Sunday, April 29, 2007

too much information

am i the only one who's noticed a rather alarming trend at my local gas station? there i was, minding my own business last week, trying to top off my tank (and by "top off", i mean "put in just enough to get the little red needle back above "e""), when suddenly, i heard a tinny-sounding semi-masculine voice behind me.

i had the bosses' kids in the car at the time, and they were nearly as startled as i was. (i'm proud to report that the car seat has almost completely dried out- who knew those liners could be so darned absorbent?)

it took me a few seconds (about the time the voice started telling me about some fabulous specials the gas station was offering on "the necessities: bud light bottles, hot dogs, and tampax") to realize what was going on, and a fraction of another second to whip my head around and notice the handy "mute" button on the speaker box.

i thought the experience was just a fluke, but then SO and i stopped for gas before heading off on a local hike (there's a 2-mile trail at sesquicentennial state park, which we hiked twice), and this time, he was the one who jumped. however, instead of the voice coming from a small box with a mute button, some sort of motion sensor had been rigged to a speaker on the corner of the quikie-mart's roof. the effect was something akin to that scene in "real genius" where kent can't figure out the origin of the voices he's hearing and becomes convinced that he's having a conversation with god.

except that it was a very one sided conversation.

and i lean more towards atheism, myself.

and i'm pretty sure that god wouldn't play bad gangsta rap and tell me about the specials his quickie-mart was running on "the necessities" (that'd be bud light, hot dogs, and trojan 12-packs, for you folks who've been deprived of these sorts of experiences.)

so, it's not enough to get cemmercials on the radio, in my magazines, popping up while i'm downloading porn (kidding)- i can't even stop by the gas station without being prodded to buy more crap i don't need?

what's next? voices in public restrooms, besides just the folks who wander in, talking on their cell phones?

i can hardly wait to wander into a public restroom, settle in and hear, "let me tell you about some of the fabulous specials we're running on the necessities: bud light, hot dogs........."


Kal said...

Friggin' world's getting more and more like Blade Runner every day...

Callie said...

Well, I suppose the sound of commercials would be better than some of the bodily function sounds coming from the next stall, but still . . .

duff said...

kal: i need to see that movie. when's the next screening at your place?

ps- i'm surprised you commented on this, and not the post below.

callie: that's going to give me nightmares tonight- i can already tell.....