Friday, August 18, 2006

the eagle has landed...with a thud

actually, i flew us airways today- do they have a mascot?

i know it's been awhile since i last posted here (or on random photos, for that matter), but, well, sometimes blogging isn't my highest priority. in fact, it falls somewhere between obsessively checking my list of friends on myspace to see if i'm "popular" yet and trying to keep the puppy at work out of my underwear. (yeah- let's come back to that in a moment, shall we?)

at any rate, i'm actually operating on central time at the moment, though i'm too lazy to change the setting in the upper right hand corner. as you may have figured out, i'm in town for the big reunion.

in case you're wondering, no, i still haven't figured out what "bar attire" means. i packed a pair of jeans, my favorite skirt/short things (see profile picture with stitch), and i think the jean shorts i sported today will be put to use again during my stay.i haven't worked out exactly which ensemble to go with, though i'm leaning toward the outfit at left, mostly because the shirt matches my favorite pair of tennis shoes, which i've been wearing in an effort to protect my broken toe.

(yes- you read that right. i wiped out my fourth toe on my right foot last night when, as i was wandering around the apartment barefoot while packing, i walked straight into one of SO's cast iron dumbbells, which i seriously doubt get touched except by my dainty, delicate toes. surprisingly, for possibly the first time ever, "fuck" was not uttered, screamed, or even mumbled.)

however, the downside of the skirt/short plan is that the battle wound on my right knee would be fully visible.

ah yes- i never got around to blogging about that on monday, did i? well, i suppose i should get you caught up while i'm at it.

monday morning, i had to pry my butt out of bed at a rather obscene hour so i could keep my hot date (not really, but it's fun to pretend) with my hunky orthodontist. after a couple of hours of quality time, albeit mostly with the hygienist, as well as six brackets, a new top wire, and (brace yourself) a set of "chains", i headed off to work. however, it was not long before i realized that i wasn't going to get back over to the right side of town without some gas. normally, this would not be an issue, i'd just whip out the credit card, and be on my merry way.

however, the credit card is still cooling off after the trip to disneyworld, so i'd taken it out of my wallet, leaving me with...well....approximately 45 cents in change. given the current gas prices, i think i could have bought half a whiff of fumes with that money.

fortunately, SO was at work, mere minutes from HO (hunky orthodontist), so i made a little detour so i could bat the baby blues and sweet talk him out of a couple of bucks.

five minutes later, hamilton in hand, i pulled into the nearest, most reasonably priced gas station. i scampered in to prepay for my gas, and then scampered back out to my car, where i inserted the nozzle and then started to make my way toward the windshield washing station.

unfortunately, the most direct way to get from my car to said window washing station involved stepping over the hose i'd just inserted into my car. for most people, this isn't a problem. however, i am not most people. i am short. i am less than coordinated. most of all, i was overdue for some sort of klutzy incident.

i'm sure the gas station's video cameras captured my moment of grace. i half stepped, half tripped over the hose, and fluttered to the ground like a leaf. well, maybe "fluttered" isn't quite the word for it. however, the bruise is faint and the knee-skinning wounds camouflage the fact that i totally missed my knee the last time i shaved, so i suppose it worked out okay after all.

i'm pleased to report that this evening's landing was far smoother, but perhaps that was because i was in no way responsible for it.


Bite Me said...

I'm due for a big crash, it's been a while. The last time though I was attacked by wolverines so it wasn't really my fault.

Motherdear said...

Poor lil duffster! You sound like me! I crash into someting on a daily basis, mostly because my legs don't work right but partially because my house is a minefield of extreta, plotting to git me at every turn, in every room.

SO should move said dumbbells off the traffic pattern, no? Just one old broad's thought...

Anyway, whatever you wear to drunk night...uh, I mean cocktail'll look adorable! And the bandaid will serve to reinforce that you haven't changed a bit since high school!

Labbie said...

"Five minutes later, hamilton in hand..." What exactly went on for five minutes to warrant a hamilton?

I've had six brackets, a new top wire, and a set of chains installed once... On my Jeep! My God, woman, are you sure you went to the orthodontist? Or are you a Jeep?

Whatever you wear, you'll look pretty cute. ;)