having had both caffeine and adrenaline, i think i'll stick with the former.

sometimes, exciting stuff happens.

last night (well, technically, early this morning) was one of those times. 

i can only come to the conclusion that the universe knows my holiday letter is as yet unwritten and has therefore decided to give me more interesting experiences to add to it this year. unfortunately, the excitement from less than 24 hours ago was not of the "hey....i picked the right powerball numbers" variety. it was more of the "potentially pants-wetting" variety. 

there i was, minding my own business, thrilled by the fact that the incoming calls here at the answering service had finally slowed down, when i saw tail lights in between the cracks in the blinds covering the window in front of my workstation. since this neighborhood is mixed business/residential, i figured someone had merely gotten lost leaving the strip club down the road at 4am and needed a place to turn around. 

then, the banging started. 

i was 90% certain all of the doors were locked (there's one i never check, but no one ever uses it, so i trust it's secured), but after the second bang, i dialed 911.

i was on the phone with the 911 operator when i heard the crash. i assumed it meant someone had gotten in the back door- the one i never check. about a minute later, he was standing across the room from me:

he looked just like this, except he was black, a little under 6" tall, skinny, wearing black sweats, and too surprised to see me to say anything, much less "heh heh heh".

had i not been trying to determine whether or not he had a weapon*, i might have been tempted to inquire as to whether he was trying to find tp for his bunghole. 

thankfully, he was more scared of me than i was of him**, and fled back down the hall and through the window from whence he came. 

meanwhile, i was still on with the dispatcher, who was working on summoning help for me. i looked out the window to try and obtain the license plate number as they squealed out of the driveway, but all i could see was that it was a dark, pontiac grand am-sized car with a 90 day temporary tag. 

the cops showed up a couple of minutes later. naturally, i was a little hesitant to let anyone in without knowing exactly who they were, so the dispatcher had to confirm their identities before i unlocked the door. 

it took a few minutes to determine how the kid had gotten in- i could've sworn the crash was from the back door, but everything was locked. i think the officers thought i was making this up.....until one of them noticed that the air conditioner in one of the rooms down the hall had been shoved to the side and there was now a gap about a foot wide next to it. (did i already mention that he was a skinny little dude?)

after they gathered a little information from me, two of the officers left the third to dust for prints. (i was asked whether or not he'd been wearing gloves. i replied that i hadn't noticed. i was busy being relieved he wasn't brandishing a weapon.) i went back to my calls, while waiting for the owner of the business to show up. 

the last officer left before the business owner arrived, but he gave me a case number, as well as a number to call to have him redispatched, if needed. when the owner got here, he told me this was the only break in they'd had in the eleven years they've owned this building. the only other incident of any sort during that time was about a month ago, when the other girl who handles third shift was confronted by the stripper next door who was fleeing from her abusive, crackhead boyfriend. (she was pretty shaken up by that, so i can only imagine what this morning's incident would've done to her.)

the owner offered to stay if i was uncomfortable being by myself. i told him i was fine, but while he was here, i'd appreciate it if he'd unlock the back office, where the supplies were kept. 

the guy who broken in may not have needed the tp, but the roll in the bathroom was empty and i still had a couple of hours left in my shift.

*thankfully, he wasn't packing. otherwise, i assure you i would've been packing something in my pants.

**actually, we were probably about even on that