Tuesday, July 04, 2006

pondering......flames and the 4th

two ideas for possible posts hit me today....one this morning, and one about an hour ago. i actually found myself stopping and thinking about them during the drive home from my movie date, and came to the realization that the two thoughts were actually very much related.....and quite honestly, the whole thing made me a little uncomfortable, so i stopped thinking about it. (sometimes a short attention span and faulty short term memory can be good things.)

it's far easier for me to write the (at least mildly, i hope) amusing stuff than it is to let the mask slip and get all introspective and whatnot. besides, i try to devote only one day each year to introspection....perhaps that's why my birthday is always a little.....i don't know....uncomfortable, maybe?

so, instead, i'm going to devote this post to something mindless instead....

five things i've learned while using the most destructive of elements


1. there is such a thing as a grilled cheese sandwich that's been a little too burnt....and no amount of scraping will help. best to use the newly created charcoal to draw a portrait of yourself while you get someone else to make the sandwich for you.

2. lounging on the couch, less than sober, with someone else who is less than sober and holding a lit cigarette will probably result in a small hole being burned in your favorite shirt....if you're lucky, that's all that will burn.

3. if there's a flame involved, it's probably going to be hot. (i know, i know- hard to believe, but trust me on this one, ok?)

4. i didn't do this one personally (come on, i like to think i have a little common sense), but judging from the yelp i heard at a friend's house one evening back in high school, sometimes lighting one's flatulance on fire can have painful effects.

5. jimi did it first, but the chili peppers did it better.

with that, it's time to take care of some stuff i've been putting off, and then maybe, if i'm feeling up to it, i'll scribble in my journal for a change.....

happy fourth- try not to set anything on fire that shouldn't be......no matter how impressive a flame you think those baked beans and/or chili dogs might produce.

2 comments:

Bite Me said...

I disagree on number 5, I think Jimi's was best, though I like both versions.

chuckawucka said...

How's this for destructive - microwaving an egg. With the shell intact.

I did that once (okay, twice) because I thought that the hot water in the cup was sufficient enough - it was, afterall, completely submerged.

Needless to say, the loud explosion from within the microwave said otherwise.

Atleast the microwave still worked.