Saturday, October 28, 2006

"so- where you from?"

i've had a couple of rather interesting little bulletins show up on myspace lately. i briefly considered passing them on via bulletin, but that'd only cause more important bulletins like "naughty sex survey", "would u do me?", and "who do u like?" to scroll off of your pages that much faster, and i hate to deprive you of such quality entertainment. (for the record, since i didn't bother to pass any of those on, either, my answers, in no particular order are: "u, of course", "only if i took up drinking heavily and mistook u for val kilmer", and "57.5".)*

besides, since most of my random musings readers lack myspaces (or won't admit to having them, anyway), this way i can share these little tidbits with everyone, without having to leave any readers out.

yep, i'm feeling a bit lazy. it happens....sort of like having zits at 28. pass the clearasil when you're done with it, kiddo.

anyway, both of these items were of a rather geographical nature (what are the bets that at least one of my readers is deprived enough to have somehow read that as "pornographical" which, naturally, would be more than just "pornographic"...or something like that.), and i figure maybe 4 or 5 of you could relate to each. everyone else can just shake their heads and mumble something about my friends having way too much time on their hands.

or, if you're really lazy like i am today, you can simply hit ctrl-c and ctrl-v and a few keys in between and copy it all for an easy post on your blog:

you know you are from KC when... know that Kansas City is actually two cities in two states, Kansas and Missouri, and you make sure people know which one you're from.

... if you live on the Kansas side, you think Missouri drivers are pokey and frustrating. If you live on the Missouri side, you think Kansas drivers are crazy and erratic.

... your airport is known as KCI (Kansas City International Airport) yet, the airport code is MCI.

... you tell visitors that your city is the "City of Fountains" and they look at you blankly because no one outside of the city has EVER heard it called that, even though we do have over 200 fountains sprinkled throughout the city.

... you've given the following answers: "Yes, we have tornados." "No, I don't know Dorothy."

... you whined through the 90's about Marty Ball and now wish he was back so the Chiefs could just make the playoffs.

... you Christmas shop at the Plaza and ice skate at Crown Center in the winter.

... you know better than to try and drive through "the triangle" at rush hour.

... you know Leawood sucks.

... you've had a skyscraper at Windsteads.

... you remember how awesome Ward Parkway used to be, and now complain that you have to go to Town Center

... you've barhopped in Westport.

... you brag about having the only WWI memorial in the nation, but neglect to tell people it looks like a cock and balls.

... you've ridiculed the giant shuttlecock sculptures on the lawn of the Nelson Atkins Museum of Art to your local friends, but defended them to out-of-towners.

... you have ever defended Dick Vermeil for being such a cry baby.

... you've bragged to others how close you live to the Meth capital of the world, but thank God its still far away enough to not make you feel white trash.

... you think Johnson County folks are a bit pretentious (even if you are one).'ve had Brian Busby come to your school to talk about Weather.

... you've gotten in a fight in gradeschool over the MU/KU allegiance.

... you know who Tech N9ne is, and freak out during "We reppin KCMO, the fellas and the ladies know"

... the term "the Dot" itself has made you laugh.

... you know where the Appleby's house is.

... and George Brett's house.

... you brag you're from the Missouri side.

... you keep the fact that you're from KCK a secret.

... you're driving directions always involve Ward Parkway or State Line or I-35 or I-435

... Wyandotte County confuses the hell out of you.

... you're mad because Nebraska Furniture Mart used to delivery to Kansas City for free, all the way from Omaha, but now that they have a big new NFM store right here in KC, you have to pay for delivery.

... you think that every year is the year the Chiefs will win it all.

... you've spent many a day riding rides and eating park food at Worlds of Fun.

... you've watched the American Royal parade and rodeo and sampled BBQ at the annual cookoff.

... you know that KC has a jazz district down at 18th and Vine, even if you've never been there.

... you can't find a steak worthy of your pallette outside of KC.

... you know that if you don't get to Suicide Hill by 8 AM, you're gonna get nothing but dirt.

... you know the name Buck O'Neil needs to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame....NOW.

... you know that Union Station wasn't always so lame.

... you have had some of the best BBQ ever... from a gas station.

... one of your guilty pleasures is Go Chicken Go, despite how disgusting it really is.

... you've eaten a meal that was delivered to you by a model train.

.. regardless if you're from the suburban wannabe KC area, you still tell people from out of town you're from KC; and that's because it sounds so much worse to say you're from Shawnee Mission, Leawood, Overland Park, Liberty, Harrisonville, Belton, Blue Springs, Lee's Summit, Mission Hills, Olathe, Odessa, Longview, Grandview, Raytown, Merriam, Riverside, Kearney, De Soto, Fairway, Gladstone, Excelsior, Leavenworth, Ottawa, Prairie Village, Raymore, Bonner Springs (hahahahaha), Parkville, Tonganoxie, Unity Village(~do people actually live in Unity Village??), Westwood, Peculiar, or Riverside. I mean come on, how lame is that?

... you and your friends have been talking about stealing a 69 South sign for years.

... you are wary of "Flush" Creek.

... you still call it Sandstone.

... you think Windsteads craps all over Steak and Shake in Quality and Taste.

... you've celebrated the turning on of Christmas lights with about 100,000 other drunk people... every year.

... you take the back way to Kauffman/Arrowhead by passing by LC's Barbeque.

... you've drank at Loose Park at night. (~no thanks, I don't wanna get shot!!)

... you went to Knights of Columbus dances.

... you know that fireworks sustain Riverside. (~they also have cheap cigarettes)

... it can take you up to 45 minutes to get to a friends house, without traffic.

... one word: Comets.

... you know who the "Nigerian Nightmare" is.

... you know Manny.

... you set off enough fireworks to blow up China every year on the fourth of July, even though all the news stations remind you "they're cracking down this year."

... you went to Waldo Pizza/Imo's/Uno's before a dance.

... you know the following numbers: 648-8888 and 321-2277 (and can sing the accompanying songs).

... you spent a full day learning how life works at Exchange City.

... you remember running through the Crown Center fountains as a kid.

... you've stood in line for hours to buy a dual pass for The Edge of Hell and The Beast and complained about how bad the Beast sucked afterwards

... you've been to Kaleidoscope (and still want to go back).

... you've have personally seen Beetlejuice put a rat in his mouth or lick your car window.

... when you are describing an upscale part of town in a different city to your KC friends, you refer to it as "Johnson County".

and now, for the interactive portion of today's post:

Start with 100 and take off 5 of each question that you answer NO to. The higher the percentage the more of a South Carolinian you are!

1) Do you like sweet tea? yes

2) Do you get dressed up to go tailgating for a football game? no

3a) (Girls) Do you wear you're pearls with jeans? no

3b) (guys) Do you own more than 10 hats but only wear 1?

4) Have you ever gone to the Carolina cup? no

5) Have you even been "muddin"? no

6) Have you ever spent a day at "the river"? no

7) Do you own anything with the tree and moon on it? no

8) Do you love Boiled Peanuts? no

9) Have you ever been to some county festival (i.e. Okra strut, peach festival, water festival)? no

10) Have you ever been to the "market" in Charleston? yes

11) Have you spent at least one night partying in 5 points? yes

12) Have you heard of Shealy's bbq? yes

13) Have you ever spent a night at Myrtle Beach? yes

14) Do you eat grits on a regular basis? no

15) Have you eaten at a waffle house more than once a week? no

16) Do you still use sir/ma'am, please and thank you on a daily basis? yes

17) Do you know at least part of "the shag"? no

18) Have you ridden in the back of a pickup truck? yes

19) Do you say the word "y'all" all the time? only because i watched the "beverly hillbillies" a little too often during my formative years

20) Do you still have that southern charm? whether or not i'm actually charming is debatable.

woo-hoo! after six years here, i'm only roughly 35% south carolinian. there may be hope for me yet......


dheninger said...

you failed to include lenexa in the cities-lol- you listed and the "triangle" isnt the name anymore--its the 3 trails crossing since its been redone. i am not sure about unity village-- i thinks its got something to do with religion

mr_g said...

My soon-to-be-ex father-in-law lives in KC, he'd love this. I'd forward this to him, but....