enough of this foolishness, young man!

i'm too young to have a midlife crisis, right?

i'm beginning to wonder. i mean, at my age, what exactly would a midlife crisis entail? i'm too broke for a sports car (plus i'm young and (relatively) goodlooking, so i obviously wouldn't need one to pick up a guy half my age....since that'd translate to, well, a high school freshman), and i can go to bars in little skirts and not look like i'm trying to recapture my youth (i haven't lost it yet, dammit!), so i'm really racking my brain for some sort of action that would scream "midlife crisis" at my tender young age.

as usual, my dad is to blame for this.

i was fine until about fifteen minutes ago, when i read his latest email.

it seems that not only has daddy decided to retire this year (he isn't really old enough to do that yet, is he? i mean, unless i do the math, i could swer he's only 50....), but he and my stepmother have decided to travel down to florida at the end of the month.....to look at retirement communities.

my dad is not old enough for this. i mean, aren't retirement communities sort of like bars- isn't there a minimum age to get in? surely you have to be at least 75 to live there. i shudder to think about dad and kathie meeting up with some pimply teenager in an alley somewhere and handing over 40 bucks (or whatever the going rate is) for a couple of fake ids just so they can get into the retirement community of their dreams.

i'm supposed to be the one who makes him feel old....not the other way around, dammit.

this is soooooooooo unfair.