the long arm of the law

it started the day i got back from hawai'i.

there i was, minding my own business, sorting through the pile of mail that jumped out of my box as soon as i opened it.

bill
bill
catalog
fabulous credit card offer i can afford to pass up
bill
important looking envelope from the dentsville magistrate
rolling stone
catalog
other random envelopes and catalogs that aren't really registering right now because i'm trying to figure out what i've done to warrant correspondence from someone of a legal nature.

long story short (because i the paperwork is actually holding my place in my current reading material):

1. the body still hasn't been found.
2. nor have those stashes or hardcore drugs i'm constantly pulling out and snorting/smoking/shooting/sticking in my bellybutton.
3. i haven't been caught sleepspeeding on my way home from work again. (uh oh- hope i didn't just jinx myself with that one.)

it seems i've been called to do my civic duty. in the last major election, i voted for the candidate no one else in my state wanted (i seem to be a blue amongst the reds), and now i must pay my penance by sitting in a courtroom and listening to hardcore check-bouncers spin their tales of woe.

getting excused was not an option, though i was advised to yell out "nuke 'em all" during jury selection, so i'd be able to resume my regularly scheduled toilet scrubbing and floor sweeping at work.

don't get me wrong- there are some things i really love about my job: the coworkers, the kids, the flexible vacations, the way the puppies refuse to let me go out to the mailbox all by myself......



.....but i don't love scrubbing toilets and sweeping floors...especially when the dry lawn necessitates doing the latter on a daily (at least once, if not twice) basis.

so, the thought of spending my time raking in the big bucks while catching up on my reading and possibly giving those serial check bouncers an opportunity to practice balancing their checkbooks while doing hard time in whatever the south carolina equivalent of alcatraz may be......well, it had a little appeal. i mean, after all, it worked for pauly shore, didn't it?

(egads- did you know pauly's 40 now? i had no idea.....)

but i digress.

i agonized over what to wear for my first day of jury duty. i mean, i'm a jeans and sneakers sort of girl, and i was informed that such an outfit would hardly be appropriate for such a serious matter.

jeans were out, but that didn't mean i didn't have other options. i mean, i could have played this several ways:

~stilettos and a mini (in case there was some sort of "brawling in a strip joint" case on the docket.)*

~sweats and those stupid boxing gloves i paid twenty bucks for when i took tai-bo several years ago (for a hit and run case, of course)**

~eyepatch and crutches (surely they haul in the folks who park illegally in handicapped spaces every now and then. this is the one instance when i would be likely to yell "nuke 'em all!")

~plain black dress, sensible shoes (i'd have to borrow some, since i doubt the plaid doc martens would count), cardigan, and glasses (just in case there's a case involving failure to return overdue library books.....or a lawsuit brought by a librarian against the adult film industry claiming slander or perversion of a formerly respected occupation....and why am i reminded of the episode of "tales from the crypt" that starred adam ant and took place in a library?)

sorry- digressed again.

i finally settled on a plain shirt and khakis...but drew the line when it came to footwear. the plaid chuck taylors just seemed to tie the outfit together.***

i'd told the bosses the night before that i had jury duty and that they'd see the whites of my eyes only if i finished before i had to meet a friend/coworker for the def leppard concert that night.****

as it turned out, my stint as a juror was technically over before it began.

i was supposed to show up at the courthouse (actually a storefront in a strip mall, if you can believe it) at 10am sharp. in a rare show of overpunctuality, i got there at 9:55. i parked my car, took a wrong turn into (and back out of) the storefront for the DMV, and wandered toward the proper office at 9:57. as i approached the door, a woman came out and held it for me.

"are you a juror?"

"yes"

"well, we had a lot of cases on the docket this week, but all of them have been settled, so you're off the hook."

dammit- there went my chance to convict the most ruthless check bouncer in the whole county, which would surely lead to a book deal and an appearance as a member of a panel on some hard-hitting news show, which, of course, val kilmer/matthew mcconaughey/johnny depp would be watching on the edge of his seat, and he would be so dazzled by my brilliance and ability to walk in stilettos while wearing an eyepatch and using my boxing gloves to carefully drape my cardigan around my shoulders that he'd show up at my front door as soon as he could possibly catch a flight to columbia and ask if he could balance my checkbook.....

whoa- sorry about that. digressing again.

perhaps i'll go ahead and write that book anyway....just as soon as i'm done sweeping the floor.


*this would never have worked. i'm still learning how to walk in some 3" stilettos i bought on sale in phoenix last year, in the hopes that i'll get that particular goal off my "to do before 30" list.

**blame my dad for that one. i was raised to always smell the bad pun coming and to jump on it with enthusiasm.

***sorry about that. blame dad for that one, too.

****i will save the bulk of the concert for another post, but i can't help but take the opportunity to openly admit that:
1. phil collen has always been my favorite member of def leppard- and i have the posters ripped out of metal edge magazine to prove it and
2. i'm glad i called dibs early on, because he may be 50, but he's built more like a buff twentysomething. i can certainly think of far worse ways to spend a morning/lunch break/evening than having that torso invade my personal space.

will dig in couch cushions for food

as you've probably heard, the latest mc donald's ad campaign is geared towards the frugal- the "dollar menunaires". i know this because:

1. contrary to popular belief, i am not a total hermit and

2. when i got to the radio station yesterday morning (well, not right after i got to work, as i'm not really fully functioning until a couple of hours into the 6-noon shift), i was asked to record a commercial celebrating dollar menunaires.

is it bad that i actually nodded my head while reading:

"do you switch your car into neutral and coast down hills to save gas?" (seems like a sensible thing to do when a gallon of gas costs the equivalent of a double cheeseburger, small fry, and side salad, don't you think?)

"do you steam the wrinkles out of your clothing by hanging them in the shower?" (what's wrong with that? am i the only person in america who is too lazy to iron?* i think not.)

somehow, i managed to take dollar menunaireness (i'm trying to legalize that word so i can use it in scrabble. if anyone has connections to the fine folks over at webster's.....i mean, "bootylicious" made it in, after all. if beyonce can have a word, so should i....and i'm not just saying that because i'm hoping the mc donald's bigwigs will show their appreciation by giving me more stock.) to a whole new level today- not only was i a dollar menunaire on my way back to work, but i had to nickel and dime (technically, quarter) it, to boot.

as i sat at the drive thru window, waiting for the highly paid burger slinger to count my considerable coinage, i harkened back to the good ol' "poor college student" days, when i could get a week's worth of meals at hyvee for ten bucks (pasta and lettuce figured prominently), and still have enough left over to celebrate taco tuesday at taco john's on the way home.

since it took a while for the girl to count three dollars and thirty cents' worth of quarters and nickels, i also had time to ponder the time one of my equally broke roommates had to empty out her large coin jar to pay the bills. i can't remember exactly which errand i'd accompanied her on, but i vividly recall her plunking down a bag of coins on the counter, along with the stub from her bill.

i can honestly say i've never had to go that far, although that's mostly because i roll my coins, rather than carry them around in large ziplocs.

which gives me an idea: perhaps next week, to save whichever higly paid mc donald's employee happens to be working the money window at roughly two o'clock on sunday undue duress, maybe i should just go ahead and splurge, order a couple of apple pies and a large fry to go with my usual double cheeseburger and side salad, and simply hand over a roll of dimes as payment....but only if i manage to coast down enough hills this week to save a gallon and a half of gas.

*actually, i should clarify. it's not just that i'm too lazy- i also get frustrated too easily. i once threw a shirt out the window because every time i finished ironing one side of it, i'd flip it over and realize that i'd somehow ironed new wrinkles into the other side. since then, if it needs to be ironed, it's not coming home from the store with me.

back from hawai'i, sans tan

yes- i know that's hard to believe, but believe me, i had other things to do. besides, if i wanted to do nothing but lay around and turn bronze, why pay a considerable amount of money to do it somewhere exotic when i could simply hold down a chair by the pool in my apartment complex? (when we get back above seventy degrees, of course....)

while i could easily post a seven-installment series about my recent trip to hawai'i (okay- so only five of the installments would actually see the light of day), i figure it's best to summarize:

~some people rely on pamplets and brochures to plan their vacation. i used a combination of the official tourism brochure and hawaii trails by kathy morey.

~this trip allowed me to cross 3 goals off my list of "30 things to do before 30" ....and a fourth is up for debate. the three certainties are: travel alone to someplace new, hawaii, and visit three world heritage sites. (the other two sites were giant's causeway in northern ireland back in july, and the grand canyon in october.)

~culinary delights: papaya salad, spam musubi
i'm pleased to report that no poi was ingested during this adventure.

~hazards of the fauna variety (on land, unless land sharks make a comeback): none. there aren't any snakes on the big island, no any large carnivores that might want to eat me. as i understand it, there are feral pigs, and i saw a horse with a wild look in his eye, but i was perfectly comfortable hiking solo, knowing that i was unlikely to be chased by bears or mountain lions. most of my animal sightings involved either birds or mongooses. (or would that be "mongeese"?) interesting fact: the mongeese were introduced to the island in an attempt to solve the rat problem. unfortunately, rats are noctournal, mongeese aren't. as a result, there are tons of hungry looking mongeese all over the island.

rather than bore you with more details, let me share a few of my (roughly 1000) photos:


the typical hawaiian scene....though this was taken at a spot where people used to be sacrificed to the shark "gods", which isn't really something that gives me warm, relaxing, hawaiian feelings.


the downside of traveling solo? all of my photos of myself were either taken by random strangers (i got really good at walking up to random strangers), or else have the telltale arm in the corner. this one was taken at lapakahi state historical park.


the view of the valleys on hawai'i's northeastern coast, as seen from along the pololu valley hiking trail. the pololu trail was probably one of the more crowded ones i went on during my trip, but i really can't blame anyone for wanting to take in this view.


the pololu valley beach. it isn't safe to swim in the ocean here, due to fierce currents. random strolling and photographing are perfectly acceptable, however.


my first sea turtle sighting was at kahalu'u beach park, where i returned a week later to get the hang of snorkeling before flying home.


view from the waipi'o lookout. most visitors do not get any closer than this, and for good reason- the road is so steep that only four wheel drive vehicles are allowed to descend it.


once again, i managed to con other tourists into taking my photo. not realizing that the tallest waterfall in hawaii (1400 feet) was in the valley, i spent time wandering around the beach, and not the back of the valley, before beginning the climb back up. the trail was steep, to say the least. as i started to ascend, i was offered a ride by a bunch of college coeds in a jeep, which i declined. about halfway up, i wished i'd taken them up on it, as it seemed the trail would have been easier to handle if i'd just leaned forward a little more and crawled up it on all fours. however, by the time i got to the trailhead, i felt a sense of accomplishment....or maybe that was just the sharp, stinging pains in my calves making me delirious or something.


halema'uma'u crater, in the kilauea caldera, volcanoes national park, as seen during my $225 helicopter ride. during my visit, the crater was pumping out levels of sulphur dioxide that are ten times higher than normal. i found out right after my return home that, on the last morning of my visit, there was an explosion of ash and rock at the crater.


the lava flow, also seen during my $225 helicopter ride.


...and during my infinitely cheaper drive to the end of highway 130.





halema'uma'u crater. the rain jacket was the last thing i grabbed when i left my car at the charlotte airport, and easily one of the smartest packing decisions i'd made, since the hilo side of the island gets an average 140" of rain annually.


stopping along the kilauea iki trail in volcanoes national park. as you can see, i was unable to con any other tourists into taking this picture for me. there were cracks in the crater floor, still steaming after the 1959 eruption here.


my last major hike was to the captain cook monument in kealakekua bay. in addition to the monument, there's supposedly a plaque at the spot where cook actually died. unfortunately, neither i nor my sudden hiking buddy stumbled upon it. (however, since i've mastered snorkeling- one day too late for the hike- i'm totally willing to go back and look again....)




47 states down, 3 to go...and four months left to get them. admittedly, though, hawaii's been my favorite so far. (sorry, arizona.)

swept away for a moment by chance....

i have hooters on the brain.

no, not the kind that help fill out my bikini, and not the popular restaurant chain. i'm talking about the fine folks who brought you hits like "day by day" (my personal favorite) and, of course, "and we danced", which was stuck in my head until i started digging for the video link to "day by day".

okay, now that've just wasted half an hour jumping between videos on youtube, i need a moment to remember what on earth it was i sat down to write about in the first place. (it would probably help if i didn't have "(i'm gonna be) 500 miles" by the proclaimers playing in another window, huh?)

SO hasn't visited from charleston in a couple of weeks now. he was going to come out this weekend, but he's been slammed at work, so i've been on my own. no need to feel sorry for me, though- i managed to see two movies and attend a party this weekend, in addition to the 22 hours of work at the radio station i'm pulling this weekend...and let's not forget the kickass power nap i took between shifts earlier this afternoon. next weekend should be equally busy, but in a totally different way, as the bosses are heading off to another conference, and i'll have my sidekick and her brother in their absence. i still have to sit down with a map, hiking guide, and my list of nat'l park passport stamping locations so i can figure out what sort of trouble we'll try to get into, but i've got other matters to attend to first (like a 50th birthday present). SO is expected to join us for at least part of the weekend- at the very least, to drop off my laptop and his digital camera, both of which will be making the trip to hawaii with me later this month.

so,yesterday's matinee made the fourth movie i've seen solo in the past two weeks. sadly, i must report that ryan reynolds does not spent a large portion of definitely, maybe running around without a shirt, and i'm still trying to figure out when kevin kline started looking old. however, that aside, it wasn't half bad. (i liked charlie bartlett, which i caught friday after work, much better, though.)

post-movie, i ran errands yesterday. i needed footwear to go with the dress i wore to last night's party, as well as a card, and i made a pilgrimage to walgreens to get one of the photos from the bahamian vacation printed for the birthday boy.

somewhere along the way, i found myself sucked in by a sale at aeropostale (1 pair of jeans and 3 tops for under $60), which was almost as much of a mood booster as getting accused of being 21 when i picked up my photos. (the poor guy got so flustered when i broke it to him that he was almost a decade off, that he handed by my ten dollar bill, plus my change. a situation i resolved before sprinting out of the store in my newly acquired heels.)

i wound up 5 minutes late for my rendezvous with my party companions (okay. fine- 15, if you go by my originally promised time), and i'm pleased to report that the party went really, really well. most of the evening was spent twirling my sidekick around the dance floor, which ordinarily i wouldn't be caught dead doing (as i like to say, "other partygoers aren't drunk enough for me to dance"), but hey- life's short, and as long as i'm clothed, i don't have to worry about anything too embarrassing showing up on the internet when i'm rich and famous.

i mean really, do i want anyone wasting half an hour on youtube watching me dance? especially when i'm clearly drinking sprite, and therefore cannot blame my utter lack of rhythm on alcohol?

i think not.

paris hilton; swallows (or: sometimes i'm too clever for my own good)

should i be embarrassed that i've given in to a sudden, uncontrollable urge to listen to paris hilton sing? when i worked at the top 40 station, we actually played her song "stars are blind" for about a week and a half, and as i was scrolling through our music files, looking for something more melodic than "the kim komando show" to listen to, well, so maybe the gods are crazy.

which reminds me- i finally introduced my six year old sidekick and her ten year old brother to that cinematic masterpiece a few weeks ago, while their parents were out of town for the day. they liked it well enough, particularly the scenes with the brakeless vehicle, the hill, and the gates that had to be opened and closed manually.....not to mention the time the aforementioned vehicle wound up in a tree, which has always been my favorite part of the film.

however, the appeal of a hoopty cannot possibly compare to that of a killer bunny rabbit.

yes, dear reader, i have further corrupted their impressionable young minds, but i'd like to state for the record that it was with parental approval.

back when we watched the gods must be crazy, i'd actually brought over two movies for the kids to choose between. unfortunately, it was a couple of weeks before i successfully managed to located the ever-important first disc (that would be the one containing the actual film) of my two disc collector's edition of monty python and the holy grail.

following mama's recent visit, i became inspired by her example (she attacked my bathroom, which was no small feat, as i had several unintentional biological experiments going on in my shower. kyan douglas would not have been happy with me at all.) and started decluttering the apartment. during my mid-week decluttering session (i was killing time while waiting for the total eclipse), i found the long-lost first disc. elated, i reunited it with its case, and tucked it into my backpack for a thursday night screening with the kids.

i was twelve the first time i laid eyes on the film- in mr. thomassen's seventh grade social studies class. i don't think we watched it in its entirety, but i clearly recall three questions from our midterm exam (sadly, i no longer have my copy):

~what is your name?

~what is your quest?

~what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

who needs to ponder the meaning of life when such pressing questions are left unanswered?

so, anyway, the kids have officially been introduced to killer bunnies, holy hand grenades, and knights who say "ni" (or is it "nee"? perhaps i should watch it with subtitles, just once). i had to explain a few things during the initial viewing, but the film left such and impression on my sidekick that she came to me friday night, asking if i still had it. since i was coming over to hang out with her anyway last night, i asked if she wanted me to bring it along, which she did...so i did.
for last night's encore presentation, we were joined by sidekick's seven year old (i think) friend, as well as sidekick's dad, who returned from a social engagement around the time king arthur was searching for a shrubbery. sidekick was almost as amusing as the movie itself- explaining to her playmate some of the major points of the movie, and occasionally predicting what would happen next. (i kept telling her to hush, but finally wound up resorting to tickling her hard enough that she was unable to form words....though not so hard that the couch wound up wet, as you know who would have wound up cleaning up the aftermath.) thankfully, the entire castle anthrax scene was way over her head, though she was amused by the "oh, shit" at the end of the sequence.

i can hardly wait to see how long it'll be before she leads a discussion with her first grade classmates regarding killer bunnies, witches, and the proper number to count to before lobbing a holy hand grenade. will the positivity of my influence be called into question? must i be punished? will spankings be involved?

you know, i heard somewhere that paris was into that sort of thing.

photos a go go

in what may be a record for me, i'm posting pictures from the bahamas a mere week and a half after getting home. (i know, i know- i thought the shock would do me in, too.) so, without further ado, a few highlights from my digital photo album:


at atlantis, even the fish are friendly.


bodhi and hot dog in front (well, technically, way behind) the atlantis hotel


are you tilting your head right now? you have my six year old sidekick to thank for this. i knew she had an unusual way of looking at the world.....


i can't remember the informative tidbit about exactly when this cloister was built, but i know french monks are responsible. william randolph hurst bought the cloister and brought it to the u.s., where it sat in a warehouse until one of the developers of paradise island bought it in 1962. it now sits across from versailles gardens.


"why the stern look?", you ask? i'm guessing it's because i probably just finished chewing out the ten year old for bickering with his sister.

while looking for an official link regarding the cloisters, i found something stating that the grounds aren't open to tourists but that one could view the cloister from the road. uh, oops. can i blame this one on the kids?


remember those skits lily tomlin used to do on sesame street where she was a little girl in a huge rocking chair? this reminds me of that. this also reminds me why it is unwise to wear a wet bikini top under a dry t shirt.


check out the rainbow in the background. this is only the third or fourth time i've been able to capture one on film...err...in pixels.


queen's staircase, which was handcarved by slaves in the late 1700s. this place was breathtaking.

i have a really great picture of myself with my sidekick and her brother in front of the waterfall by queen's staircase, but since i haven't gotten permission from their parents to post it, i'm afraid this is all you're getting:





i fought the law, and the law won. locked up at fort fincastle, which is just up the hill from the queen's staircase.


i still don't know what the heck "sky juice" is. (i missed the sign going in, otherwise i would've surely asked for it.) i do, however, know the pleasures of eating conch salad....though i tried to do so in moderation, because otherwise i fear being harpooned the next time i don a bikini.

i was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, "i drank what?"

i should have known better.

i mean, one of those unspoken rules of community dining areas is to leave stuff that doesn't belong to you untouched, partially because you don't know which one of your coworkers it may belong to. i mean, you could get lucky and run across a plate of cookies made by a meticulously clean coworker who happens to be a fabulous cook. on the other hand, those same cookies could have been brought in by the dear soul who not only let the fruit of their loins help with preparation, but also looked the other way as the little dears held a contest to see who could lick the most cookies.

it's well known that i have a fondness for tea. ever since that night toward the end of my senior year of high school when i threw four tea bags in a large mug and added about half a cup of sugar in an effort to fortify myself for my all night "complete every step necessary in the senior paper writing process in one evening because i've procrastinated all semester" session, and certainly despite the god-awful caffeine hangover i had the next day, i have had a certain fondness for the hot brew, preferably with enough sugar to inspire one to bounce off the walls for an hour or two.

in fact, that's one of the few areas of southern cuisine i can identify with. sweet tea is a fine and beautiful thing, though i'm certain my teeth would not be if i didn't brush them religiously after imbibing the stuff.

i like my tea lukewarm. not hot enough to boil my tastebuds, but not too chilly, either- unless, of course, it's 90 degrees in the middle of april, in which case, i like a little tea with my iced sugar water. so, you can imagine my distress this evening when i discovered that i was out of tea just as i sat down to eat my chimichanga and 3lb. salad. (yes, you read that right. i guess i went a little crazy when SO took me to the whole foods market in charleston when i ran away after work yesterday.)

at any rate, i needed to wash down my chimi and monster salad with something, and neither lukewarm water nor scaldingly hot tea seemed like a good idea. sure, the soda machine was an option, but if i'm going to fork over a buck for a can of soda, i'd like to be at least kissed or presented with a small bouquet first.

so, i did something very, very bad. something i never do, generally out of (well-founded, given some of my coworkers) fear for my safety.

yep- i opened the fridge, spotted a jug of tea that appeared to be up for grabs (left over from the last birthday celebration, perhaps? after all, it is that time of the month.*), and poured myself a nice, short, syrofoam cup which, admittedly, does not have the same ring as "tall glass", but it's a little more realistic.

assuming that it was sweet tea, since this is the south, after all, i took a swig.

make that half a swig- i don't think it counts if you don't swallow.**

half a cup of sugar later (keep in mind this was a 12 oz styrofoam cup), it still wasn't drinkable.

half a cup of sugar after that, i gave up, poured it out, and crossed it off my mental checklist (which is not to be confused with my "to do before i turn 30" list) as yet another lesson learned the hard way.

kind of like the one about running down freshly waxed wooden stairs in super fuzzy socks.....but that's a lesson for another time.

*no, no, not that time of the month, you weirdo.
**stop it. this is a pg-ish blog

it started out kinda promising......

i'm feeling a wee bit lazy today, but i promised you a post, didn't i? i can't claim this will be one of my finest, but hopefully it won't leave you saying, "well- there's five minutes of my life i'll never get back."*

i'd love to show you pictures from last week's trip to the bahamas, but my laptop's with SO in charleston, my camera is here with me, and getting the two together for an up/downloading session is unlikely until next week. perhaps, by then i'll finally get the waterslide-induced wedgie (we spent a lot of time at the atlantis resort) fully dug out.

i'm pleased to report that the trip enabled me to cross another item off my list- i've officially been to three foreign countries since my last birthday. unfortunately, i'm still unable to cross off "learn to swim underwater without holding nose" and "find a giant, unoccupied conch shell on the beach", but maybe i can take care of the latter next month, when i cross off "travel all alone to someplace new", "hawaii", and "visit 3 world heritage sites"**.

i hung out with my six year old sidekick and her ten year old brother during the week leading up to the trip to the bahamas. (did i mention this already? i can't remember....) SO came up from charleston a couple of weekends ago, and we took the kids to king's mountain national military park with the hopes of not only getting our national parks passports stamped, but doing a little bit of hiking, as well.

we didn't have time for hiking beyond the battlefield loop, but during the informative video (during which SO fell asleep, though thankfully his snoring didn't disturb any of the other visitors), we learned several important lessons, many courtesy of patrick ferguson, who is buried on the site:

important lesson number one: do not eat green corn.
important lesson number two: if you're going to have more than one girlfriend, it is wise to pick two ladies with the same name. (as one historian in the video pointed out, this way no matter whose ear he was whispering sweet nothings into, he always used the right name.)
important lesson number three: don't tick off one of the aforementioned girlfriends. (one of the ladies, virginia sal, was killed early in the battle while tending to the wounded. the other virginia, whose last name i have been unable to chase down, despite searching for about twenty minutes now, mounted a horse, rode over to the patriots' side, told them about ferguson's bright red checkered shirt, and then rode off into the sunset.)
important lesson number four: red checkered shirts do not make good camouflage. (there's a reason targets are red and white, though i can't help but wonder whether that color combination was proven effective before or after the battle.***

i have visual aids for that trip, too, but until my laptop and my camera can be reunited.........

*brings to mind an old fling i had, come to think of it.......
**i've already got giant's causeway and my latest trip to the grand canyon under my belt, and i think hawaii volcanoes nat'l park would be a good way to round out my list.....or would it make a triangle, since it's a three-item list? hmm.......
***interesting sidenote: according to the article i just linked to, it seems davy crockett's dad fought in the battle of king's mountain. i didn't see it on any of the informative plaques scattered around the park, but to be fair, i only skimmed them.