i'm (not) lovin' it (so much)

dear disgruntled mcdonald's employee,

you may not remember me, but i certainly remember you. it's good to see that mcdonald's is an equal opportunity employer, willing to hire even sullen employees too busy checking the stability of their lee press on nails to worry about little things like actually giving me the condiments i actually requested, rather than substituting in whatever you think i should have.

given the late hour, i'm more than willing to cut you some slack. i mean, at 11 at night, i might confuse buffalo sauce (bright orange) with chipotle barbecue (mahogany), but let's keep any personal opinions about my waistline out of this. i mean, i like the balsamic vinaigrette as much as the next girl, but dammit, i wanted my full-o-fat (and pepper) italian dressing to add that certain special, artery clogging, je ne sais quois to my side salad.

despite the fact that you were obviously not lovin' it this evening, i'll continue to support my stock and stuff myself full of greasy fries at your place of work. however, if you screw my order up again, rest assured that you'll wind up smelling like balsamic vinaigrette for at least a week.

sincerely,
~duff