Wednesday, February 15, 2006

year 2, post 1

i didn't think i'd have time to post tonight, but i'm waiting on a phone call from one of my avon helpers, so, well...here i am.

i suppose i should do a little housekeeping (of the virtual sort- the towering heap of clean laundry shall remain untouched until at least tomorrow morning).

first order of business: the pick up line contest

due to a shortage of entries, we'll skip the voting and i'll just share with you what was submitted in the comments section. bear in mind i cannot promise any of these will yeild any sort of results, aside from perhaps a drink in the face, but they might be fun to add to your repertoire:

from m:

If I told U , U had a beautiful body, would U hold it against me?...

"hey... didnt we work together?..."

"ah....U've got something on your lip..."....waits for response "what, where?" Moves in for the kill..."right here"...puts finger on lip...offers to remove offending item"......

"Are you tired?....U look tired..."
"because you've been running thru my mind all day"....

"do you have a little italian in U?"....."well how 'bout me"....

and from kep:

One of my husband's college roommates actually used to say, "Hey sugar titties, you'll be coming home with me tonight!" and girls would DO IT. Amazing. That one sure wouldn't work on me, no matter how drunk I was or who it was!

and, finally, one from joanne, who openly admits it's a little lame:

"You look familiar. Do I know you?"

some of my favorites are strangely absent:

"i may not be fred flintstone, but i'd sure like to make your bed rock"

"your daddy must be a terrorist, cause you da bomb!" (never mind- that one was much funnier before 9/11. now i'm sure the government is going to watch me a lot more closely, since i mentioned the "t" word.)

hmmm...guess i need to dig up my list next time i'm in kansas city.
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valentine's day loot report:

*books
*clothing
*the 40-year old virgin
*a new answering machine

ah, yes....i know you're saying to yourself, "wow- that SO sure is romantic."

*snickering*

actually, the first three items on the list happened a couple of weekends ago while we were out and about and i kept finding things i liked, and the last item happened yesterday, when my answering machine, a relic from the middle of my college career *sigh* let out a dying gasp in an odd chipmunk sort of voice. (for the record, it actually sounded like one of the chipettes.) my ever thoughtful SO, upon realizing that i had an avon order this evening, and therefore, would be expecting a few phone calls, ran out to the store and bought me a new and (maybe) improved machine. (visual aids to follow- i'm too lazy to upload the photos from my camera this evening.)

yeah, he's good like that.

oh- and daddy bought my disneyworld tickets yesterday, so i guess the timing makes that a bit of a valentine's day gift, too. (look for me exiting the haunted mansion and getting right back in line again repeatedly at the end of july.)

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i finally made it to the treadmill today. i've been getting to bed earlier lately, and waking up earlier, and finally made it over to the workout room, discman in hand. (today's selection: a cd of "punk" bands covering 80s tunes...lovely.)

the horrible sight of my thighs in a spandex blend is enough to make me go again in the morning....which means i should probably head for bed (the new answering machine can catch the phone call for me, if need be) so maybe it won't take a few sticks of dynamite and a percussion cap to wake me up in the morning.

so, on that note.....goodnight.

4 comments:

Joefish said...

Sugar titties. I am so trying that one.

I'll let you know how it works out just as soon as the bruises heal enough for me to sit up again.

Footprint said...

I know that some distant day I am going to be reading the paper about this woman who has become legend living in the South, whose aura is the same as Santa Claus but she sells Avon.
That is going to be you and the moment was now that I knew, when you typed, "one of my avon helpers".

Footprint said...

I know that some distant day I am going to be reading the paper about this woman who has become legend living in the South, whose aura is the same as Santa Claus but she sells Avon.
That is going to be you and the moment was now that I knew, when you typed, "one of my avon helpers".

Joe said...

ohhhhhh i'm just sooooo late on this but here is one that always gave me a laugh:

If you're The Matrix, then I am The One.


it's so nerdy and stupid it cracks me up.