Thursday, September 01, 2005

you searched for what??? (part five)

i can definitely say some of you websurfers out there are nothing if not creative. here's a the latest batch of odd searches that somehow led you here:

susan ballion phone number
susan ballion address

all right- which one of you is stalking siouxsie sioux? these two searches were performed within five minutes of each other by someone on aol.

dude, if she hasn't called by now, she's not going to. give it up.

crossing the canadian border with a ZX2 car

this was interesting, since my car has never been in canada- mama always drives when we go. perhaps i should check out some of the other results for tips regarding this matter.

music by O-zone and plus teeth-Squeeze box

my, what an interesting combination. even stranger is the fact that i seem to be the number one resource for this sort of information. (another of the services i cheerfully provide.....)

Michael Hutchence's jokes


"That’s the way it has to be" Dino

that's the way it has to be, 'cause that's the way i like it....... "i like it" was a hit for dino (i believe his last name was "esposito", for the record) back in july 1989.

crap- were that song a child, it'd be driving now.

The Song Detachable Penis

ah- another musical query. if this continues, folks might realize what a musical geek i am.

adult size "rizzo the rat" costume

where to start with this one? how about the obvious- that rizzo the rat is pretty small, so i'm not too sure how is spindly arms and legs would work out in such a costume.

furthermore, what sort of social event or promotion would necessitate the use of such a costume?

i think i need to see some pictures of this.

finally, the most disturbing offering of the past week was a search performed by someone in belgium who was looking for legal sex with preteen girls modeling bikinis.

you have no idea how glad i was to learn that i was way down on the list for that one. ew.

think you folks can top this list next week? for inspiration, check out refer madness.


Motherdear said...

YIPES!!! This is some weird stuff, duff!!! The Belgium porn thing is totally awful. But I guess a lot of that exists, huh??? I am just floored that anything you write would possibly put you in the results of a search like that, even at the very bottom of the list... oogie. WEIRD Stuff, goind on there!

bricotrout said...

and duff is nothing if not informative. i had always wondered what siouxsie's real last name was. now i just need to figure out adam ant's last name and billy idol's.
and that legal sex with preteen girls one... that was a type-o of mine, sorry. i meant to type in 'duff's home address' my bad.

duff said...

like you don't already know those. i covered all three in past posts.....and i'm not falling for these professions of musical ignorance.

as for the other matter- that's one hell of a typo, dear.

Larry said...

*I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable...

...Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on...*

God bless King Missile. I love that song.

DrM2B said...

HI ....question here??? How do you find out what "searchings" caused someone to find your site?? Im curious why I keep having Thai and Portuguese blogs referring.........Gracias mi muey loca chica :)

duff said...

thanks to larry, i'm sure i can anticipate a bunch of "penis" searches over the next week.

drm2b: let me say statcounter is a fine and beautiful thing. if you have it (it's free, by the way), all you have to do is click on "visitor paths", and you'll be able to see where each of your visitors came from.

i find it highly amusing- not that you can tell, of course.