Wednesday, April 12, 2006

surely thou doth jest

when i opened up this window to write, i'd originally planned on simply hitting {ctrl- v} and presenting you with a carbon copy of this evening's myspace post. it's not that i really feel bad doing it- in fact it happens fairly frequently. i mean, why write two different posts when i really don't seem to have too many readers who check out both blogs? you can call it lazy, i'll call it being practical. (let me state for the record, though, that i absolutely, positively hate the blogging feature over there. even in "source" mode, it never fails to piss me off at least thrice in the space of a post.)

wait a minute- i just said "thrice". where the heck did that come from?

actually, i know exactly where it came from, and this time, i choose to blame david sedaris.

i have a half-written post on my laptop about last evening's performance by sedaris. i haven't decided whether or not it'll see the light of day your monitor anytime soon, mostly because i'm too lazy to finish it right now. however, just in case i do get it finished/backdated*/posted, instead of mentioning the cocktails that were on sale next to the popcorn-pushing concession stand or the scalper (yes, you read that right**) on the sidewalk outside the performing arts center, i'll instead mention the college girl i stood behind for better than an hour and a half who had one of those weak chins that i'm afraid never fail to hold my undivided attention, even when i'm desperately trying to concentrate on the essay i'm reading about sedaris' stint as a shakespearian community theatre actor and how his temporary obsession inspired him to speak in old english and oh good grief- the girl three people in front of me doesn't seem to have much of a chin either and how on earth does she walk in those skinny platform wedge shoes without snapping her ankle like twigs during a drought and why on earth is her friend wearing a lace shirt with her bra showing through? surely she got the part about sedaris being not only gay, but happily taken as well and gee it seems like i've read this page three times and yet i never comprehend what i'm reading because i'm too busy people-watching over the top of the page.

where was i? ah, yes. it's amazing how much people watching/reading one can do while standing in the book-signing line for an hour and a half. in addition to the chicks without chins, there was a punk girl at the end of the line (rockin' the checkerboard vans, no less- a nice touch, in my book), a chick in stilettos and shorts (sadly, she left the fishnets home. that would have been something to write about for at least a couple days), several emo boys, and an employee with the most vibrant red hair i've seen in a long time. (oh, if i thought icould get away with it...i mean, it was really a glorious color, though if i did it, i'd be sure to color all of my hair, not just the top five inches, except when finger waves were involved....but that's just me.***)

the half-redheaded employee walked by just as we got to the head of the line, and my attention shifted to the chinless girl, who was holding out her cell phone and begging sedaris to tell someone "hello". he recoiled. seriously. he told her he'd say "hi", but he refused to touch the cell phone.

you have no idea how good it feels to find out that a famous author (or singer, or actor or whatever catches your attention) shares your intense dislike of cell phones. in fact, since SO and i had had a "discussion" on that very topic a couple days ago, i was thrilled to have a new weapon in my arsenal the next time the topic comes up.

i mean, really, who can argue with david sdaris' point of view? he's a pretty levelheaded guy, after all...and he has a well-defined chin.

*because i'm sneaky like that
**scalping motley crue tickets makes sense....sort of, but david sedaris? i'm afraid i just don't see it.
***in such situations, i find it helpful to ask myself, "what would mid-80s cyndi lauper do?"

1 comment:

jamwall said...

visiting the myspace pages make me feel like i'm somekind of parallel universe involving clowns hosted by merv griffin.

oh wait....that's the dream i had last night. nevermind..