i-book, a school issued laptop, and some sort of backup computer, just in case the other two decide they don't like her anymore), but- brace yourself- she does not have home internet access. (i warned you- hope the shock isn't too much.) in fact, to view this blog, she has to fire up the computer at work and try to convince the machine that the .html suffix on my webpage does not stand for "hotmail". (the filters they have on high school computers these days.......) perhaps two screens (room for error) and one quietly muttered string of expletives (mid-error) later, here she is. (hi mama!)

so i was more than a little surprised to hear she'd invested in a digital camera. (this was prefaced with "i've been a very bad girl," which generally means anything from "i almost got fired for telling [insert random person] to [something suggestive, most likely involving planting lips on a derriere]" to "i almost got fired for pantomiming how to [who knows- depends on the sort of day she's had]". on rare occasions, mama has made a major purchase- as was the case today.) what's more, she bought herself a 4.1 megapixel digital camera, a carrying case, and (i was especially proud of this part) an extra memory stick, so she can take 100 photos, instead of the dozen her camera originally allowed.

that's 100 pictures of my watery eye that i could've taken with her spiffy new camera this evening. perhaps i should raise it to a couple thousand with a set of decent memory sticks for her birthday. i wonder how much that'd come to at 21% interest........

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

not so pretty- but my zit looked fabulous

a yellow dusting on the car....head so stuffed with pollen-induced mucus that it throbs....ahhh....spring in south carolina. thankfully, it'll be summer, like, next week, so i think i can manage.

a friend recently submitted a friendster testimonial for my approval. it said something about how they found it troubling that i still look pretty much the same as i did my freshman year of high school- 12 years ago. it doesn't bother me- i'm perfectly fine not looking my age. the only time it has ever bugged me was in college, when most folks assumed i was jailbait, and therefore only really creepy guys tried to go out with me. (my old college flames notwithstanding, of course.)

the last time i flew on an airplane, the gate agent asked if i was travelling with an adult. i was quite flattered. i figure the short stature and braces (with colored bands around the brackets, because you only live once) threw him off. i thanked him for the compliment and boarded the plane.

my skin doesn't seem to have gotten the memo about my age, either. herbert (a zit so big i had to name it) took up residence on my left cheek yesterday. overnight, he hit puberty and blossomed, in all his whitehead glory.

so, to recap, today i wandered around with watery eyes, a runny nose, and a sizeable zit- i was one hot babe, let me tell you.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

b.a., hannibal, faceman, and murdock save the day- but not my aching head

i finally set the a-team: season two free from its cellophane prison this evening. (yes, i am mildly ashamed that it took me a week to get around to it, but after all, it took them HOW LONG to release the season two dvds? i need to ration the episodes, lest i run into the same problem i had with season one- finish the entire set in two weeks, then wait several months for the next installment.)

even twenty-something years later (23, for you anal-retentive folks out there), the a-team still put things in perspective. no matter how bad my day has been, at least i didn't have to fight my way through gunfire and tear gas to save a diamond mine. (season two, episode one.) even worse- murdock's bear, whose name escapes me right now, though i'm sure i'll have it stuck in my head for the rest of the evening, had his head blown off. while my noggin is stuffed to the point of mild pain, at least no one's shot at it. (not that i know of, anyway.)

Monday, April 18, 2005

i'm a barbie girl in a barbie world........maybe not

i'm on a mission. my young charge this evening has been singing the same two lines from "barbie girl", by aqua, for the past hour. the problem? she's not singing the right words. it's probably just me, but i can't help but correct people when they're mangling a tune. this five year old was amazed when i told her the song is actually a few years older than she is......thankfully, she's too young to ask if they had cds way back in the old days- 7 or 8 years ago. i told her mom i'd lend her the cd, but of course that wasn't enough for me- i had to put a stop to this child's lyrical ignorance.

but the one site i found the video on won't cooperate with this computer. (this was particularly frustrating, since i haven't seen the video myself in years.)


then again, i suppose if that's the only real frustration i have on a monday, i'm doing pretty good.

(and of course, now "barbie girl"- the correct lyrics, mind you- is running through my head. uh, great.........)

up late again

i should've headed home an hour ago, but as usual, i wasn't done with the projects i'd dragged into work this morning. (i definitely didn't get around to reading the sunday paper. it just hasn't been the same since they stopped running the opus comic strip several months ago.)

.....or maybe i was done and just hadn't finished playing around on the internet yet.

i want to tinker with this template, but i haven't figured out exactly what i want to wind up with yet. perhaps i'll be inspired this week. right now some sort of a blue wave effect seems appealing, but i am sure i'll have something new in my head in the morning.

speaking of things in my head, have you been to ebaum's world lately? i found the latest off color animation from group x there. (it's pg-13, as is most of their stuff...just so you know.) i suppose they needed some sort of public service announcement to follow this one.

anyway, in addition to getting updated on the latest from ebaum's world, i finally cashed in an gift certificate from 8 months ago. it took me a little while to figure out what i was doing, but the long-coveted o-zone cd should be shipped tomorrow, followed by a duran duran tribute cd i'd last seen in college- it's supposed to get shipped wednesday. it'd be fantastic if both were here in time for the big trip at the end of the month.

speaking of trips, i finally got some of the kansas city road trip pictures up.....perhaps i'll even get some sort of album together for my wnok webpage.

not tonight, though- i need to get home and crawl into bed.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

look, ma! no hands!

made it back from yesterday's trip to the upstate in one piece. (i was convinced for about half an hour last night that i'd encountered some poison ivy, but after scrubbing my skin off with poison ivy soap, i'm feeling much better.)

we went to raven cliff falls in caesar's head state park. we did the weenie hike to the scenic overlook. there's actually a suspension bridge that goes across the top of the waterfall. the hike to that puppy is next weekend's project, if time permits.

f stop at Caesar's Head State Park

we stopped at the visitor's center.
(sorry- the gnome's more photogenic than i currently am.)

Caesar's Head State Park in South Carolina
the view from the top

Raven Cliff Falls

raven cliff falls, from the scenic overlook

Despair Trail Caesar's Head State Park

a smaller waterfall we found along the "despair" trail.

as you can see, i'm happily abusing my newfound ability to post pictures.

you can find more pictures from the hike here and here.

you can get a gnome of your own here.

perhaps i'll post something witty and entertaining later on this evening......

Saturday, April 16, 2005

i'm bound and determined.... figure out how to put up pictures.

this is the sort of week i had.

(if something other than a rectangle with a red "x" in the middle actually shows up, it means my 547th attempt to get the link right actually worked.)

moving on........

so far this morning, i've added a new poll on my wnok webpage, checked in with various blogs, and uh.......well, not much else. oh, wait- brushed my teeth after i got to work. now there's something to be proud of.

the latest issue of rolling stone arrived a couple days ago. i love rolling stone, but it seems like every other issue is a "collector's issue" (actually, this one is just "a special issue", but you get my point), which means i should feel terribly guilty if i recycle it instead of adding it to the pile of "collector's issues" currently filling up my lobster trap. the subject of this latest one? "the immortals"- rolling stone's list of "the 100 greatest artists of all time". the first 50 were covered in a previous issue (undoubtedly gathering dust somewhere in the chaos that is my apartment), so this issue is actually the "50 slightly less great artists of all time." nine inch nails made the cut, as did guns n' roses (current incarnation excepted, i'm sure), aerosmith, frank zappa.........and somehow even eminem found a spot on the list. (i'm sure i'm in the minority, but i'm still trying to work that one out. sure, he's good at what he does, but does he really deserve to be on a list with the beatles and elvis?)

speaking of frank zappa, he's inspired me to include this site celebrating facial hair of all kinds.

i'm supposed to go hiking later today. i borrowed a book on waterfalls of the southern appalachians when i moved here........4 1/2 years ago, and since i'm off early today (the full timers are working on saturdays now), i believe i'll be heading to the upstate for a long walk. if you're really lucky, i'll make you suffer through pictures.

which reminds me- to continue the grand canyon versus new york city debate...... that should tide you over until i can scan in some of my boring grand canyon photos from last fall.

oh- i forgot to mention the horrible britney spears photo in the latest rolling stone. (it's on page 33, if you're following along at home.) even on my roughst days, i don't think i look quite that....i don't even know what word to use. manly legs, an unfortunate ugg-type boot/short dress combination- topped off with a tie. it's official- her high-quality hubby has rubbed off on her....and she's having his child, from what i hear. has anyone started a betting pool regarding how long this'll last? my money (the two bucks the irs left me with) is on less than two years.

enough cattiness.....well, maybe just a little more.

now that i know how to post pictures, remember the car i mentioned on my trip to kc... here it is

Friday, April 15, 2005

the sky above won't fall down...or photograph well

"i'm standing here on the ground
the sky above won't fall down...."

inxs running through my head- happens a lot. just ignore it, and maybe it'll go away.

my taxes are done. i sent uncle sam a check for a little over $200, and as soon as it was in the mail, i ran to the back to ensure it wouldn't bounce. that's just the caring sort of citizen i am.

you probably noticed i switched my mood again. (for the record, since these things get updated, i picked "excited" for today.....well, this evening. i would've been about three other things during the day, but i think i've finally relaxed.) in two weeks, i'll be in arizona again. yep- time for another hike into the grand canyon. interestingly enough, someone asked me today (with a straight face, no less) why i wanted to go to the canyon instead of york city. what do you say to that? perhaps i'll get my scanner figured out and then i'll be able to bore you with photos from my last trip (november) and then you'll understand. the one thing i didn't manage to get on film was the biggest reason for going back. just before sunrise, when the moon had already set, we were able to see nothing but stars in the sky. i mean billions of them. i was in awe. unfortunately, it's practically impossible to capture that sort of thing on film....which is why i need to see it again.

speaking of stars,(theoretically) they're out right now. since i have to get up at 5:30 in the morning, i should probably be out, too. 'night.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

my dishes are plotting against me.

i am pleased to report that only one dish was harmed during the preproduction of this entry. i got a phone call from one of the guys behind gnomads this evening. during the half hour conversation, i dropped one bowl and sent a cookie sheet flying. some of the crumbs fell off the cookie sheet, but it was otherwise unscathed. the bowl, however, wasn't so lucky.

anyway- exciting things to come....once i figure out my plan of attack. bodhi's currently on a honeymoon in italy right now, so i suppose i have some time to get caught up on pictures.

in other news, i did not rip the pants i wore today. (feel free to applaud.) i am still bundled up in my overalls, thanks to the erratic south carolina weather. hard to believe it was 80 degrees earlier this week. thankfully, the weather seems to be clearing up and we should be in for a nice, hike-friendly weekend. (not that i'm looking forward to it, or anything- of course.)

oh- the dishes. it seems that every dish i own has wound up in the sink or on the counter, in a non-reusable state. i was waiting for the dish fairy to show up and take care of the situation, but i guess the bribe wasn't big enough. so, load one was placed in the dishwasher with tongs, and when i'm feeling a little braver, perhaps i'll open the dishwasher up and see if any of the petrified food particles have actually separated themselves from the dishes. in the meantime, i think i overheard whatever is lurking at the bottom of the sink planning to stage a revolt.

i was a bad, bad girl today. i don't want to give uncle sam more of my money, but giving it to best buy seemed like a good idea. remember the a team, season two dvd set i wanted. well, it's now mine- including the "supercharged special feature: brother's keeper (knight rider episode)". what? you didn't know there was a knight rider/a team episode? funny, me either.

so, i have another new dvd set to collect dust, but i struck out on my quest for the o-zone cd. in fact, when i asked about it, the sales guy informed me he'd been there three years and had never heard of o-zone. nor had he heard of the numa numa dance. (come to think of it, this guy didn't look like he got out much....all the more reason for him to have known about the numa numa dance.)so, i guess i'll have to bite the bullet and pay for shipping from some random internet outfit for that one.

also, i had one other disappointment while perusing the cd selection at best buy. they have a box set (something to the effect of "i want my 80's box") that claims to have the big hits from the era of excess- or some crap like that. that one wound up back on the shelf after i discovered:

~the only songs it would have added to my collection were "let it whip" by the dazz band, and "steppin' out" by joe jackson. (not so interesting story: when "stppin' out" first came out, i was very young- kindergarten/first grade, maybe. i watched videos on the pbs program "color sounds", which i'm sure no one but me remembers. it was also my introduction to my favorite video of all time, which is neither here nor there. anyway, during the program, they printed the song title and name of the artist in the corner, just like mtv. (back in the day, when they played videos.) i vividly remember seeing joe jackson's name and thinking "that's funny- he doesn't look like one of michael's brothers." now, of course, he could be michael's brother.)

~inxs was not featured in the collection- not even "need you tonight"

~there was nothing on the three disc set by duran duran, either.

i briefly thought about buying the cure b-sides/rarities set, but wandered off to the music video section instead.....which i wandered back out of after realizing someone desperately needed to just toss everything on the floor and try that whole "alphabetization" thing i've heard so much about.

enough for now- the revolution in my sink needs to be discouraged- either with another load in the dishwasher or the militant dinnerware hitting the floor.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

obligatory tax post (and another one bites the dust)

it happened again.

i squatted down to pick up something (someone? can't remember exactly.....), and my descent toward the floor was punctuated by an unnerving "RIIIPPPP". dammit. that was my second pair of comfortable khakis to bite the dust this month. i suppose maybe next paycheck i should head to the store and resupply. (this paycheck seems to be going to uncle sam, who feels the need to help himself to more of my money.....despite already getting a good chunk of the $27K i toiled 60 hours/week to earn this past year.)

nope- my taxes aren't done yet. the guy i suckered into doing them says i owe somewhere in the ballpark of $500. (keep in mind, i have $4500 of braces that should come off my taxes, but somehow it comes out looking more like $4.50.) i told him to take another shot at my taxes and somehow change my bill into a refund. we'll see how that works out. mama has already volunteered to figure my taxes for me next year......i think i may have promised to take her to bermuda with the refund, but i didn't put it in writing, just in case it's a very small one. (refund, not trip....though i seriously doubt i could afford a big trip anywhere.....including one to the grocery store.)

i'm pleased to report i finally switched my wall calendar today. now, i'm staring at oscar the grouch (and slimey the worm) instead of super grover. i thought about switching it to may a couple weeks early, since i'll be away from the calendar april 29th-may 8th, but that seemed almost too ambitious. besides, i like slimey.

the weather today was crappy. hopefully it'll clear up by the weekend. i'm supposed to go hiking in the mountains on saturday, in preparation for the upcoming trip to the grand canyon. i don't think i'm in too bad a shape- not bikini form, mind you- but i suppose we'll see how i'm feeling sunday morning. besides, it'll be good to get out, and it might provide a photo opportunity or two for the gnomes. (as if i had the pictures from the kansas city road trip uploaded yet- i know.)

i'm trying to remember if anything else moderately interesting happened today.......pants was crappy....changed calendar.....nah- i guess that's about it. perhaps i'll have something more inspiring for you tomorrow.....a link....a amusing sound bite....or maybe not. after all- don't want to push myself too much- i need to concentrate on finding more things to take off my taxes.

Monday, April 11, 2005

i have a good excuse....

this'll probably be short and only semi entertaining. i'd apologize, but what can you expect from me on a monday?

i just noticed the calendar beside my computer is still on march. i could get up and do something about it, but the act of standing up might be seen as exercise.....and i've lost all interest in that over the span of the evening.

i'm in workout clothes, mind you, but i sort of lost any motivation i had when i wandered over to the workout room and found out (the hard way, of course) that the code to the doors had been changed. this was a bit puzzling, since the sign on the door said the new code would take effect tomorrow. perhaps one of our maintainence men got a little overzealous.

so, after a workout consisting of pressing various combinations of numbers (while uttering various combinations of less-than-polite words) and giving the door a good kick and/or shove every three tries, i came home. perhaps i'll get a little further along tomorrow.

since i have yet to drag myself to the store and locate the o-zone album no one else cares about but me, i spent a good five minutes trying to figure out which selection from my vast assortment of cds to put into my discman while i worked out. i finally settled on "big audio dynamite II", which i haven't listened to in a good five years. (sometimes, i just get in the mood to hear "rush" and "the globe" and "innocent child"- makes me nostalgic for whfs in the baltimore/d.c. area. i was heartbroken when i read in rolling stone a few months ago that they'd become a spanish station........)

where was i? oh, right- i was all set to listen to my b.a.d. II cd, but i guess it'll have to wait until tomorrow's workout attempt.

make that wednesday. the second season of the a-team comes out on dvd tomorrow, and i can't for the life of me remember if that was the season when boy george guest starred (as "cowboy george") twice. in the face of such important, necessary research, i believe the treadmill will have to take a beating from someone else....if they can get in the door.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

don't try to marry me- please!

another wedding under my belt. i am pleased to report, once again, that it was not my own. while most chicks my age seem to be either already hitched, or else making plans to add the "mrs." prefix to their names in the next couple of years, i am running in the other direction with the speed of a cat who knows he's about to head to the vet.

i can honestly say that i have never leafed through a wedding magazine, picturing myself in a big white gown with a veil twice the size of my head and a train that would require at least three small children to follow me around holding it up.

i haven't compiled a list of friends i wish to dress in stunning gowns they'll probably never wear again.

i'm not going to let you sing some touchy-feely romantic song while everyone stands around awkwardly. (unless, of course, you're either michael hutchence, bono, or simon le bon. in which case, you may sing anything you want.)

i love the electric slide as much as the next person, but i am wise enough to love it in the privacy of my own home- not with a couple hundred tipsy (distant) friends and relatives. ditto for "c'mon and ride it (the train)" no, wait- that song annoys me too much to love it anywhere.

i have never hinted about wanting any sort of meaningful, expensive jewelry. i'd probably lose/break it, and i'd rather be taken on a nice trip instead. besides, i'm way too young for that kind of commitment. so, please, none of this "getting down on one knee" stuff before i'm, like, 30. any attempt at this point will be met with peals of laughter and "you're kidding, right?" (a special exception will be made for val kilmer.)

i'm not registering anywhere- ever. i have a microwave, dishes, bedsheets, towels, and every cooking tool i could fit in my tiny kitchen. however, when the time comes, you may wire your gift to my "honeymoon in australia/house with larger kitchen" fund.

i've witnessed wedding planners in action. i've heard stories about what happens when some of these women get out of control. save the power trip for someone else, lady.

i'm missing out on a bachelorette party? damn. someday, with time and therapy, i'll get over it. besides, i've already amassed an adequate supply of frederick's wares and other accessories......and i doubt you know my taste anyway. futhermore, since many of my close friends are guys, i wouldn't want them to feel left out..........and i'm pretty sure hiring a male stripper would make the boys just a tad uncomfortable- or else the guys (stripper included) would just sit around and talk about football the entire time. either way, i think i'll pass.

most importantly of all- the pressure. after you get hitched, suddenly otherwise normal people (as normal as parents can be) start hounding you to have kids. "so- when will we have a grandchild?" is not a phrase i want to hear- ever. if you want one so badly, either bug my sister (stop laughing, diana) or figure out how to adopt a grandchild. if i ever decide to have one, it won't be because you want me to. keep it up, and you won't know anything about the kid until you're invited to their high school graduation. and no- i'm not naming he/she/it after you. or your mother. or your third cousin twice removed on your maternal uncle's side. (i think my mom had it right 26 1/2 years ago. various relatives "hinted" that i should be named after them, so she threatened to name me either "hepzebah" or "aloysius". after that, most folks were relieved when they saw my birth certificate.)

i'm just sayin'.

all that said (and i'm sure i'll add more later)- the wedding yesterday was beautiful. i'm just glad i wasn't the one standing up there.......

Saturday, April 09, 2005

spending my fortune on food.....

i'm starving. i brought a hot pocket in with me this morning at 6 a.m. it was history before 7. the only snack in my bag is a pack of gum, which is a huge no-no, since it'll get caught in my braces and will be impossible to get out and not only will that irritate my fabulous orthodontist, but it would also not be a good thing to try to finish an airshift speaking through clenched (well, tangled up) teeth.

i'm afraid i'm just not brave enough to root around in the fridge in the break room. i forgot to take home my leftovers last week, but if they've survived this long, they're probably furry, moldy, or just plain foul.

so, that leaves the snack machine. i want cheese popcorn quite badly, but again, dr. zetz said "no popcorn" when my braces were put on, and i think it may be just a little impolite to pick hulls out of my teeth for the duration of this evening's wedding. (just a little)

my other options seem to consist of various crackers stuffed with semi-palatable fillings, peanuts (pretty sure those are also on the list of foods i'm not allowed to have), chex mix (plain.....with pretzels, which i really could care less about), fried pork skins (this is the south, after all), and the belly bomb that is the "original" honey bun. (i managed to find 70 cents in my car, so i'm afraid that, at 75 cents, the m&ms are beyond my reach.)

i take that back- i have another option- potato chips. i was trying to behave myself, but i suppose the coke in the hallway with my name on it tells a different story......and it would be perfect for washing down an ounce of salty goodness. our machine is actually pretty hip- we have ketchup flavor chips (i usually have to bring mine back from maine each time i drive up), buffalo wing flavor, sour cream and onion (boring, but tasty), cheddar and sour cream (slightly zestier), and i am pleased to report that we have salt and pepper chips, which i smuggled back from canada last winter and enjoyed for...well, about a day after my return. (they were really good.)

so, i suppose it comes down to giving in to my white cheddar popcorn craving, or something from the ever-popular potato chip food group. ....or, if i can dig another nickel out of the couch in the lounge, i can go the m&m route...........

*five minutes later*

dammit- someone else must've already raided the couch. i didn't even come up with a penny. on the upside, perhaps there's a half open bag of some delightful snackie-poo somewhere in the building.........and then i can save my whopping fortune for next weekend.

how not to spend four hundred bucks

here's an interesting little tidbit i just read about in today's paper.....

disney on ice's production of monsters, inc. is in town this weekend. (which is slightly amusing, as we had 80 degree temperatures earlier this week- but that's neither here nor there.) anyway, it seems that a couple of the skaters were looking for ways to entertain themselves thursday morning, so they hired themselves a "companion". to quote the blurb in the paper,

"Confusion erupted when the men thought the woman was supposed
to disrobe, according to the report. The woman told police she only
provided companionship."

so, either this chick didn't want to admit to being a...ummmm...private entertainer of the naked variety, or else these guys would've been better off picking up a copy of the free times (the local rag) and contacting the author of one of those freaky personals. (sorry- "alternative lifestyles")
failing that, perhaps the guys' $400 would have been put to better use at one of columbia's many adult establishments.

i sincerely hope the skaters were not in costume at the time. how terrible would it be to know that mike and sully (for example- the article didn't name names) have to pay for their dates?

Friday, April 08, 2005

not the least bit amusing, unfortunately

i've been flipping through other people's blogs again. there were the usual sales pitches, the photo albums (i know i said i'd try to get some on here- i'm a little slow. one of these days, though.....), and a few i actually stopped to read.

i really liked the pictures here. (and i have a sneaking suspicion that a sculpture by keith haring was featured in one of the shots, which only made me like the photo more.)

i scribbled down the address to this one, just because one day i want to be this amusing. ("american bidet" caused me to fall out of my chair- and folks wondered what was behind the maniacal laughter. guess i should learn to show a little more restraint.)

finally, the author of this blog mentioned duran duran, so of course i had to scribble down the address. (too bad they are not coming anywhere near south carolina on their latest tour....i would've driven a few hours to see them again. as for the forty-something ladies squeezed into outfits that last fit in the early nineties, and were last fashionable about five years prior...... notsomuch.)

enough about other people's interesting blogs, let's talk about ME.

more specifically, let's talk about taking a group of two year olds to the zoo......on a day when it seems just about every other school in south carolina has sent a class to the very same zoo. it was almost as if there was a youth summit, and we were simply another set of delegates. fortunately, when it threatened to rain, many folks headed out. since i'm certainly not made of sugar, we toughed it out. (after all, it was just a light sprinkle, and since we just talked about weather last week, i figured i could use the "teaching opportunity to mask the truth- that i wasn't ready to head back to school yet. besides, the kids weren't worn out enough yet, which is always my goal.)

riverbanks zoo just welcomed a baby koala into the world a couple of months ago (after some "is she or isn't she?" speculation rivalled only by that currently surrounding britney spears), and we (okay- i) had hoped to catch a glimpse of the little one. assuming the camera worked (and i get my film developed in a semi-timely manner), i'll have some sort of picture up by......june. we also have tigers (i am pleased to report that none of my kids wandered off into that exhibit), elephants, gorillas (didn't get that far today), and the like. sure beats that exciting chinchilla exhibit i saw in my former town (which shall remain nameless, except i was just there for a wedding a couple weeks back).

after lunch, we spent time in the birdhouse, watching the penguins. well, let me adjust that statement just slightly- the big people watched the penguins, while the kids ran around like screaming maniacs because one of the penguins was swimming. (you would think that after that they would all take huge naps.......but that was not to be.) we followed that with a trip through the reptile/amphibian/fish house (of course, we had to find nemo), and then figured the kids would be tired enough that we could take them back to school and have a couple of hours of peace.

didn't happen. try five kids napped, while two reprised their penguin antics, which eventually woke the others up. (that should be used as justification for a pay raise throughout the field of childcare.)

oh- the highlight of the car ride to the zoo was my passenger screaming "look! a mcdonald's!" heading home, the highlight was finding a baby turtle in the zoo parking lot. i showed it to my passengers (they multiplied!) and then moved it to the grass- about fifteen feet ahead of where he'd been. (i didn't want to discourage the poor thing, and the middle of the road just wasn't a good place for a baby turtle.) the rest of the trip was a three-way discussion about baby turtles getting smushed by cars and how that was why i'd picked up the baby turtle and moved him. (of course, with two year olds, a conversation usually means three sentences were repeated about twelve times.)

not entertaining either? dammit. i will have to work harder. perhaps i'll find something inspiring tomorrow. i have another wedding to attend after work. backup #2 is getting hitched, and though i've threatened to stand up during the "any objections?" part, i've yet to work out what i'm actually going to say. (somehow "you can't marry her! you're my backup, for heaven's sake!" just doesn't seem appropriate.) i may be saved the trouble- the groom said something about taking that part out of the vows, thus thwarting my plan.

wait a minute- i did find something highly amusing that even you, the descriminating reader might appreciate. as we were flipping through news programs this evening, the caption on one of the stations (it may have been fox news, but i'm not entirely sure) said (and i kid you not) "thongs mourn pope". not "throngs", but "thongs" i'm afraid i was far too tickled with the mental picture of several million pairs of underwear attending the pope's funeral. i mean, i'm sure some of the mourners had selected that form of undergarment, but george bush (and dubya) was there- and if they sport racy drawers, i really would rather not know. (you know what i just realized? this is the second time i've blogged about thongs and the clergy in the same post in less than a week. strange how these things just keep coming up together, eh?)

okay- maybe it wasn't that amusing. (well, it was to me.) before i get fussed at for making light of a funeral, let me say it was a sad occurrence. it's also a little depressing to realize how many significant people have died lately- dead or alive (not the group) lists five folks in the past six days- and that timeframe doesn't include frank perdue or the media circus in florida. (it's tax season, but i'm almost willing to bet more people have recently set up wills (both living and regular), but still don't have their taxes done.)

damn- two unamusing entries in a row. sorry about that. i'll try to do better tomorrow- perhaps sleep will help.....or finally watching my new "young einstein" dvd.........

Thursday, April 07, 2005

still pooped

at the other end of the day, i'm tired once again- not that i accomplished especially much. worked until 6, froze my butt off watching a softball game, ate enough food for about two people (couldn't decide between the ominous-looking chicken sandwich and the chili for i compromised and had both.), typed some stuff for school tomorrow, chased down my avon delivery that may or may not have been delivered to the proper address.......

......and in roughly 10 hours, i will be letting, my gaggle of two year olds (neither organized enough to be a flock nor compliant enough to be a herd) loose at the zoo. out of the ten kids going, i figure one (or two, at the most) will wander off- hopefully not anywhere near the tiger exhibit. (the gorilla exhibit might provide good photo ops, though.)


sorry- i guess i'm too tired to be even mildly amusing tonight. i'll try to do better tomorrow. perhaps i'll even have an exciting tale or two illustrating the perils of taking a large number of little ones on a field trip involving wild animals. (by "wild animals", i am not referring to the two year olds- this time.)

i am so not awake

my goodness, it's rough trying to pry my eyelids open at 5:30 a.m.- especially less than a week after daylight savings kicked in. hope i remember to get the coke back out of the freezer when i leave. nothing quite like cleaning up an exploded can of soda in someone else's freezer.

in the meantime, here's something interesting to look at.

that's enough productivity for now...wouldn't want to accomplish too much before 7 a.m.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

munchies and memories

i'm craving something- i'm not sure what, exactly. tacos sound good, but i'm out of shells, torillas, meat, and lettuce- so i guess that's out. a crab craving was brought on by a blog i just finished browsing- the blogger was talking about a bumper sticker he saw that said something to the effect of:

baltimore- i kind of like it

i don't remember exactly what it was, and i'm afraid my computer might blow up if i try to open two windows at the same time (or, even worse, inform me that it had erred and needed to close all windows RIGHT NOW), so i guess we'll just have to stick with my paraphrasing.

reading that entry conjured up memories, so naturally i commented on the post. there i go again, putting in my two cents whether it's asked for or not. hope the author doesn't mind. (i, for one, get a kick out of it when random folks read something i've babbled about and feel compelled to comment. maybe i'm not just talking to myself, after all.....)

you see, i spent most of my formative years in woodlawn, a suburb of baltimore. we moved there from colorado a couple of months before i turned 4, and we left for kansas city right before my fourteenth birthday. to this day, when i dream about living in a house, it's always the house we had on northland road. i've driven past our old exit several times on the way up the coast, but i've always been too chicken to make the turn. they say you can't go home again, and while part of me wonders if the blackberry vines are still taking over the backyard and if the pine tree i planted on arbor day, 1984, when i was in kindergarten, still stands, i'm too afraid to have a look and find out they're not there anymore. (after all, it has been almost 13 years since we pulled out of the driveway for the last time.)

i miss picking crabs (the boys have the washington monument on their undersides, while the girls have the capitol building), and eating utz crab chips (flavored with old bay), and sledding on the hill at the woodlawn cemetary, and the "haunted school" in downtown woodlawn (as well as "skate night" on wednesdays) at the old woodlawn elementary school. i miss the walters art gallery, and baltimore county public library (the branch by woodlawn senior high school), and riding the kid-sized trains at the park up the hill- the name of it escapes me, and the science center, and the national aquarium, and the power plant (back in the day when it was an attraction and had rides and stuff- before the tough financial times and barnes and noble and the hard rock cafe), and sabatino's house dressing, and the short drive down to d.c., where i could wander through the smithsonian and climb on the dinosaurs behind the museum of natural history, and speaking of history, how about all those field trips to antietam....the bloodiest day during the civil war (or something like that- it's been a while since i visited), and memorial stadium........

ah, memories.

which is not to say i'd move back, because i'm afraid i wouldn't. too much pollution, too much crime- though we were fairly sheltered from it (or maybe just too young to realize what was going on). mama subbed at the high school, and came home more than once talking about a gang rape, or some student bringing in a weapon of one kind or another. then there was the morning we woke up and saw that several cars of our neighbors' cars had been torched in the night. i know of at least one occasion when we were told we had to be in by dark (we played a lot with the neighborhood kids), because some little old lady's house had been robbed recently.

yep, memories.

and on that note, i believe it's time for me to make some potato chip and cheese sandwiches (two chips with a small hunk of cheddar in the middle- best accomplished with pringles and sliced cheese), and head for bed.

smooth move, ex-lax

so after spending two hours last night washing and waxing my car, i backed out of my space...and into the dumpster at work. d'oh! that'll teach me to pay attention. i'm unscathed, and my paint job is just a little scuffed up, but thankfully i don't have any dents to worry about.

had it happened a couple of years ago, when my car was just a year and a half old, i would have freaked out. however, i made up my mind a while back to look into a new paint job when the car's paid off in another year and a half, and if it bothers me too much in the meantime, i can always whip out my handy bottle of touch up paint and take a crack at it. we'll see what's left after i finish buffing off my wax (and the pollen that has accumulated so far today).

i was reminded of a road trip mama and i took about ten years ago. she had a relatively new car (less than a year old, i believe, though if she reads this, i'm sure she'll correct me on that), and we took a road trip from kansas down through oklahoma and arkansas (just so i could say i'd been) and back up through missouri to kansas city. somewhere in southwestern missouri, we stopped for a burger, and when we were done, mama backed the car out of the space....and into a short yellow pole. unlike my little incident last night, mama's car wound up with a dent, in addition to a slightly altered paint job. i think she was initially a little upset, but decided that it was all for the best- this way, she'd be able to find her car in a parking lot. the paint finally wore off about a year ago......i've been tempted to replace it ever since.

anyway, just needed to share that. it seems that just when i feel cool, i pull a smooth move like that.

back to work......and a fresh coat of pollen for my car. *achoo*

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

wet pants

for the second time today, my pants are wet. don't worry- i'm not incontinent- i've got several decades (hopefully about eight) before i need superabsorbent undergarments.

the first soaking was at the hands of one of my kids at school. it was 80 degrees out today, so i filled our "water table", threw in some squirting dinosaurs, stripped the kids down to their diapers, and let them have at it. we also played with an elmo sprinkler- much like the one that was stolen from the backyard of my house in college.....but that's another story- and one too painful to relate right now...

so anyway, picture ten two year olds running around like naked maniacs in the great outdoors, and then throw an elmo sprinkler into the mix.....and then unplug the sprinkler from the hose and let the kids take turns spraying whatever their little hearts desired. you guessed it- i got nailed. (and folks wonder why i very rarely wear white t shirts......) i didn't just get a little spray of water, either- some of my little monkeys got me good. (the ones who didn't soak me directly said helpful things to their friends, like "(insert random name), get miss duff!") so, since i'm far from prissy and was already drenched, i played in a mud puddle with several kids in between soakings.

yep- i'm twenty six going on four.

my second case of wet pants today was my own fault. i didn't have any major plans after work, so i figured i'd head over to the radio station and take advantage of the long hose. my car was overdue for a wash, and i was getting tired of the yellow sheen caused by the frisky trees around here. (that would be pollen, for those readers who fell asleep in biology class.) i keep putting it off because i have only paste wax- do you know how much of a pain in the butt paste wax is? ugh. as is, i will be buffing it again tomorrow afternoon.

anyway, there i was, waxing my car, and to get decent leverage on the lower panels, i sat down. in a puddle. multiple times.

i don't learn...or maybe that wet shorts aren't a huge deal to me. after all, i'm certainly not going anywhere fancy this evening, and clothing dries pretty easily, especially in eighty degree weather.

after i finished waxing my car, i figured i might as well get something accomplished while i dry. so, here i sit, in this cushiony (and somewhat absorbent) chair, trying to think of new links for the website. maybe i'll find something interesting here.

or maybe i should just go home and change my pants.

Monday, April 04, 2005

beware the low flying shoes

i'm wiped out. i suppose not getting home from work until 3 a.m. will do that to a person....especially when they're supposed to show up at the other workplace about 5 hours later. ugh. i am ready to drop. seems like just last week i could pull off the all work/no sleep schedule.....heck, i had nothing but late nights in college. i must be getting old. dammit.

do you remember that tree in the peanuts comic strip that ate kites? i was outside playing with the gang of two year olds today- it was 80 degrees this afternoon. (we may not get many snow days- oh, how i miss those- but we get to wear shorts in march...if not earlier.) i got out a set of three frisbees i'd snagged for my classroom, and threw them for the kids to retrieve. all went well for the first 15 minutes, and then i started aiming for a tall pine tree....thinking the kids would be amazed if i could throw the frisbees between the branches. it worked about the third attempt, and then i foolishly tried to repeat the feat......and one of the frisbees got stuck between a couple of smaller branches. whoops. so, when one frisbee is stuck, what's the most logical way to get it out?

~carolina pines (i have no idea what the technical term may be) don't have any low branches, so climbing the tree was out.

~i'm short, and there was a hill involved, so most schemes involving ladders were out of the question.

~if i'd thrown a stick, approximately nine two year olds would have started throwing sticks......and it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye

so, i did the rational thing- threw another frisbee at the first one in an attempt (well, many attempts- i have bad aim) to dislodge frisbee #1 and get it back on the i could throw it again, of course.

you guessed it- frisbee #2 got stuck.

well, heck- i still had one more frisbee left, and after aiming for both of the stuck ones (and missing terribly), that one wound up the tree's captive as well.

hmm.....what to throw next? throwing sticks was already ruled out, and pinecones really aren't any better, and two year olds are kinda heavy.(if any parents are reading this, I AM ONLY KIDDING. i would never throw a child. drop kicking however, is another matter. (KIDDING AGAIN- don't fire me!)

the kids came up with several solutions- mostly waiting until mom or dad came and then asking them to retrieve the frisbees for us. (several parents got a good laugh out of that one.) finally, one of my alumni was kind enough to lend me a shoe to throw. it took about half an hour of shoe-tossing, and there were a few close calls (the shoe almost didn't make it back down a couple of which point we would have- you guessed it- thrown the other shoe), but eventually all three frisbees returned to terra firma and we headed inside.

maybe that's why i'm so tired. frisbee/shoe throwing was quite a workout.....

Sunday, April 03, 2005

despre tine

yep- i've been listening to o-zone again. i've had foreign boys on the brain since this afternoon. it'll pass eventually, but in the meantime, i've decided i need to chase down a copy of o-zone's album, discozone, to motivate me to get my expanding derriere on the treadmill. in the meantime, the link above is to their video for "despre tine". the quality isn't exactly ideal, but if you push your chair back from your monitor, you get the general idea. (i still prefer "dragostea din tei", but this is a nice change once in awhile. i also came across an article on another site (looking for more videos) announcing that the band has broken up. hope you can read french. i can remember a little from high school, but i had to dust off my french/english dictionary to decipher some of it. perhaps they'll reconcile after their cd hits it big in the u.s.

here's an equally high-quality version of "
dragostea din tei". looks like both videos were taped off of mtv europe.........i don't have cable, so i couldn't begin to tell you if the videos have appeared on american tv.

here's another site with a smaller, but higher-quality version of the "despre tine" video.

what should i have been doing instead of looking up this stuff? oh- i've got a little pile of things i didn't accomplish today. i seem to be highly productive when i'm procrastinating- just not getting things done that i ought to, that's all.

i need to figure out how to put pictures on my blog....maybe i'll explore that tomorrow night, instead of the three loads of dishes filling my sink and covering the kitchen counters..........

okay- going to accomplish something work related now......well, maybe after i browse through a few other blogs.

keyboard sumo

keyboard sumo

i found this website this afternoon, when i was looking for more links for my webpage. i challenged a coworker, who beat me twice. bastard.

i had a long messenger conversation today with an old friend. it's funny how you see things far differently at 26 than you did at 18. during the span of the conversation, i added a few things to my mental list of things i would have done differently if given the opportunity again. not regrets- just things i wouldn't necessarily attack from the same angle that i did 8 years ago.

but who out there can look at their college years and not find something they would change if they could go back and do it all again? hell, my list is about as long as my the end of which are my fingers, which did not perform as well as expected during my keyboard sumo wrestling attempt. ii wonder if i can practice on myself........finding ways to procrastinate is one of my strengths.......

Saturday, April 02, 2005

spanish priests and toe wedgies

once again, i found myself checking out other random blogs this morning. i came across 2 on dyslexia, a couple trying to sell various surgical (cosmetic) procedures, and a gaggle of sites from asian schoolgirls (and twenty-somethings) valiantly attempting to type in english. i even ran across a blog kept by a priest in spain who was pondering the impending demise of the pope. this one had a great picture of pigeons....wish i could take such a fantastic photo. speaking of pigeons, i ran across a blog (but foolishly forgot to write the address down) with a terror alert featuring bert (of sesame street fame). one of these days, i'll follow the link (which i managed to scribble down) and get the alert on my page....just seemed like a fun little thing to play with. if you have a blog, leave me a comment so i can check it out, ok?


driving to work this morning, i was disapppointed to see my local gas station raised the price of gas a dime overnight. i did a double take, partially because i couldn't believe what io saw, and partially because i had to squint to see- i didn't feel like fighting with my contacts at 5:30 in the morning. i was all set to top off my tank when it was $1.99/gallon (who would've predicted that we'd be calling that price "cheap"?), but at $2.09, i believe i'll wait. i'm sure it's all a plot by the oil baron in the white house to frustrate americans to the point that we actually agree to dig up half of alaska and start drillin'. my current car (ford zx2) gets just under 30 mpg in the city, but i believe my next vehicle (another 6 or 7 years down the road) will be a hybrid....unless something even better has come along by that point.


i was told this week that i need to have more confidence. i was going to begin cultivating my new, improved, fearless self today, but i wasn't awake enough to locate my poison t shirt in the half-light. (not that wearing a poison t-shirt in public will necessarily render me bulletproof- but it's a step towards building a thicker skin.then again, i should have that sort of thing under control. after all, i walked around in public for a couple of months minus my front crown. not to mention my delightful myriad of haircolors during high school and college...) so, my backup plan today is to pretend 5 people are listening to me while i'm on the air- instead of my usual "no one's actually listening- i'm just talking to myself" angle. not that i'm ready to speak out in public yet.....that would cause too many painful flashbacks to my high school speech class........eeek.

(for some reason, i just feel like separating out my thoughts today- i'm not sure why.)

the ant bite on my foot has grown....i suppose scratching it may have had something to do with that. damn fire ants. however, i find scorpions just plain creepy, so i'm not moving westward just yet.

yesterday's shoes (adidas superstars with blue and purple metallic stripes) rubbed my bites pleasingly, but i passed on them this morning in favor of flip flops, thinking that i'f nothing rubbed the bite maybe the itching would stop, the swelling would lessen, and perhaps my ankle would return to its normal size. the downside of flip-flops quickly became evident. it's been so long since i last wore a pair that the thong part is bothering the space between my big toe and the shorter (or longer, depending on the foot) on next to it. it's akin to the way your foot feels when you first put on a toe ring....or when you wear a thong for the first time and feel like you have a permanent wedgie. (my apologies to the spanish priest randomly browsing other people's blogs, in the event he's had the misfortune to stumble upon mine.) sorry guys- i don't know how to put the feeling in terms you can relate to....if i think of an example later, i'll try to remember to add it.

that's it- time for me to flip-flop down the hall and get some actual work done....or maybe i'll just peruse a few more blogs.........

Friday, April 01, 2005

i'm an april fool for you

quittin' after one more last one
tired of playin' the clown
if i want your opinion i'll ask ya
i can get myself down
night driving without headlights
wearing sunglasses too
looking good but sure don't feel right
anything to be cool
doin' hopscotch with my legs tied
jumpin' rope in wet cement
black leather in midday sunshine
all your mother's money's spent
doin' time on the metal detector
i'd like to drown in your pool
covering up everything that's defective
anything to be cool
a burning heart could be so cool
won't you be my fashion victim
c'mon i'm an april fool for you
i'm a mid-spring snowfall
joke's on you
i'm an april fool for you

how appropriate.....april fool's day, and "april fool" by soul asylum has been in my head most of the day. (if you're prowling through your cd collection looking for it, it's on "grave dancers union", which i had to dig out of the pile so i could copy the lyrics.....that's not banned by the government yet, is it?)

since i had to dig the cd out anyway, i figured i might as well throw it into my discman and give it a listen- it's been several years since i last opened the case. (to answer the unspoken question, i'm using my discman instead of the ever-popular cd-rom- standard equipment for computers these days, i think- for one simple, yet important reason: i don't have speakers hooked up to my home computer. therefore, trying to listen to a cd would be pretty much....pointless.)

anyway, just a thought for the evening....and now it's time to head for bed- have to get up early tomorrow for work.....when/where i need to undo my april fools' pranks on my webpage.

speaking of pranks, did you fall for any? or, more precisely, will you admit to falling for any?

a few interesting sites

remember wayne's world? do you recall that whole bit that mike myers and dana carvey would do about being "fished in"? how do i love april fools' day? let me count the ways.........or the interesting websites i found on the subject:

museum of hoaxes
april fools
secrets of successful pranksters
more april fools pranks
yep- more here
still more ideas
the prank institute
origins of april fools' day

good luck pulling off your pranks...let me know if any of them worked.