Sunday, June 08, 2014

(you should be) sorry for party knockin (on the wrong door)

dear hard-partying neighbors,

the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of that music you're playing from the killer sound system installed in the white sedan* you've parked on the grass between our building and the next for maximum echo has inspired the most interesting dreams this evening. (i've long hoped for one involving jason statham in a nightclub......not so much.) best of luck getting that battery to work in time to move your chariot off the grass before you get ticketed. since i saw someone finally get nailed for taking the handicapped spot the other day (YES!!!!), i look forward to hearing about a fine that'll put a dent in your next hot dog budget.

however, the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa on my door of confused partygoers who realized after practically knocking the thing down that they had the wrong floor (twice) or building (once- does this mean this is an apartment complex equivalent of a block party?) is something i could have done without. next time, please only invite folks literate enough to decipher the address, or intelligent enough to know that their best bet is simply to walk up to one of the folks twerking with a burger in their hand. (i mean, really, isn't that a pretty obvious sign of a party, mental illness, or both?) thanks!

your neighbor who's trying to have a one person, two cat pajama party before work

p.s.- how much weed are you people smoking down there? my apartment is beginning to smell like the set of the next cheech and chong movie.

*sadly, it is too dark for me to take a photo, so i'll do my best to do your hoopty/rolling sound system justice:

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