Wednesday, June 14, 2006

cute and cuddly? i think not.

i was asking for trouble- i really was. that much became very clear to me very quickly.

as i've mentioned before, i'm running away again next week. while i was at work today (necessary to support my travel habit), i took it upon myself to find a new image for the wallpaper on my computer at work. before the trip to havasupai, i found a picture of one of the waterfalls (havasu falls, as it turns out), so it seemed fitting to look for a picture of the grand tetons, amongst which i hope to be hiking around this time next week.

i found a rather striking picture on the national park service website, saved it as my wallpaper (if you followed the link, i now stare at a larger version of the picture at the top of the page), and i really should have quit while i was ahead.

i made the horrible mistake of clicking on the link on the left hand side that said "be safe!", and was a little unnerved to find that there's not one, but two different kinds of bears frolicking about the park.

nothing makes you look forward to a trip like finding out that there's a chance you'll encounter something that might like to nibble your ear....and you'll be damned lucky if it's only that much.

according to the website, should one encounter a bear, one should not throw their backpack at it, nor should they turn and run. no, sirree....if i come upon a bear, i'm supposed to back away slowly and speak in calm, reassuring tones.

would somebody please tell me just exactly how i am supposed to be calm and reassuring while a bear is staring at me as if i were a fresh steak with legs? (true, my legs have slightly more fat than they used to, but i think they call that "marbling" and i've seen professional chefs talk about it fondly on tv.) i might calmly wet my pants while staring at this bear, but i doubt i'll be able to be soothing and reassuring while doing so. perhaps it would be a good idea to stay with a crowd of slow, fat people, just in case. if a couple of those folks can't satisfy a hungry bear, perhaps they'll at least slow it down a little so i can get away.

confronted with such alarming information, i felt the need for some sort of reassurance.

perhaps calling daddy first was a bad idea.

"i've never seen a bear in the grand tetons..." (so far, so good)

"...most of them are in yellowstone." (not reassuring, dad. guess where we're stopping on our way to the tetons?)

"i've never seen one when i've had a gun."

great- the faa is going to love this. in addition to asking me if i'm flying with a chaperone (sadly, it's been a couple of years since the last time that happened), now i'm going to have to answer all sorts of pesky questions regarding the heat i'm packing in my suitcase. somehow i doubt the "bear repellant" excuse is going to fly.....and neither will i if i depend on daddy's methods, from the sound of it.

looking on the bright side however, daddy said there really aren't all that many snakes in the area.

of course not- the bears probably ate them.

1 comment:

Chris said...

You know what Grand Tetons means in english right? It is important you know before you visit.