Saturday, June 25, 2005

dinner and a show

on my way home from work last night, i witnessed something so odd i almost had to pull into the parking lot. (well, not really- my need for sleep outweighed my need to satisfy my curiousity.)

i was driving home after the truck race (yee haw!) around 11:30. traffic was pretty light, so i had an unobstructed view of columbia's nudie bar on my route to the highway. usually, the only interesting sights there involve an alarming number of minivans and a stretch suv or two. however, last night i saw a different sort of vehicle.

you would think that with all of the patrons at these sorts of entertainment venues, food would be provided. as i recall, the one time i set foot in such an establishment (no- i was not there for amateur night or anything like that), there were chicken wings and nachos being delivered to tables. most places advertise their buffet and grill amenities.....mostly the buffet, though. (which i personally would never touch. i mean, are sneeze guards really enough in that sort of a place? i think i'll take up fasting instead. thanks.)

i guess someone else was of the same opinion as i, because as i drove by, chinese food was being delivered to the strip club.

which leads me to wonder- did the driver have to pay a cover charge?

what if strip joints offered takeout? would anyone take advantage of such a service? how many poor shlubs would order hamburgers and pizzas, hoping that one of the girls would pull up with their food? am i the only one who wonders about this kind of stuff?

in semi-related news, there was a blurb in the newspaper last week about two "entertainers" getting into a fight at the club a couple of block from the radio station. i don't recall what exactly started the fight, but it ended with both girls being told to go home and one tackling the other in the establishment's parking lot.

in unrelated news, the phones have been eerily quiet. my fan must be on vacation or something. (sorry to disappoint, digi- but i'll keep working on it.)

2:30 p.m. update: guess who was just on the other end of the phone line.

this was an uncharacteristically tame conversation for him. perhaps we'll have something truly priceless tomorrow.

16 comments:

ltlme said...

why were you at a truck race? Your neck's not getting red is it?
....you getting on aim?

Larry said...

I actually ate at one the week after my split with the wife. I know I must not have been thinking clearly, but, I was still in frame of mind not to order anything with mayo.

If you are going to eat anything order it from the kitchen.

duff said...

sibling;no, no, no- i was pushing buttons at the radio station so our commercials would play during a truck race being broadcast via satellite.

you will not catch me at a truck race ever.

unless that's where val wants to go on our date, of course....and only if he promises to make it worth my while.

larry: tell me about the one in west virginia- i was an excuse to make a comment i thought of when you first mentioned it.

ltlme said...

your radio station plays truck races?

ltlme said...

don't tell me that you guys also stream church services on sundays.

Digitalicat said...

It's always a good day when we have an obsessed caller clip.

I'm curious. Many of your listeners know about the station's web page, right? And one might go to the station's page and scope out your little corner of the site, right? And on your little corner of the site is a link to this blog, right?

Have you considered the possibility that obsessed caller might one day see us picking on him, fly into an unhinged rage, and storm down to the station looking for you?

Larry said...

Okay, short version of the west virginia strip club story. My friend who was with me had the only decent looking dancer in private all night(she will be refered to as schnozy, HUGE nose) that left me sitting at the bar with Grandma Stripper("When I was your age, everyone wanted a private dance." You are about 20 years removed from my age and I don't) Snaggletooth McStripsalot(I can only do this part of the story visually) a couple of cattle(not kidding, there were 2 dancers that had to be at least 300 pounds) the redneck regulars and the bartender(she was the best looking one in the place and completely clothed). I walked into that bar with $17.50 in my pocket and a credit card ready for a tab if necessary. I walked out with $17.50 in my pocket and a credit card still without a balance. To make matters worse, my buddy comes out of the private area for a few moments to buy drinks, hears grandma complaining and buys a dance...FOR ME.

*shuddering*

I kept my eyes averted and tried to think of anything but what was dancing for me.

Are you happy now? I am going to have to call my therapist. Thanks.

.: raven :. said...

"I'm curious. Many of your listeners know about the station's web page, right? And one might go to the station's page and scope out your little corner of the site, right? And on your little corner of the site is a link to this blog, right?

Have you considered the possibility that obsessed caller might one day see us picking on him, fly into an unhinged rage, and storm down to the station looking for you?"

i was going to just post this EXACT thing when i was reading other comments before posting my own. i would be worried too.

other than that .. digi .. get out of my head.

duff said...

kiddo: actually, it's the sports station in our cluster that runs the races- not 'nok.

the church services are left to the talk radio and country stations. we're too busy runnning american top 40, with ryan seacrest.

digi and raven: no need to worry about me. my fan doesn't have any sort of internet access, the door to the station has a multidigit code on it, and i'm never alone in the building.

that said, i will use restraint....but still post selected calls, ok?

larry: i was going to make some sort of inbreeding joke, but i'm too busy giggling about your lap dance.

Kunstemæcker said...

Damn, I think that's a great idea: strip joints offering take out.

That's a hole in the market. I see piles and piles of money. Let's do business Duff

duff said...

hmmmm...okay- but my clothes are staying on.

i will, however, take orders over the phone.....or i could cook. i can hold my own in the kitchen.

(wait- that's didn't sound quite right......)

Digitalicat said...

Get out of your head, Kate? Where, oh where, would you prefer me to be?

Post as much of your obsessed caller as you like. I love those. Just keep that in mind, right? We're kind of growing attached to you.

duff said...

why do you think i post them, digi?

i'm getting a bit attached, myself.....so don't pull a citrus on me and disappear, okay?

Mossy Stone said...

He's definitely a piece of work. I wonder if he and Larry's "yokels" know one another?

Larry said...

They are probably from the same family. As i understand it most of them are either Hatfields or McCoys. (Ohhh, I have another post if I don't forget. Keywords: Hatfields and McCoys)

sojourning crow said...

duff, how did you know that the food was being delivered to a patron and not to the management?? hmmm...something's amiss...