Saturday, December 24, 2005

do i get extra frequent flyer miles for this?

hello from maine. have you ever landed on an unplowed runway? it was only a small part of yesterday's adventure in the air.....and one of the better parts, at that.

somewhere, in the recesses of my inbox, i have a copy of that letter that was written awhile back to one of the airlines by a very disgruntled passenger who was fortunate enough to wind up seated across from the airplane bathroom.

i now understand completely.

the trip to the airport yesterday was pretty uneventful, and i managed to get my tickets without much incident- despite never actually finding my official itinerary, which i'm sure will be the first thing i spot upon my return to kansas city columbia. (i've traveled a little too much lately. i figure it'll take me a couple of months to figure out whether i'm coming or going.) i even made it through security pretty easily...well, after i got out of line and retrieved the polo sweatshirt i'd dropped down the hall. contrary to what i was told, not every passenger was getting the full pat down. (to be perfectly honest, i was a little disappointed- i mean, what's a girl gotta do to get felt up these days?)

anyway, i set up camp near an outlet (the better to charge my computer, my dear) and commenced entering avon orders into the computer. (i'm trying to reduce the piles at home while on vacation. it's part of my "getting organized during avon downtime" kick.)

anyway, we finally boarded about forty five minutes later, and as i waddled down the aisle with my worldly possessions, i double-checked my ticket against the row numbers. there were thirteen rows on the plane, yet i was seated in row 14. just as i was about to turn around and ask the stewardess if i should've grabbed a ladder and set up camp on the tail, i realized there was no thirteenth row.

i guess the folks at delta were a little superstitious.

after stowing my backpack and claiming my window seat (yes, i could actually look out the window, doug), i noticed we were right across from the throne. this was also pointed out by the stewardess, who cheerfully told my seatmate and me not to worry if the door opened during takeoff, as "it's a little loose".

i'm not worried about takeoff...i'm worried about sitting down for a quick "meeting in the office" and suddenly finding myself meeting with...well, other people.

thank goodness i followed mama's advice and went before leaving home.

the door remained stable during takeoff, but we weren't so lucky during landing.

i'd always thought that complaint letter was a little harsh, but now i understand. it's been so long since my last trip to an airplane bathroom that i'd forgotten that they generally aren't rose-scented, but assuming everyone flushes, it shouldn't be a terribly big deal, right?

after the door flew open during landing, i could only come to the conclusion that someone didn't flush...and, since the only person brave enough to use the bathroom the entire flight was the stewardess.......

but, perhaps my thinking was a little clouded by the green fog. i thought about having a brief discussion on the matter with my seatmate, but he was too busy using his shirt to filter the air, and talking would have required me to actually breathe, which i was trying desperately not to do.

in some odd way, sitting next to the screaming baby on my second flight was a vast improvement.

sibling arrives today. i'm sure my flight story will top hers...absolutely. sure. of. it.


Jo said...

I like sitting by the window and looking out too. I feel rather uncomfortable with the whole flight experience unless I can see what's happening.....
PS: You turned your word verification off???

.: raven :. said...

..:: Merry Christmas ::..


..:: Happy New Year ::..



Joefish said...

"to be perfectly honest, i was a little disappointed- i mean, what's a girl gotta do to get felt up these days?"

Sometimes the jokes just tell themselves, don't they?

Happy holiday, duff.

Labbie said...

Hey, Feliz Navidad, Duff! Or is it "Fleece" Navidad? At any rate, guess what I got for Christmas?! That's right, Spudtrooper!

bricotrout said...

"whats a girl gotta do to get felt up these days?" lol
sounds like times are tough at duffs place. did you get that pony?