Sunday, February 19, 2006

it's a mistake.....or twenty

i'm giving myself 25 minutes to screw around before my next undertaking of the here i am, and here are a few quick diversions, just in case you, too, happen to be procrastinating this evening:

let's start things off on a musical note, shall we? this site features all sorts of misheard lyrics, which is actually a pretty helpful tool when listeners call in and want to hear "well, i'm not sure what the title is, but the singer says something like "kick a chicken with it"...or something like that".

on a related note, have you heard about the movie bloopers site? no? well, you have now. (i must admit, however, that my favorite part of the site isn't the bloopers- it's the easter egg section.)

how about some mistranslations, while we're at it?

okay- enough of other people's humorous mistakes. here are a few things i've learned the hard way over the years:

1. even if it's in a can, whipped cream can go very, very bad.
2. furthermore, spoiled whipped cream is incredibly unsexy.
3. brand new dark red blankets are best washed alone....not with a pile of jeans and shirts- unless, of course you're going for some sort of pink, semi-psychadelic effect.
4. always check pockets before you toss jeans into the laundry-laundered gum is not pretty by any stretch of the imagination.
5. always double-check your fly....especially if you're about to meet a new boss/make a speech in front of twenty strangers/smoothly strut by your crush.
6. substitute "nose for boogers" for "fly" in #5.
7. when saying disparaging things about your sworn enemy, if the person you're speaking to gives you a strange look and begins making subtle gestures, it probably means the object of your ire is standing right behind you.(you would think i'd have caught on to this one by now, but nooooooo. i mean, er, ah, noooooo problem. yeah- that's the ticket.)
7a. know when to shut up.


jamwall said...

that kissthisguy site is awesome. i submitted my entry for the U2 song "where the streets have no name." but they probably thought mine was too outlandish.

there's a line in that song where he sings:

"See that dust cloud disappear without a trace."

which sounds a lot like he's singing:

"see that toaster disappear without a trace."

LBseahag said...

I totally see that one, Jamwall!

I saw that "Everytime you go away you take a piece of meat with you" was on the list...

great find, duff...

Footprint said...

"Wrapped up like a doucch, another boner in the night..."

Footprint said...

Stop Stalin!! No wait the cold war's over. Stop Stalling!!

joanne said...

Ugh, I still have laundered gum stuck to the sides of my dryer. Don't you also hate it when you have food caught in your teeth and no one tells you? They see it and never say one word. They just let you walk around like that all day. Sheesh.

just thinking said...

you know what, i have gum in my dryer too !

Martha said...

you should write a book.

Labbie said...

I left a cool comment and blogger f-ed it up.

Oh, well... Did you miss me?