Friday, November 25, 2005

family and freezing temps

i meant to post this last night- really i did. however, i had a little too much turkey (preferable to the "little too much wine" of yesteryear) and fell asleep.

isn't that a better excuse than "i was up late messing with avon and got so frustrated at being unable to enter the website that, had i not shut the laptop down, it would have been sent flying across the room"? it is- i know it.

at any rate, here's a quick rundown of yesterday, as i have to hop into the shower soon, and head out on a couple of super-secret missions with daddy:

-wake up at 6:30, after 5 hours of sleep. finish packing, shoo SO into shower (he takes really looooong showers), try to figure out what i've forgotten to pack.

-double-check discman to ensure that i have an adequate battery supply. dig up more batteries. decide it would be too much trouble to swap out cds....besides, the basics are covered (depeche mode, duran duran, inxs, marvelous 3, billy idol, et cetera.)

-hop in shower, get dressed, head to airport.

-fuss at SO for dropping a bomb right before i leave town (he loves doing this...i'd love to take off my shoe and beat him with it, but he'd probably like that, too.)

-grab quick overpriced meal at airport, then tell SO goodbye.

-find seat in waiting area near three year old with exremely passive parents. (there wasn't anywhere else to sit.)

-fantasize about beating three year old child with her baby bottle, just like she's doing to the window by my head. marvel at how parents just sit there...not saying a word. also marvel at how anyone can see logic in still giving their three year old child a full-blown baby bottle.

-board plane 20 minutes late. notice that three year old child (still clutching bottle) is two rows back. hope she'll sleep on flight.

-realize there's also a baby in seat behind me.....because of the screaming.

-arrive in detroit airport after a vomitrotious landing. feel relief that i did not toss my cookies, though that landing was so -ahem- rough i figured for sure i'd need that little paper bag.

-marvel at the psychadelic sort of walls in the tunnel between terminals. (of course, by "marvel at", i mean "take pictures of".)

-set bodhi and guest on fountain in terminal and take pictures. note approving smiles from crowd.

-board plane on time.

-realize i'm in an exit row. take pictures with legs fully outstretched. hope i don't have to fulfill any of those "exit row duties"

-hear announcement offering trail mix for $1. begin munching on cool ranch munchies mix from home. finish 2/3 of bag, minus the pretzels.

-turn bag over during 30 minute wait for takeoff.

-"eight servings, my ass!"

-well, those pretzels are pretty big.

-scribble out really belated (we're talking months, folks) birthday cards after finally taking off.

-arrive in kansas city. note, with horror, that daddy's 27 year old (at least) moustache is gone.

side note: every time i come home, daddy has shaved off more hair. i find this incredibly unsettling, and sincerely fear for the safety of his arm hair.

-daddy shares his fondness for mp3s....which his miata is not capable of playing.

-offer to skip flight home and take miata.

-i think there may have been some sort of agreement there. woo-hoo!

-head home- walk in the door to find at least 20 people in house. say hello to beloved grandma, then hide.

-disappear with dad on post-dinner whipped-cream run.

-see ghost of boyfriends past at first gas station. (i swear it was him- he even got the same odd smile he always used to upon seeing me out of the corner of his eye.)

-wonder whether the chick with him was a girlfriend- or a wife.

-find whipped cream at k-mart, of all places.

-head home with said whipped cream. resist urge to spray it on random foodstuffs.

-while supervising the cleaning up of leftovers, get hit on by stepsister's girlfriend (i think).

-contemplate making a shirt that says "i like penises."

-collect grandma, and go to hospital to see grandpa.

-cry upon seeing grandpa reduced to a pathetic shell of former self.

-head home and call jamie, partner in crime. make plans to hang out friday afternoon/evening.

-drive with daddy and grandma to the plaza (the ritzy shopping district in downtown kansas city) to see christmas lights. hop out of car, walk two blocks, and take several pictures.

-decide it's too damned cold to be outside- head back to car.

-upon return home, realize house keys are still in south carolina.

-using daddy's spares, get into house and call SO to give him rundown of day.

-find out SO's dad had a medical emergency.

-feel quite badly about not being in arizona with him.

-call SO's mom. find out she has a very good friend with medical emergency.

-conclude that november is a crappy month for family. (aside from anniversary and sibling's birthday, of course.)

-dodge steprelatives on way to computer.

-contemplate blogging, decide avon probably needs to be taken care of first.

-call computer many unflattering names when avon site does not open.

-too tired to blog, resolve to get up early, finish order and blog.

-crawl into bed for 8 hours of sleep. (do you have any idea when the last time i managed that feat was? let's just say, it's been a while....)

okay- on with my day. i'll be back later to post pictures/adjust this for maximum humor.


Joefish said...

Damn. There's a lot happening in this post. A dozen or so comments spring to mind. Here's the one I'll actually leave: "A miata? Cool."

ltlme said...

for once i have access......
dad without mustache? must fly out before he grows it back. i've begged him to shave that thing off for years now.