Sunday, February 24, 2008

paris hilton; swallows (or: sometimes i'm too clever for my own good)

should i be embarrassed that i've given in to a sudden, uncontrollable urge to listen to paris hilton sing? when i worked at the top 40 station, we actually played her song "stars are blind" for about a week and a half, and as i was scrolling through our music files, looking for something more melodic than "the kim komando show" to listen to, well, so maybe the gods are crazy.

which reminds me- i finally introduced my six year old sidekick and her ten year old brother to that cinematic masterpiece a few weeks ago, while their parents were out of town for the day. they liked it well enough, particularly the scenes with the brakeless vehicle, the hill, and the gates that had to be opened and closed manually.....not to mention the time the aforementioned vehicle wound up in a tree, which has always been my favorite part of the film.

however, the appeal of a hoopty cannot possibly compare to that of a killer bunny rabbit.

yes, dear reader, i have further corrupted their impressionable young minds, but i'd like to state for the record that it was with parental approval.

back when we watched the gods must be crazy, i'd actually brought over two movies for the kids to choose between. unfortunately, it was a couple of weeks before i successfully managed to located the ever-important first disc (that would be the one containing the actual film) of my two disc collector's edition of monty python and the holy grail.

following mama's recent visit, i became inspired by her example (she attacked my bathroom, which was no small feat, as i had several unintentional biological experiments going on in my shower. kyan douglas would not have been happy with me at all.) and started decluttering the apartment. during my mid-week decluttering session (i was killing time while waiting for the total eclipse), i found the long-lost first disc. elated, i reunited it with its case, and tucked it into my backpack for a thursday night screening with the kids.

i was twelve the first time i laid eyes on the film- in mr. thomassen's seventh grade social studies class. i don't think we watched it in its entirety, but i clearly recall three questions from our midterm exam (sadly, i no longer have my copy):

~what is your name?

~what is your quest?

~what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

who needs to ponder the meaning of life when such pressing questions are left unanswered?

so, anyway, the kids have officially been introduced to killer bunnies, holy hand grenades, and knights who say "ni" (or is it "nee"? perhaps i should watch it with subtitles, just once). i had to explain a few things during the initial viewing, but the film left such and impression on my sidekick that she came to me friday night, asking if i still had it. since i was coming over to hang out with her anyway last night, i asked if she wanted me to bring it along, which she i did.
for last night's encore presentation, we were joined by sidekick's seven year old (i think) friend, as well as sidekick's dad, who returned from a social engagement around the time king arthur was searching for a shrubbery. sidekick was almost as amusing as the movie itself- explaining to her playmate some of the major points of the movie, and occasionally predicting what would happen next. (i kept telling her to hush, but finally wound up resorting to tickling her hard enough that she was unable to form words....though not so hard that the couch wound up wet, as you know who would have wound up cleaning up the aftermath.) thankfully, the entire castle anthrax scene was way over her head, though she was amused by the "oh, shit" at the end of the sequence.

i can hardly wait to see how long it'll be before she leads a discussion with her first grade classmates regarding killer bunnies, witches, and the proper number to count to before lobbing a holy hand grenade. will the positivity of my influence be called into question? must i be punished? will spankings be involved?

you know, i heard somewhere that paris was into that sort of thing.


Callie said...

You know, that's almost as bad as me letting my kids watch "Dogma", and both of the Jeff Dunham unedited Comedy Central specials over and over and over again. I had to tell my Kindergartener that she couldn't go around saying things like "You're gay! click" at school because people would take her away from mommy.

Ren said...

It was pretty much a free-for-all when it came to movies when I was growing up... Boobies... Sexual innuendo... Anything was game.

Speaking of innuendo... Lovely picture of you on the beach. I feel all patriotic and stuff.

just some dude said...

Yeah, she's trying to convince us that there's a rainbow behind her somewhere in that picture. ;-)

Ren said...

All I saw were the good old Red, White, and Blue...

And a pair of nice hips in there, for good measure.

duff said...

callie: the ten year old has discovered jeff dunham, and is highly distressed that i won't get him tickets to see him in greenville, about an hour and a half from where we live.

ren: i just consider myself lucky that no one has tried to harpoon me while playing on the beach in that bikini.

dude: there totally is!

ren: you are way too kind.