Wednesday, August 24, 2005

you searched for what??? (part four)

yes, readers, it's time once again for a round up of some of the bizarre searches folks perform.....and the unsettling way they lead to my blog.

+ lyrics + pencil weenie in elephants clothes

wait a minute- there are actually song lyrics that cover this often overlooked topic? unfortunately, i'm sorry to report the person behind this yahoo search didn't find what they were looking for here.

"Jeremy Piven" "high maintenance"

this was interesting both because of the combination, and because of who was behind the search: (Information Systems U.s. House Of Representatives)
Washington Dc, Washington, United States, 0 returning visits

looks like someone in the government is keeping their eye on one of my favorite actors.

biz markie pepto bismol commercial

was this person more concerned about the former chart-topper, or the product? is there a huge demand for the lyrics to this commercial. (since i've only had two searches for it show up on statcounter, i guess not.)

caffiene's effect on your heart

ah...someone's taking a medical route to my blog. this search came from phoenix, arizona- perhaps a college student writing a paper? a curious sorority girl doing a little research before downing several red bulls?

i'm pleased to see there were 13 other people (14, including the searcher) who can't spell "caffeine". (i always have "i" before "e" issues with that one, myself.)

watch barazilian ass (video search)

once again, one of my typos bumps me up in the rankings. while yahoo found "barazilian" and "watch" in one of my entries, i must point out that the crucial part of this search was absent.

i am still trying to figure out why someone in dubai would search for such a thing, but i assume it's one of those "whatever trips your trigger" sorts of things.

amanda peet's feet

it's happened again- though this is the first time this search has been undertaken on aol. i was the third result, out of 17 pages......if this trend continues, i will soon be at the top of the list. mwahahahahahaha (that's my evil laugh- i know it needs practice.)

believe it or not Im walking on air

yep- it's been done before, and it'll be done again- but this time, it was done by someone at a best buy in minnesota.

guinness book of records biggest booger

wow. i've purposely avoided booger-inspired posts on this blog (well, for the most part, anyway), as it falls under my "no blogging about school" rule......yet somehow, someone looking for a record breaking booger found me instead. even better- i'm the fourth result.

that's it. from now on, i will not resist the urge to write about nasal nuggets during otherwise uninspired evenings. you have been warned.

wild kingdom on wheels

thanks to a comment by mossy stone, i came up fifth on a search that yielded 1,250,000 results.

wnok laptop sales

this was a good one. there was an article in the state newspaper on august 17th about how henrico county, virginia, sold 1,000 used laptops to the public for $50 each (rioting broke out, of course). this article was mentioned on our morning show, which led to folks showing up at the station, faxing their credit card numbers (seriously- one woman actually did this), and calling in constantly in an attempt to get a laptop of their own for $50. i suppose it just goes to show how many folks get their news from the radio. anyway, it seems one industrious soul, not knowing where else to turn, queried yahoo about the matter.......and wound up here.

Carmen Electra: naked photos

once again, folks looking for naked celebrities wind up here. (unless of course, they're looking for ralph fiennes, in which case, they land upon kal's page.)

duff barbie

sweet! no one's officially notified me that this is in the works, but hey- i'll take it. a few things to keep in mind:

*my doll will have a couple of color customizable features: dyeable hair (bring back purple!) and you'll be able to change the bands on the brackets of my braces (currently purple)

*my doll will have adjustable feet- there's no need to force me to teeter around in heels.

*while we're discussing footwear, my doll will come with miniature bouncy adidas (i really need to make that a picture of the day one of these days), miniature tennis-ball airwalks, miniature plaid doc martens, and miniature adidas trail running shoes.

*my doll will not have any sort of holes in her fingers for rings of any sort- especially on that finger.

*...but she will have a variety of swatches for her wrists (one at a time, please)

*like that controversial barbie of yesteryear, my doll will freely admit she sucks at math

*unlike any other barbie, you will be unable to see any sort of makeup on her 364 days of the year. it will only appear of she is dressed up (heels and all) and taken out to some sort of expensive multi-course meal at the melting pot.

other than that, do what you want, mattel.

high maintenance, indeed.


Labbie said...

A) I have an alternative commenting system on my blog to evade the blog spammers. Just enter your name, e-mail is optional, and blog address in "" format so I know it's you.

B) I'd be lost without you.

C) January 14th

duff said...

a) i did that- and it still made me anonymous

b) good call. i suppose that means i should stick around

c) hmm...then you will definitely be too old for me in 75 years

Labbie said...

A) I still know who you are... So it's cool.

B) ;)

C) You're only as old as you feel... And I'm feeling good.

bricotrout said...

HA HA! duff is high maintanence!!
and does amanda peet have amazingly spectacular sexy feet or something? i need to put that phrase on my site and triple my traffic!
i see you had to add the word verification as well. i feel your pain. sad times we live in.
blogspot needs to change the program so that it recognizes when its the registered owner of the site that wishes to leave a comment. i take GREAT offense that i have to word verify for my own site!!

mister mysterio said...

for the record i linked you on my site. the way i see it, instead of me searching all over the internet for crazy things, i only have to come here and youve got links to all things interesting.

also, you owe me royalties for using 'mwahahaha' which i have the rights to. i will accept one american quarter or six canadian loonies.

ltlme said...

Get this one. Someone did a search for: fuck young sister. I came up as number 10. Two down from incest. How lovely.

Labbie said...

I'll be driving to Florida for the Disneyworld Marathon in January... Which way to drive through your neck of the woods, and do you like oreo or M&M McFlurries? :p

Motherdear said...

I have half a mind to create one of those Barbies just for you, duff! It sounds like a winner!!

duff said...

lab boy: i'm working on some sort of a comeback- bear with me.

bricotrout: just wait- it gets weirder.

mysterio: i can come up with six loonies- but you can't have any of my nifty provincial ones- i'm trying to get a full set.

sibling: in a word: ew.

lab boy, again: it's a slight detour off of 95.

will you take me to disneyworld, too?

motherdear: woo-hoo! my doll and i can wear matching shoes! isn't that nauseating?