i was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, "i drank what?"

i should have known better.

i mean, one of those unspoken rules of community dining areas is to leave stuff that doesn't belong to you untouched, partially because you don't know which one of your coworkers it may belong to. i mean, you could get lucky and run across a plate of cookies made by a meticulously clean coworker who happens to be a fabulous cook. on the other hand, those same cookies could have been brought in by the dear soul who not only let the fruit of their loins help with preparation, but also looked the other way as the little dears held a contest to see who could lick the most cookies.

it's well known that i have a fondness for tea. ever since that night toward the end of my senior year of high school when i threw four tea bags in a large mug and added about half a cup of sugar in an effort to fortify myself for my all night "complete every step necessary in the senior paper writing process in one evening because i've procrastinated all semester" session, and certainly despite the god-awful caffeine hangover i had the next day, i have had a certain fondness for the hot brew, preferably with enough sugar to inspire one to bounce off the walls for an hour or two.

in fact, that's one of the few areas of southern cuisine i can identify with. sweet tea is a fine and beautiful thing, though i'm certain my teeth would not be if i didn't brush them religiously after imbibing the stuff.

i like my tea lukewarm. not hot enough to boil my tastebuds, but not too chilly, either- unless, of course, it's 90 degrees in the middle of april, in which case, i like a little tea with my iced sugar water. so, you can imagine my distress this evening when i discovered that i was out of tea just as i sat down to eat my chimichanga and 3lb. salad. (yes, you read that right. i guess i went a little crazy when SO took me to the whole foods market in charleston when i ran away after work yesterday.)

at any rate, i needed to wash down my chimi and monster salad with something, and neither lukewarm water nor scaldingly hot tea seemed like a good idea. sure, the soda machine was an option, but if i'm going to fork over a buck for a can of soda, i'd like to be at least kissed or presented with a small bouquet first.

so, i did something very, very bad. something i never do, generally out of (well-founded, given some of my coworkers) fear for my safety.

yep- i opened the fridge, spotted a jug of tea that appeared to be up for grabs (left over from the last birthday celebration, perhaps? after all, it is that time of the month.*), and poured myself a nice, short, syrofoam cup which, admittedly, does not have the same ring as "tall glass", but it's a little more realistic.

assuming that it was sweet tea, since this is the south, after all, i took a swig.

make that half a swig- i don't think it counts if you don't swallow.**

half a cup of sugar later (keep in mind this was a 12 oz styrofoam cup), it still wasn't drinkable.

half a cup of sugar after that, i gave up, poured it out, and crossed it off my mental checklist (which is not to be confused with my "to do before i turn 30" list) as yet another lesson learned the hard way.

kind of like the one about running down freshly waxed wooden stairs in super fuzzy socks.....but that's a lesson for another time.

*no, no, not that time of the month, you weirdo.
**stop it. this is a pg-ish blog