Wednesday, October 12, 2005

drunk again

now, now- before you think i started my weekend a little early, let me clarify my title a little.

1. i drink maybe once a year, at most.
(i don't drink when i have to work the next morning, which limits me to holidays and vacations.)

2. i'm still trying to live down the last time i overindulged.
(i learned last thanksgiving that i should not consume an entire bottle of wine in one sitting, as un-consuming that same wine is not. fun. at. all. ....and we're not even going to begin to discuss the elephant that was sitting on my head when i finally crawled out of bed the next morning.)

3. the strongest thing i have in the refrigerator is a bottle of cran-blueberry juice that's a few months past its "sell by date".

4. since turning 21, i have bought alcohol at the store a grand total of once- and that one time was for a potential future in-law this summer. were it not for that, my streak would still be going strong.

5. when sibling and i were little, every time we had the hiccups (i was usually the afflicted child), mama would ask, "drunk again?"

i had the hiccups six different times yesterday.

i had the hiccups while trying to fold laundry.

i had the hiccups while drinking orange juice. (nothing like a little acid in the nose.)

i had the hiccups while unscrewing drawer handles in the bathroom.

i had hiccups during three separate conversations with the same person.

it's a good thing i didn't start laughing about it. have you ever had that deadly laughing/hiccuping combination?

it happened to me once, when we drove to alabama when i was a young fashion cripple (not that i've fully recovered, but believe me, it's quite obvious by the pictures that i was dressing myself. maybe if you're really good, i'll get one or two scanned in and added to this post later.) to visit my courtesy aunt and uncle.

i can't remember where we were driving (the nasa facility near huntsville, i believe), but daddy, sibling, and i were in the car when the hiccups hit. for some reason, my diaphragm freaking out struck me as funny, and i started laughing.....which made me hiccup even more, which made me laugh even more, which made me hiccup even more, which made me laugh even more, which.........(you get the picture by now, right?) it took me a good 20 minutes to stop.

which is about how much time i've got left before i have to head out the door.........


Dirk the Feeble said...

Cran-blueberry? They will mix cranberries with ANYTHING.

Dad said...

Actually, armaedes, Cran-blueberry juice is truly wonderful. I was treated to it once and would LOVE to get some more.

Dirty Gypsy said...

Duff, I can sympathize. I have notoriously LOUD hiccups, and it's downright embarrassing. Well, for me anyway. Everyone else usually laughs at me. And I've gotten them at work so badly that I've had to close my office door, and I wasn't able to answer my phone for about an hour. Stupid hiccups.

LBseahag said...

Thats hilarious...I hear cran-blueberry wine is the perfect cure for hiccups...or at least a good vomit should clear you up like new!

ltlme said...

omg...i remember that!!!!!!! yeah, that was on the way to visit space camp. I loved that place!!!! That was the same trip where dad had his stress attack.

just thinking said...

The best cure for hiccups...

Touch the end of your nose with your index finger til they go away..

I swear, it works.

duff said...

armaedes, lbseahag: you have no idea what you're missing.

daddy: is that a hint?

dirty gypsy: i'm sure there's a support group somewhere for people with our affliction.

sibling: and threw up in the parking lot of that restaurant in mississippi.....and elsewhere in mississippi, i lost my beloved kitty blanket. they still haven't mailed it back to me. bastards.

just thinking: hmm...i'll have to try that, though i should be okay for the next few least i hope so, anyway.