Tuesday, November 21, 2006

on hiking and hooligans......

i’m pleased to report that my noggin was weird al- free today. instead, it was occupied mostly with “i’m on my way” by inxs, especially when running back to the car after visiting the “ceremonial cave” at bandelier national monument, just northwest of santa fe, new mexico. (no, i haven’t suddenly discovered the joy of sprinting- i lost track of time while climbing ladders to get to the cave and wound up needing to cover a mile in about 5 minutes. unfortunately, the only way i’ll ever do a five minute mile will be on the back of some sort of fast-moving animal.)

while i had to scrap my initial plan, which was to tackle a five-mile hike to a pair of waterfalls in the canyon, i still managed to wander a couple of miles.....and still wound up a little winded while climbing ladders to get to the cave. (honey, start warming up that treadmill for me, okay?)

we just passed a billboard advertising acne cures and tattoo erasures. if you opt for both, do you get some sort of discount? not that i’m seriously asking, mind you. well, not for myself anyway. however, if britney spears was foolish to tattoo anything even vaguely related to her soon to be ex on her person, i’d be more than happy to scribble down the number for her.

which reminds me- during the flight to kansas city last week, i read an article in people magazine about how kevin federline was now boasting about his newfound single status to practically every breathing female he could find. i suppose i should be surprised that no one seems to be banging down his door. did paris hilton not get the memo, or has she developed standards? what sort of a blow is it to a guy’s self esteem to find out that not even paris hilton is willing to make out with you? then again, maybe she caught a preview of that sex tape he seems to think folks might actually be interested in (well, actually, i should probably take that back, since i know people who would, though it most certainly would not be because of kevin’s starring role.) and wasn’t exactly impressed.

let me do you a favor, kevin- don’t bother knocking on my door. even if i were actually home for once, the thought of your lazy, golddigging butt showing up in columbia doesn’t exactly give me the urge to slip into something more comfortable....unless you consider a chastity belt and a nun’s habit comfortable, that is.

weird al, on the other hand, i’d consider.

1 comment:

Agent Chuckawucka said...

Haha, Hilton's become the threshold for male-uberfugness: if she won't sleep with them, then you KNOW something's wrong with the guy.