Saturday, May 05, 2007

never again is what you swore the time before....

you'll never guess what was playing on my ipod as i got to work this morning.

depeche mode came up in the rotation (i might not know how to take advantage of many of the features on my nano, but i'm all over that "shuffle" setting) about halfway to work, and i spent the rest of the drive trying to work out how i could construct a brilliant post that fit that particular line (which, for the record, will undoubtedly be in my head for the remainder of the day- dave gahan's british accent and all).

as i hit the back door here it the radio station, it all became clear. (i know, i know- my topic was actually pretty obvious, but i had to roll out of bed a couple hours earlier than usual, and since i'd stayed up late reading the rue mcclanahan memoir- up to husband number two so far- as they say, "waking up is hard to do".)

five things i never want to do again*

1. practice flying down a flight of stairs
snow covered hills? yes. flying on an airplane? sure- though i am highly fond of road trips, too. going careening down stairs? been there, done that....twice, come to think of it.

2. lima beans
i will not eat them on a train. i will not eat them in a plane. i will not eat them in a box. i will not eat them with a fox. you can give me broccoli (with or without cheese sauce, which i think is more than reasonable) and brussels sprouts all day (i like to peel off the layers and eat them), but even at the tender age of "older than i look", if you give me a plate full of lima beans, i am far more likely to flick them at other people than i am to actually eat them.

3. hammer pants
oh, what an unfortunate trend that was, wasn't it? i didn't even have full-fledged hammer pants- just some poor teal-colored imitation i'd bought with my alowance at tj maxx for the princely sum of something under $5. (funny how i remember that- but that was sort of a big deal, since i got $3/week towards my clothing allowance, and therefore, those heinous pants were a steal at less than two weeks' pay.) was it on in living color that hammer was spoofed? it seems to me i saw tommy davidson do a twirl and get trapped in his own pants, but that could just be a figment of my imagination. perhaps i should buy the dvd set and check.

4. attend an 8 hour concert without applying a drop of sunscreen
not one of my wisest moves. i was fourteen and invincible, and quite frankly, just thinking about it makes my shoulders burn. (interesting piece of duff trivia- the headliner was jackyl, whom you have not likely heard of unless you were into metal and/or chainsaws in the early 90s. they were the band behind timeless classics like "the lumberjack song" and "she loves my cock", which my relatives should continue believing is an ode to a rooster.)

5. nuke easter candy**
though i've heard a rumor that peep-nuking can actually be quite entertaining. perhaps i'll have to try this out on a microwave i don't have to clean....

*not even if val kilmer asks me to.
**see post below

1 comment:

Stef said...

hammer time! LOL

unfortunately, I have heard of Jackyl. They played at some dive in Virginia Beach somewhere... and yes, your relatives should keep believing that song is a love song to a rooster. cock a doodle doo! LOL