Sunday, April 08, 2007

friends, romans, easter bunnies, lend me your ear

it's easter, and i have not had one tiny little nibble of chocolate. what's wrong with this picture?

sadly, i have not had one little nibble of a taco, either, because as SO discovered on his lunch run (is it still "lunch" if you're eating it at 4:45?), the employees of taco bell must be sleeping off a sugar coma somewhere, as no one was manning the drive-thru when he made his usual sunday stop.

i am so distraught that i may be forced to console myself with a dozen 50% off (would that make it a half-dozen?) cadbury creme eggs after my hot date with the hunky orthodontist tomorrow morning.

ahhh...creme eggs. just thinking about their creamy (creme-y?) goodness is almost enough to make me bounce off the walls. (perhaps that energy would be better spent on the treadmill here at clear channel's state-of-the-art fitness cubicle center, but that would take some motivation that i do not currently possess.)

speaking of eggs, i seriously contemplated scanning in an article from the woodlawn, md, local newspaper from roughly 20 years ago, when yours truly was photographed (in all my nerdish glory, no less) with my first prize ever- a chocolate bunny i was given after finding one of the golden eggs at the parks & rec annual egg hunt. (was it a coincidence that mama helped hide the eggs that year? of course!)

however, the sight of myself in glasses that i'm pretty sure were bigger than my entire face is just too much to behold with the naked eye. i mean, you don't go outside and stare at the sun during a solar eclipse, do you? of course not! you haul out a shoebox and a couple of mirrors and a nail to poke a hole in the shoebox with, just like they advise you to in the newspaper about a week beforehand, right?

well, unless you have that same shoebox/mirror contraption handy, i'm afraid your vision might be irreparably damaged by the sight of such a vision (no pun intended....or at least not a big one, anyway), and therefore i'm really looking out for your best interests by not scanning it in.

(that sounds so much better than simply admitting that the only time i can ever seem to find my copy of the photo is mid-august, when there's positively no reason whatsoever for me to need to scan it in or at the very least move it to a spot where i'll be able to find it roughly eight months later.)

which reminds me- i can't seem to find my easter basket, either. this means that in addition to a serious lack of chocolate in my apartment (and if the easter bunny's waiting for that 50% off sale on cadbury creme eggs, let me just point out that i should be justified in anticipating getting twice as much chocolate in my basket), i am being deprived of the joy of plucking little strands of plastic easter grass off of the furniture and carpet. can you feel the deprivation here?

seriously, can you?

i'll be sure to leave an empty basket by my front door, lest you feel inclined to cheer me up with chocolate and/or tacos.*

*and if you folks lucky enough to live near a taco john's want to combine the two and bring me a choco taco or two, i certainly won't complain.

3 comments:

Stef said...

Taco Johns should just go national (or at least to SC and OK)... no use in Wyoming in having all the fun, now is it?

danny said...

is there anything in this world greater than a cadbury creme egg?

I didn't think so.

duff said...

stef: i ahdn't realized there weren't any taco john's in oklahoma. no wonder you moved.

danny: actually, the cadbury caramel eggs are pretty damned delightful, too....especially the day after easter, when they're 4/$1