Friday, August 05, 2005

yee-haw! oh, flush it already

it's another nascar truck race sort of evening, so i have plenty of time to write. yee-haw! (i know at least half of south carolina- the "cultured" half, of course- is currently plopped in a recliner, trying to decide between staying in and listening to the race or attending a showing of dukes of hazzard at a theater near them. again, yee-haw!)

first, my latest inspiration:


to whom it may concern (that means you, my female clear channel coworker):

i don't know who you are, and, quite frankly, i have just slightly too much of a life to stalk you and find out, but you know who you are, and that's what's important.

unfortunately, you also "know" that your shit doesn't stink, and apparently feel the need to leave the fruits of your bathroom labor unflushed, so that your coworkers may marvel at this phenomenon.

i hate to break it to you, but i am not captivated by the sight (and perceived lack of odor) of your crap. next time, send it to a watery grave- the sooner the better.

otherwise, rest assured that i will track down our newspaper-reading male coworker who spends inordinate amounts of time in the can and ask him to take a dump in your cubicle (or office- whichever applies).

thank you for your cooperation.

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in other news, i keep forgetting to blog about an unusual piece of mail that was delivered while i was on vacation. it looked innocent enough, but oh, how easily i was deceived. (check my photo blog for pictures in the next day or two- i'm still trying to catch up with myself.)

all i can say is would you wear a thong mailed to you by the operators of a website you don't recall visiting?

......especially if it says "one size fits all", but looks like it fits star jones.....whom you are not?
......and on the back of this priceless (well, it was free, after all) piece of apparel, it says "oh!"

(ooh- i think i may have found something by googling "oh!" for an interesting link)

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now, if you'll excuse me, i need to go post a note or two in the bathroom.

3 comments:

freewriter said...

perhaps radiofan?

ltlme said...

thanks for the snowglobe. I just found it. Sneaky sister of mine.

duff said...

radiofan has done stranger things. he gave my overnight shift predecessor a belt one time when she was out in public doing an appearance for the radio station.

funny- apparently he told us both (when she held the shift, i was working the same time slot at another station in town) that we were his favorite dj. since she's long since moved out of town, i think i win by default.

however, if he sent me underwear, i doubt he's go with baby blue cotton. he seems more like the frederick's type.