Monday, November 21, 2005

just an old fashioned love song.....

i've spent the entire day trying to figure out what sort of post to construct this evening. i thought about going the "mushy tribute" route, but then i started to that was quickly ruled out.

i contemplated posting my favorite picture of SO, but:

1. the scanner and i are not the best of friends
2. there are a few people i wish to keep blissfully ignorant about SO's identity
3. since i haven't scribbled in my paper journal in months, i'm not exactly sure of its (and therefore, the picture's) current location.

so, i'm up to plan "c"- share a memorable, love-related, humorous anecdote that somehow involves both of us:

would you like to hear it? here it goes.... (sorry- in living color flashback.)

my second year working at the preschool, i was paired with a barry white fan. i don't recall exactly how barry came up, but for some reason, every time "you're the first, the last, my everything" came on, the radio was turned up.

i know, i know...what does this have to do with love, right?

somewhere in the piles in my room, i have an article about the mysterious powers of barry white. if i had enough money to cover it, i'd almost be willing to bet that about a quarter of my readership was conceived to the soulful sounds of barry. (mama, daddy- i'd really rather not know- thanks.) anyway, in this article, a group of stubbornly celibate sharks were being exposed to several of barry white's more inspiring hits....though i can't recall whether or not the experiment worked. (note: while i'm too lazy to chase down the original article, here's one google just plopped into my lap.)

anyway, back to the song. i first heard it on the money talks soundtrack, and to this day, i cannot listen to it without picturing chris tucker belting it out while driving around in a convertible. so between that mental picture, and repeated exposure to it in the classroom, i began to really like the darned song.

in fact, i liked it so much that when it came on the radio one afternoon as i drove over to SO's place on my lunch break, i left the car running with the song turned up, got out of the car, closed the door, ran over to the passenger side (still singing along, mind you), grabbed what i needed out of the seat, locked and shut the door, ran back to the driver's side to get my keys as the song was ending, and realized i'd locked my damned keys in the car...with it running.

to make matters even worse, the song had changed, and now the minnie riperton song that makes my skin crawl was blasting out of my car....and there was nothing i could do about it.

SO and i were not yet to the point where we had spare keys to each other's cars (but we most certainly were at that point the next day, when i had not one, not two, but three extra keys to my car made), so all we could do was call ford (i still had their free roadside assistance) and haul out a coathanger. (people wonder why i leave a window cracked- that's why. my car's not fancy enough for anyone else to swipe, but if i manage to oh, say, lock my keys in the car with it running, at least i can spend my time waiting for a knight in a shining rescue vehicle jabbing at the interior of my car with an untangled coathanger.)

by this time, things were getting serious- i'd come home for a nap, and my time was behind spent listening to a block of the very worst of the 70s. (i think it was a lunchtime theme or something that day.) looking back, perhaps i should have tried to poke at my stereo with the coathanger, but i was far too busy concentrating on looking like i knew what i was doing.

i had no luck. however, after giggling at my mad coathanger skills for a good ten minutes, SO (chivalrous sort that he is) offered to try.

two songs later (the block had ended and we were up to "she's a bad mama jama" which, had my keys not already been locked in my car, probably would have landed me in the same predicament...i love that song.) i was on the phone with ford again, telling them my keys had been rescued (that would make for an interesting parody of those annoying "onstar" commercials, wouldn't it? "help! my owner has locked me in the car and is forcing me to listen to "jammin' oldies"!) and that their help was no longer needed, but thanks.

and in case you're wondering, SO's willingness to stand next to a car blasting "the hustle" while poking at my lock with a coat hanger when he really should have been sleeping instead pretty much sealed the deal.

.....and i suppose, in some odd way, i have barry white to thank for that.


ltlme said...

after suffering through the 70's i bet you never locked yourself out of your car again.

Martha said...

Beautiful! It is very important to have significant songs, whether you like them or not. Ours is pretty much anything by Dinosaur Jnr and The The.

Man we're old.

Martha said...

oh and by the way, now I have Homer dancing to the Hustle in my head. Help.

mama said...


Mossy Stone said...

I can just hear The Cos saying, "...and that's how I met your mother."

sojourning crow said...

yea, when my girlfriend and i exchanged keys it was like, "Whoa, there's almost no going back after this." Have you thought about taking writing classes??

duff said...

sibling: actually, i like a fair bit of 70s music. however, i also like to be able to change stations when a song that does not thrill me comes on.

martha: homer doing the hustle? thanks for passing on that mental picture......ugh.

mossy: actually, our first meeting was a different best saved for later.

sojourning crow: i'm that good, or that bad?

i considered taking creative writing in college, but since i tested out of the usually mandatory english/writing courses, i spent my time working on other areas of interest.

however, i have threatened for years to write my "best-selling autobiography", and admittedly, this blog is a place for me to flesh out some ideas for said book.