Monday, September 25, 2006

they're lovers, not biters, so why do i itch?

they looked like happy little lovebugs.

those aren't two headed bugs up there....they're just, uh, temporarily siamese twins. (i love having to make up euphemisms, just in case there are any innocent little eyes reading this.)

it seems to be mating season for these critters down here in florida. when i was down here a couple of months ago, these bugs were nowhere to be found, but they seem to be making up for it now. in fact, there were swarms of them when we arrived a few days ago (on friday, to be exact).

initially, we thought they were pretty innocent. i mean, sure- they'd fly up to you in positions clearly drawn from a certain illustrated ancient indian text, but you'd brush them off, and then you'd have a good 30 seconds or so before the next amorous pair decided your body was the perfect setting for their libidinous lovebug lambada.

i wondered why i was so itchy. i mean, i hadn't seen a single mosquito, yet somehow i kept getting bug bites....and when i get bitten, the welts tend to swell, and not just because i'm constantly scratching them.

come to find out, one of my companions had a conversation yesterday with a florida native who informed him that the bugs are harmless....unless you squish them, in which case they release a toxin which- you guessed it- irritates the skin.

aha! perhaps i have not been so gentle in my bug-brushing after all.

this, paired with the fact that i'd carefully packed my razor in a plastic bag and then left it in my bathroom, which translated to having stubble on my legs that most eighteen year old boys would envy*, means i'll be sporting jeans in the 90 degree weather.

*come to think of it, maybe the last few weren't squished- they'd accidentally impaled themselves on my leg hair.


Labbie said...

You lost me at "leg hair."

duff said...

sorry, labbie. hope i haven't scarred you for life, my dear.