Sunday, April 09, 2006

just leave me enough for a cherry coke, okay?

ah, yes- it's that time of year again.

no, no- that's not a reference to the warmer weather and my eminent struggle for self-tanning perfection....not this time, anyway.

i'm talking about uncle sam's yearly attempt to wrestle a few more bucks from my tightly clenched fists. somehow, he always wins...and i have yet to figure out how he does it. clearly, he's been talking to my college alumni association, as both entities seem to be under the (false, i'm telling you!) impression that i make a whole hell of a lot more money than i actually do. i mean, sure, i have as many jobs as i do degrees (3), but it's not like any of them pay enough for me to drop the others and/or buy a winter home in the caribbean or anything like that.

where was i again?

oh...yes...i believe we were talking about how i don't generally get a refund because even though i'm not exactly scrooge mcduck, the government seems to think i have enough money to just pour hundred dollar bills out all over my bed, roll around in them, and then stuff a handful into an envelope to mail to them.

well, dubya, uncle sam, and anyone else trying to get their dirty hands on my money, i have news for you:

i. don't. do. that.

not with real money, i mean.

do you have any idea how many monopoly sets one must buy to be able to dump out all of the $100 and $500 bills onto a queen-size bed and roll around in it a la demi moore in indecent proposal?

me either, but perhaps that's a good excuse to put the calculator and w-2s away.....


locomocos said...

haha! i'm feeling your words, O bitter tax sister!

i have to actually PAY the gov every year. WTF??

i am currently trying to change my tax status - even though i need all the money i can get during the year since i'm always broke.
whatever happened to high school - or even in college when we were excited to live off of $400 a month? Geez!

i HATE getting old!

i like your blog!

ME Strauss said...

If you get enough for the cherry coke, I've got enough for the ice. Good luck with those taxes, I'm still working to pay mine, gotta go.

Labbie said...

Here's the deal... I mail you a big box of fake cash and a videocamera... The rest is up to you. How about it?

Stef said...

That's my fantasy... to roll around in huge piles of cash. Okay, it's not really my fantasy, it's the fantasy of someone I know... he wants to see me rolling around in huge piles of cash. But it's a nice thought nonetheless.