hello...what's this?

a funny thing happened on the way to work this morning.

i had all my worldly possessions with me- headphones, computer, enough food to feed a small third world nation- staggered out to my car, unlocked the passenger door, carefully arranged everything on the seat, walked around to the driver's side (just because, well, it's a heck of a lot easier to drive from over there), and found this:


i did a double-take:


of course, the obvious question came to mind first:

how did val kilmer know which car was mine?

no, wait- the first question was:

okay- did everyone get one of these? is it just some sort of clever advertising- a little something to try and attract my attention before i crumple this up into a little ball and toss it in the trash?

so, i looked around. the cars next to mine lacked notes. perhaps they were churchgoing folk and simply hadn't been around when the notes were passed out.

so, i took a quick jog around the parking lot- nothing. no one else got a note.

this was a bit of a shock. i mean, i haven't been the recipient of a note from a secret admirer in years. the first one was six months after moving to columbia, when my flirtatious mailman (who, in retrospect, would have made a great sugar daddy, but, quite frankly, while i found the attention flattering, i just wasn't all that attracted to him) felt the need to express his, uh, fondness for my jeans (or, more precisely, what was in them) via a short missive left in my mailbox. this note was followed about six months later by a note tossed in my driver's side window by a hunky landscaper who worked at school and had been tipped off by a good friend of mine that i'd admired his parents' collaboration. his name was verlon (seriously!), and he had spelling issues (a pet peeve of mine), and i was too chicken to ever call the number.

i still have the note, though, so i suppose if SO ever kicks me to the curb, i have a potential backup lined up...assuming his phone number and marriage status haven't changed in the past 4 1/2 years, that is.

back to the matter at hand: where did this note come from, and was it really intended for me?

the use of the number "2" instead of writing "too" out can lead a few different directions:

1. do you kow how many prince songs feature numbers? obviously, either my secret admirer is either a prince fan, or else he's the little purple pixie himself.

2. my secret admirer can't spell. not only that, but secret admirer knows spelling is pretty close to a dealbreaker for me, and has cleverly employed the use of the numeral instead of trying to figure out which version of "to/too/two" would be most appropriate in this case.

3. freud is stalking me.

what if my admirer isn't a "he"? i mean, you know my track record...sibling attracts men, and i attract girls who like girls. (would you believe she is still cackling over thanksgiving? still.)

while we're at it, when SO and i go out, we usually take my car....and he usually drives. so, what if secret admirer thinks my car is really his car, and the note was intended for him. (quite frankly, if this is the case, the admirer needs to improve her stalking skills, as, well, it's pretty obviously my car.)

what if it's not a "secret admirer" note at all? what if it's merely a commentary on the weather? i mean, it's been in the 70s lately, with the exception of yesterday, of course. maybe the author of this note would prefer about six feet of snow right about now?

there's only one way to find out for sure. if you'll excuse me, i have to start scribbling "did you leave me a note yesterday?" on about 1200 pieces of paper in preparation for my late-evening stroll around the parking lot.

this would have been so much easier if they'd just left a number for me not to call.