....and the no good, very bad day

i just woke up from a very brief nap to pins and needles in my left arm (due to a poorly placed kitten) and mildly distressing news regarding my favorite job (you know- the one i actually got a degree for).

i have already decided i'll be purchasing a powerball ticket later, as surely my luck will turn around and balance itself out. 

also, tacos tonight are pretty much a given. tacos make everything better.

hour later addendum: since we last spoke (okay- make that "since i last whined"), i accidentally squirted delightfully aromatic tuna juice all over a fresh pair of jammies while opening what i decided (partway through consumption) may have been a dodgy can. (it wasn't bulging, but tastes a hair off. guess we'll find out what that means in a few hours.)

also, i sustained a minor injury while handling a banana.

yes, you read that last part correctly. 
second addendum, six hours after the previous one (yes, my "lucky" streak continued):

i am pleased to report the tuna has not yet made me regret freeing it from its tiny steel confines earlier and my morning errands were completed mostly without incident (it would have been nice if target had not been completely out of the one thing i needed most- kitty litter). however, on the way to job #3 i stopped at the gas station in an attempt to get the angry little light on my dash to turn off and wound up in a line that was ridiculously long because the other cashier was busy waving around some little remote to adjust the prices at the pumps. you guessed it- the price went up while i was standing in line, waiting to prepay. then, my pump didn't want to give me a discount for paying cash, so i had to return to the cashier four times to get it straightened out before pumping.

while pumping gas, i noticed that the new tire i bought a month ago looked awfully low. i thought about getting it checked out, but the way my luck was running....better leave that task for another day.

a little while later, whilst grabbing recycling from the trunk of my car after leaving job #3, i stood up and whacked my head into the trunk lid. i was on the phone at the time, and after i explained the sudden inspiration behind some rather colorful language, this was the response:

"go directly to taco bell. do not pass go. do not collect $200."

thankfully, i'd already scrapped my plan to go rollerblading at the canal. there's no need to risk near-certain (the way things are going) injury a few days before the princess half marathon.
i sincerely hope this is just a case of "monday, one day late", due to yesterday being a holiday.

how may i assist you?

when i find myself biting my tongue at work, it's usually because i'm dealing with a customer of the water department who's distressed because their water has been turned off for nonpayment and the city didn't show up on the day they finally paid to turn it back on. (inevitably, they have their grandmother and at least three children in the home, and every one needs a bath or to flush the toilet or something.)

i have a terrible time resisting the urge to point out that such a crisis could be averted simply by paying the bill on time, but somehow i do.

i had a call this morning that tested me for a slightly different reason.

we also answer for several mental health facilities and practices, and a woman called in the wee hours of the morning to seek assistance from the office. she said her issue "wasn't really an emergency", but she was still quite upset, so i asked what was going on, in an effort to determine whether or not she actually needed to speak with a counselor.

without using the derogatory term she uttered (unless she was using an old term for a cigarette), this woman's issue was that she wanted assistance finding a place to live simply because she met her new male neighbor, who happened to have dating preferences that were alarmingly similar to her own. 

it was all i could do to keep from pointing out that she clearly needed mental health assistance. somehow, i was able to very politely suggest that perhaps the office had the right resources to help her out if she called back when they were open. 

the hothouse flowers vs. old man winter

the cold does strange things to people- especially when they aren't used to it.

first, let me preface this post by saying that, of the five states i've lived in, this is the only one that hasn't had snow by now. i understand that the natives aren't used to things falling from the sky. (in fact, it's a lesson i learned not long after i first moved here 13 1/2 years ago. i was amazed by how many folks seemed to go catatonic behind the wheel when anything- even rain- fell out of the sky.)

the first strange call came last night, and i'm going to shamelessly copy and paste what i posted to facebook:

i just fielded a call from a woman at a housing development who was distressed because her heater was broken. since the development is picky about what constitutes an emergency (especially at 3am), i asked her what the temperature was inside her home.

"80 degrees"

"okay, ma'am. is your thermostat set at 80 degrees, or is the temperature in your home right now 80 degrees?"

"the thermostat is set for 80 degrees, and it says it's 80 degrees in here, but it feels cold and i have small children. my heat only comes on for a minute, and then it shuts itself off. how long will it take for someone to come fix it?"

i explained to her that this was not something the office would consider an emergency, but i'd sent a message to the office and ask them to give her a call in the morning.

"they won't fix it tonight? will they at least give us another place to stay?"

wow. just....wow.

i thought maybe this was an isolated incident. however, it appears i was horribly mistaken.

when i covered at the radio station earlier, one of the main topics of conversation was the weather. it does not get very cold in south carolina (especially in the central and southern parts of the state) often, and the predicted overnight low of 19 degrees had everyone in a tizzy.

before coming into work this evening, i briefly wondered aloud if there would be any more strange calls regarding heating issues.

two hours into my shift, i've already had a call from a gentleman who was disappointed that it was only 75 degrees in his apartment (he had the thermostat cranked to 80), as well as a lady who was distraught because it was "only" 78 degrees in her residence. the former also made a point to emphasize that his unit was running constantly, which concerned him because it was "probably bad for the environment". (it was all i could do to refrain from pointing out that if he were really that concerned about being "environmentally friendly", perhaps he should throw on a sweater and turn the thermostat down to 68 or less.)

before the night is through, i fully anticipate getting at least two more calls of this nature. if my caffeine lets me down, i'm afraid i might slip and actually use the phrase "suck it up, buttercup" sometime before heading home to my comfortably 65-degree domicile.

flying high again

it hasn't happened in quite some time, but that's partially because this is my first time leaving town in three months. 

it's also the first time in a long time that i've had a lengthy layover in an airport with free wi-fi.

yes, dear reader- i'm blogging while on the move.

during my four and a half hour flight from charlotte, nc, to salt lake city, i found myself inspired by both my recent jog through the charlotte-douglas airport and the infant screaming just over my left shoulder.

before i get to my list, i feel the need to share this link. i cannot agree more with the oatmeal regarding the placement of screaming children on planes. (it's not that i don't love children. heck, i plan on having at least a couple of my own one of these days. that said, i do not love little ones screaming within close proximity for over a third of a long flight- especially when i had to get up on the wrong side of dawn to catch said flight and was really looking forward to taking a nap.)

all right.....the list:

five things i always take on airplanes

     1. running shoes (on my feet)

          ....because it is inevitable that, at some point during my travels, i will wind up sprinting across at least two concourses, because:

          1a. a half hour layover seemed doable back when i was trying to save $100 on my plane tickets

          1b. the speed limit along the highway between home and the airport was being enforced a wee bit more strictly than usual

          1c. yet again, i wound up stuck in the security line behind some poor soul who has apparently never flown before and therefore feels the need to put each of their worldly possessions in a separate bin

     2. carry ons

          .....because i'm too cheap to buy my worldly possessions their own seat on the plane and, besides, if i can't fit everything i need for less than a week into two bags, clearly i need to reevaluate my choices in footwear (and, most likely) reading material. 

     3. my ipod

          ....because it can't drown out the screaming child in the next row completely, but maybe i can mask his/her caterwauling with that of the lead singers of random hair bands of the 80s.

     4. one of my sigg water bottles

          .....because most airlines now give you maybe a shot and a half of soda, once you subtract the ice from the cup.

     5. my camera

         .....because if i ever look out from my window seat and see superman on the wing, i am so taking a picture. 

lost in translation

so there i was, minding my own business at the gas station, when the driver one pump over asked me what my shirt meant. had i been wearing my icelandic shirt, i totally would have gotten it. however, this one has a pretty common, easily recognized word on it, so his request threw me off a little.

i translated it for him and, as a bonus, i also mentioned that the back said "adios", meaning "goodbye". 

i finished pumping $30 worth of gas into my car and headed to work, where i related the story to a coworker. said coworker pointed out that the guy probably asked about the shirt in the hopes that i'd turn around and show him what was on the back. 

*

though i generally consider myself to be pretty intelligent, sometimes i'm really quite slow. :~/

*when i asked my coworker to take a photo of the shirt, i didn't expect to wind up with, like, three of the front, and twenty of the back.

in which i run for maximum color, not minimum time

i may be permanently blue.

well, actually, i know from experience that it'll wash/wear off eventually- it always does. 

what you see above is the aftermath of the color me rad 5k, which took place this morning in columbia, sc. 

the blue will come off eventually, just as it did after the color run last march,

and the green and red did after the bubble run last may,

and all of this somehow came off after the neon splash dash last may, as well.

(i'm not saying there wasn't some serious scrubbing involved. in fact, just thinking about it makes me want to haul out the body scrub and a loofah.)

that's the thing about fun runs. they're not really for the sort of person who doesn't like getting a little messy.

fortunately, i've never been that sort of girl. mud? bring it on! colored powder (and possibly colored water, to boot)? sign me up! i'm perfectly willing to get dirty for a good cause, too.

what would be ideal, of course, is if at least one of the above could be followed by this. 

if, for some reason, the color from color me rad is permanent, i guess i'll have to switch my halloween costume this year from "genie" to "smurf". thankfully, i've got a few weeks and a whole lot of body scrub i can use between now and then. 

a hairy situation

due to poor planning on my part, i had to stop at a gas station this morning between leaving work and heading to the canal for my daily run. 

while waiting in line behind a guy who couldn't decide whether or not a cup of the "caffeine blast" coffee would be as powerful as an espresso, the longhaired male cashier (vaguely resembling mike tramp, lead singer of white lion, circa 1988) said, "hello there, beautiful*. i want to take my time with you."**

after i left, i kicked myself for not asking the obvious. (i mean, he wasn't horribly unattractive.)

perhaps next time i'll work up the nerve.......to ask him to recommend a good detangler.



*did i mention i was heading to work out? we're talking about yoga pants, a t shirt, my favorite hoodie, and the five new zits that sprung up last night. i'm not sure whether i should be genuinely flattered, or if i should assume he thought i was an off duty stripper from across the street he thought he could score a free lapdance from with a well-placed compliment. 

**twice....but hey- maybe he'd been gulping down the "caffeine blast" this morning. 

the most wonderful time of the year....no, really.

i know the song says the winter holidays are "the most wonderful time of the year", but i beg to differ.

here in columbia, south carolina, mid-september brings the annual greek festival. how can the combination of gyros, 

(this is the shortest i have ever seen this line.)

greek fries, 

homemade pastries,

(the place was so packed that this was the closest i could get today.)

reasonably priced dinner combos,

vendors, 

and festival souvenirs

(on a gorgeous weekend, no less)

not sway you just a little in favor of the festival?

i've already worked out once today, in an effort to pre-burn the calories i consumed in my fries and gyro. there may have to be another round of each (exercise, gyro/fries) later. after all, the festival only happens once a year.