looking for love, part two

this topic came up again today- not once, but twice, and since other post-worthy topics seem to be eluding me this evening.....voila.

in my online wanderings today, i found myself chcking out all sorts of blogs and profiles- both on myspace and blogspot- and wondered about more than a couple.

i mean, really, if you look fourteen, perhaps you shouldn't try to convince me that you're my age. (then again, maybe taking the "class of 2009" icon off of your profile would make things a little more believable....i'm just sayin'.)

i also have to wonder about the folks who use cartoon characters as profile pictures. i mean, sure cookie monster's cute, but i have a really hard time believing that you, mr. "single, slender, and 6'2", are covered in blue fur and have google eyes......the cookie habit, i'll allow however. i mean, after all, i'll admit to having a couple of boxes of girl scout cookies hanging out in my pantry. so, in the spirit of honesty- i'm going to give you full disclosure:

(are you sitting down? it might be a good idea.)

despite my pictures, i'm really a 350lb black man with red hair. really.

how awkward would it be to fall for someone who resembles, say, rebecca romijn*, arrange to meet them on the steps of the lincoln memorial, and when the time comes, you realize the only person on the steps of the lincoln memorial besides you- the one who looks strangely like cookie monster- is, in fact, your date?

i know, i know- most of the time, the little white lies told in personal ads and profiles and whatnot are simply an effort to sound as appealing as possible to potential mates.

but what if...

what if we were a bit more realistic? i mean, we've all heard that there's no such thing as "mister right"- you have to find someone who has flaws you can live with.

what if, instead of putting your best foot forward, you had to write a personal ad listing all your flaws.....sort of an advance warning/disclaimer, if you will?

what would you say?

here's mine (assuming, of course, i were single- which, well, i'm not):

swf, 27, temperamental scalp, even more temperamental skin, blondish/blue, 5'2", prone to claiming i'm going to get on the treadmill on a daily basis but usually wind up running out of time because i'm too busy screwing around on the internet and/or hitting the "snooze" button, seeks single guy who won't roll his eyes when i tell him the same stories over and over and is agile enough to get out of the way when i throw something across the room out of frustration. must also be willing to clean the dishes after i cook and fold laundry because, well, even though i say i'll do it, i'm really hoping to get out of it.......

good grief- how long is a personal ad supposed to be? i ask only because i just deleted two more paragraphs, mostly because the ad would wind up costing me an arm, a leg, and quite possibly my spleen, and flaw number 15 was my frugality.....which means all i'm willing to give up for potential love is an eyelash. i should have left in flaw number 17, though- the part about being a borderline workaholic....which reminds me- time to get back to doing something resembling actual work.

*i totally do, of course**

**assuming you're half blind and we're in a heavy fog at night