i'm a frequent flyer, but apparently, my suitcase is not.

i've got the only two lines i know from "running up that hill" by kate bush running through my head. i'm not quite sure why. i mean, of all the songs i ripped into my computer last night, why that one? why not "hot hot hot!!!" by the cure?

but you didn't come here to read about music, did you? of course not! you came for mystery, drama, intrigue, and/or (more likely) the latest chapter in the reality sitcom that is my life. (without the scrpt, live studio audience, videocameras and, quite often, the sidesplittingly comedic moments. come to think of it, perhaps i should come up with a better term for it.....)
anyway, i am pleased to report that i made it to kansas city without incident.

well, without too much incident.

incident #1: cell phone guy behind me on the plane who called no fewer than four friends during the five minutes before takeoff. thanks to his inability to speak softly, i now know far more about him, his freinds, his girlfriend, and his fondness for booze than i ever thought necessary. all i can say is that if he gives in and goes barhopping with his girlfriend tomorrow night, i sincerely hope they call a cab.

incident #2: the suitcase i so carefully packed in the half hour between "honey, we need to get going" and "honey, we need to leave right this minute or else the plane will take off without you", along with the suitcases of approximately half of the other passengers on my plane, somehow stayed behind in charlotte. i'm still not completely clear on how this happened. i mean, it was a direct flight. pretty much all that needed to be done was for one of the handlers to pick up the bright orange bag (not an easy feat, since i outdid myself and it tipped the scales at 39.1 lbs) and put it on the plane. i'm thinking maybe they shouldn't have called in the second string of baggage handlers this evening. i mean, how do you not notice the full cart of luggage standing next to the half-empty plane? then again, i suppose it's an understandable mistake, especially if you spent your entire shift cruising around the airport in your luggage cart, trying to get that puppy up to 65 mph...which is most certainly the reason why i would not be a very productive baggage handler.*

anyway, after coming to the realization that my bright orange bag would not be falling off the conveyor belt anytime soon, i joined the herd heading for the baggage office. (at this point, shaun would surely say, "not going anywhere for awhile?", mimicing the snickers ads.....which usually elicits a chuckle from me, followed by the observation that i'm more of a milky way kind of girl.....or hershey's dark. one of the easiest ways to win me over is with dark chocolate.....but i'm digressing again, and making myself hungry, to boot.....)

one of the guys in front of me was highly cranky about his lost luggage. he ranted. he raved. he even stomped his foot and swore, but i think that was mostly for dramatic effect. the most interesting thing about the situation was that his situation was his own fault (left his luggage on a plane and suddenly needed it rightthissecond), yet he was trying to tear the folks at the counter a new one, because they wouldn't chase down his bag and have it waiting on his doorstep ("i live in omaha, dammit!") by the time he drove up there this evening.

i think i understand why the guy wasn't wearing any sort of wedding ring...and judging from his demeanor, he wasn't exactly likely to pick up any chicks (or guys- whatever) with his sparkling personality anytime soon, either.

i'd say he was a tough act to follow, but heck, i might give stand up comedy another thought if i could be guaranteed that he'd warm up the crowd for me each time.

i bounded up to the counter, and as soon as i was acknowledged, said, "hi. i've got a rather unusual problem for you. it seems that i made it here from charlotte, but my luggage did not."

i rattled off of the pertinent information (name, addresses, phone numbers, my picks for this weekend's powerball drawing), and ended with "it looks like bag #22, except it's bright orange."

i was actually thanked for being so upbeat about the situation, to which there was really only one reply:

"i figured that after that last guy, you needed to talk to someone in a better mood.i mean, it's not your fault he forgot his bag....nor is it your fault the folks in charlotte didn't realize that the plane was only half full."

that earned me another thank you from the folks behind the counter, as well as the last one, in response to my hopes that they'd have a good night.

so, where's my gold star? :)

unfortunately, this time, i packed all of my underwear in one place- my suitcase. so, i suppose perhaps i'll reenact the inside-out underwear mishap of last week and head over to vickie's secret tomorrow in search of more undies. (wouldn't you know it- my coupon for a free pair is taped to our door at home. figures.)

*seriously. remember that episode of "tales from the crypt" where brad pitt was kind of evil and drag raced the hunkyish older actor whose name escapes me? picture that with luggage carts on the runway.......