Thursday, July 30, 2015

flattery and a battery

as i get ready to take zamboni to the sears auto center for a new belt (he occasionally sounds like a screaming banshee when i start him and/or his air conditioner), i am reminded that i totally forgot to tell you what happened when i went to get his battery checked out/replaced.
i won't go into every little detail, but while i was chatting with the very personable auto zone employee, apparently lack of awareness of the placement of my shirt hemline vis a vis the waistband of my jeans led to a couple of other patrons getting clear confirmation of the fact that i was wearing underwear. (i'm not sure why this was a big deal- maybe because i'm not a "grandma panty" kind of girl?)

anyway, the second time this happened, our conversation paused, as he told me, "you must be giving one heck of a view back there."

when i passed it off as no big deal ("well, guess they know i wear underwear."), the tone of the conversation changed slightly. (was the proper response to have been horrified? i'm afraid that's just not my style.)

he behaved pretty well, though there were several suggestive hints/compliments regarding my physique. (this, despite the fact that i didn't make it to crossfit yesterday!)

i thanked him for the compliments.

when we were talking about the recent rollerblading incident and how i was still treating some torn up skin, he asked if i needed help applying some salve.

yeah, that's when it felt right to haul out something i don't have to use very often.

i told him i had that situation under control, followed by:

"i'm flattered, but not interested, and my boyfriend will appreciate verification of his good taste."

Saturday, July 18, 2015

habla espanol? guess not

this is my first time traveling solo somewhere where i don't know the main language. (most people are bilingual, but i'd say spanish is definitely numero uno.)

to say my knowledge of spanish is minimal is probably not lying, exaggerating, or otherwise telling an untruth.

still, i thought i'd try to use what little i knew.

i've not been able to work my vast knowledge of colors and numbers (up to twenty though, if i really thought about it, i might be able to find my way to 100) into a conversation yet, but i was pretty sure i knew how to ask the driver of the taxi from the airport how much i owed him.

when i got a blank look in response, i figured he might be hard of hearing, so i asked louder.
still, a blank look.

i called mama (who teaches high school spanish) later to make sure i'd used the proper term.

(i mean, i knew i had not propositioned the guy accidentally, but why the blank look? had i confused "how many?" and "how much?" and stunned him with my ignorance?)

""cuanto" is "how many?" and "combien" is "how much does it cost?," right?"

"uh, honey?" she replied, "i'm pretty sure "combien" is french."

well, guano.