i just awoke from an unusual, but totally plausible, dream.
i was driving down a major road- not like an interstate, but like a multilane (3 or 4 on each side) road in a metropolitan area. (it was not like a major city, but not a tiny town, either.)
anyway, there had been a parade or something, but i missed it.
i was out driving, and as i am waiting to turn left, a flatbed truck passes in front of me in one of the near lanes, crossing in front of me from left to right.
the group color me badd is on the back of this flatbed, and the have little signs and banners and stuff, looking as they did during the c.m.b. album era.
my windows are down, and i yell "WOO! COLOR ME BADD!" as i make my left turn onto the main drag, going the opposite direction.
maybe there was low turnout at the parade, or maybe they just wanted to seize the opportunity to make a fan's dream come true, because the flatbed driver does an impromptu u turn, nearly throwing mark, bryan, sam, and shit- the other guy...with the long cornrows.... kevin? ....pretty sure it's kevin.... off their folding chairs on the back of the flatbed.
(just looked- it's kevin, and in the cd insert, he is one of the three who said writing poetry was a hobby, and maybe it is....or maybe someone at their record label told them they all had to put that, and only mark (who has always been my favorite, incidentally) was like, "naw, man. i ain't putting that shit. put down that i like women with self-respect, instead".)
anyway, they're now a block or two behind me, but gaining on me, which freaks me out, partially because i am awkward with people i don't know, especially no good with celebrities, and being followed still freaks me out just as much as it did in college, when i was driving on a tiny two lane "highway" (widened to four lanes right after i graduated) toward my college town at the beginning of the semester, waved to a cute guy in a truck as i passed him, and then he wound up following me all the way to my tiny college town. since random men who follow you that far (especially when the following involved cancelling a turn they were going to make), were probably dangerous, up to no good, and planning to kidnap you, even back in the late 90s, i drove not straight to my destination, but up and down random streets of maryville at high speed, even running over a bag of lawn clippings (grass EVERYWHERE), and finally winding up at my dorm, but heading not upstairs, but into the college book exchange in the basement, partially because i actually needed to pick up my books anyway. i may have looked as panicked as i felt by that point, because the guy just turned and headed out of the nearest parking lot entrance.
(it is also possible that i was a lot shorter than he thought i would be.)
anyway, i don't like being followed by strangers.
so i'm driving down the road, and i notice that the color me badd flatbed ("the flatbadd"?) is now following me, and they're closing in. i freak out, because what on earth am i going to say to these hunks who proclaimed that they wanted to sex me up in the early 90s? (well, i mean not me personally, because i was just barely into my teens, and that's assuming the album came out in the latter half of '91, but the poetry they were writing in their spare time (except for mark, the one i liked, which just figures, doesn't it? i admire his answer even more now, though- possibly even more than i admired his floppy hair back then) was obviously inspired by girls like me, but several years older.)
given my track record of saying non intelligent things to celebrities (told dave barry he was "my journalistic idol", totally blew off garrison keillor (then kicked myself years later, when i worked for an npr station that played his show on the weekends), and babbled at none other than mr. gomez addams himself BEFORE BURSTING INTO TEARS at a poe birthday celebration in baltimore), obviously i could not let them catch up or pull over to actually meet them. heaven forbid that in my starstruck shock i casually mention how "all 4 love" was one of my favorite songs for years (but at the same time i was seriously into hair bands and also dabbling heavily in alternative music), but then start humming it, but not actually it as much as just some random off key notes as they sign...i have nothing for them to sign! i mean, it's not like i carry their cd around (even though i am fairly certain it was recently in my car during a road trip), so what would they sign? a billy idol cd would be inappropriate, and i'm not the sort to just whip out a boob in lieu of something more sensible and say "anybody have a sharpie?" (plus, i'm only a b cup, so that's gonna fit maybe two signatures, max.) there are napkins in my car, but with my luck, i'll forget about the special napkin, accidentally grab it while driving down the highway, eating some fruit i just bought at a produce stand (without washing it, because i live on the edge), and the signatures would be lost in an organic, abstract, accidental rendition of "starry night" done exclusively in berry juice stains.
yet, i am a bit disappointed to note as i look in my rearview about a mile later and catch a glimpse of the flatbed slowing down and turning right into a shopping center parking lot, likely to turn around.
i briefly consider making a u turn and backtracking to go try and meet them, but the fact that i have just led them on a mid to high speed chase, coupled with the fact that not only will i have the usual baseline starstruckness, but there will likely be the shock of them not looking as they did on their cd cover 30 years later leads me to keep going straight, as i quietly beat myself up for being too chicken to meet them.
so, yeah- unusual, but totally plausible.
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