Sunday, February 04, 2007

and now, a word from our sponsor......

.....first off, let me start by thanking whichever random coworker left a whole roll of tropical lifesavers outside the studio i'm sitting in at the moment. while i'd like to chalk it up to simple goodwill, part of me (my left knee, to be exact) suspects it was more a case of "dammit! i hit the wrong button. i wanted mentos.....don't want these to go to waste, though....."
but hey- thanks anyway. i will, however, leave the coconut lifesavers behind for someone else....blech.

i can't remember whether or not i mentioned yesterday that i'm doing the overnight babysitting thing again. (and yes, at 11pm on a sunday evening, i am actually too lazy to pull up my last post just to check. go ahead- call me a slacker.) the pay's excellent, the kids well-behaved, and the fridge nicely stocked with a variety of cheese and salsa*.

however, there is one interesting problem. (well, maybe not a problem, really. i mean, i should be flattered that a male finds me so irresistible...)

it seems that the resident dog (one of those little rat-looking dogs that jumps and squeaks a lot) is trying to court my left leg- and by "court" i mean it in the most modern sense, as in he tries to lick it once before mounting it.

i've tried telling him that my leg's not his type. i've told him he's too young for my leg. i've told him that the goldendoodle at work has already wooed my leg. this squeaky little jumping bean is unfazed by these arguements. furthermore, i've noticed that he clearly prefers my left leg to my right one, which almost makes me feel.....lopsided for some reason...especially since i always thought my right side was my good side.

so far, the romance hasn't gotten too far out of hand...err....leg. however, i'm sure that the morning after the first night i leave the bedroom door unlocked, i'm going to discover that my leg is pregnant. not only would this be upsetting, but also a bit disappointing, since i sincerely doubt the dog will feel the need to reenact that old lifesavers ad where the little boy asks the little girl to marry him and gives her a lifesaver as a ring. then again, in this case, i suppose i'd have to demand a lifesaver anklet.

*and some other stuff, but i'm just dealing with the necessities here.

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