Sunday, November 18, 2012

stuffing: in me? yes; holiday letters in envelopes anytime soon? not so much.

thanksgiving is almost upon us, and you know what that means.

stove top stuffing (forgive me, but sometimes i'm just too lazy to whip out the family recipe) is on sale for dirt cheap at the grocery store.

retailers have had their christmas stuff out on display for at least a month now. 

so far, three holiday catalogs have come in the mail from the world wildlife federation, urging me to symbolically adopt animals.*

someone, somewhere, is playing "a message from the king". 

i have about six weeks to get my holiday letter written, printed, folded and mailed to a list of friends and relations that's approximately ten times the number of times "turkey" is mentioned in "the thanksgiving song":


the countdown has begun. the drafting of the letter, however, has not. i have several excuses at the ready:

       excuse #1: home computer on strike.

(it gave me the blue screen of death the other day, then went into a seemingly endless bootup loop. lacking the patience to deal with it, i'm not even touching it this weekend, in the hopes that the mini-vacation will inspire it to behave itself on monday.)

       excuse #2: too busy working.

(in the grand scheme of things, being able to pay the rent ranks higher than getting my letter out on time.***)

       excuse #3: planets poorly aligned

(seriously. i cannot get things done when the moon is in jupiter and pluto is no longer considered a planet. however, this alignment means that the best numbers for powerball this week are: 10, 25, 37, 45 and 56, with 3 as the powerball.****)

i swear i'll get started on it one of these days- most likely after i've figured out how to fit 27 boxes of stove top into my pantry. 

*aside from the fact that they send an annoying number of notices in the mail, i highly recommend them- and not just because some of their plush animals are stinkin' cute.**

**sea turtle excepted. one of my favorite animals, and somehow, they've made it look like it was squeezed out of a relish bottle or something.

***recipients of said letter, especially those toward the end of the alphabet, know that "on time" generally means "sometime before martin luther king jr's birthday". 

****let me know if that actually works out for you, so i can tell you where to mail my share of the winnings. 


Osbasso said...

I'm still trying to get my 2005 Christmas letter out...

Happy Thanksgiving, Duff!

Happy Jack said...

Holy crap you really are back!! You sexy assed fox head wearing woman! Wait I didn't say that out loud! Well no I really didn't! Go read my blog, It'll explain everything!