Wednesday, February 04, 2009

but seriously......

the braces are about to come off after 4 1/2 years (what can i say? i haven't exactly been in a hurry), and tomorrow's my first visit with a periodontist to figure out if i'm getting an implant next, or if i'll wind up the proud owner of a maryland bridge.

unfortunately, i am having a rather hard time with a mundane task- filling out the preliminary questionnaire.

normally, these things are so general and boring that i have no problem regurgitating the usual stock answers.

unfortunately, I was unable to stop myself from answering "spouse's name" with "i am way too young for that"....though i am pleased to report that i refrained from putting down my first response, which was "first, i've got to convince val kilmer to return my calls".

somehow, not only my name is listed after "person responsible for account", but also "(unless i have a rich uncle no one has told me about)"

(they brought it upon themselves, giving me a blank line that stretched all the way across the page. it's like pointing keith haring at a blank wall in a subway and then leaving him there with an unattended can of paint.)

thus far, i have not answered "have you ever been instructed in caring for your gums?" with "i skipped the day we covered that in class", though "only in heavy traffic" has mysteriously appeared next to "do you habitually clench your teeth during the day or night?" and i had to explain that i checked "yes" next to "do you have to go to the restroom more than six times each day?", because i don't really keep count, but if i'm on a green tea kick, i'm wearing tracks in the carpet by 2 am. (i think that's why they say it boosts metabolism- look at all that extra exercise!)

if this guy dosn't have a sense of humor, i may be meeting with my hunky orthodontist's second recommendation next week.......

8 comments:

Bobby said...

In a rebellious attempt to stake my own individuality, after being forced to wear braces, I snuck ,y retainer off after i told my parents good night.

The one and only time my parents agreed and were right about something, as i now need braces again.

life sux.

Callie said...

I certainly hope you post pics after you get your braces off!!!

I'm sure the office staff have a sense of humor. Only thing is - you never know who has it the day you turn in your paperwork . . .

:-D

just some dude said...

No braces?! How the hell will I recognize you?

Kristi said...

4 yrs! me too. only it was some time ago

It wil be fine i am sure. just keep t the retainer or as Bobby said, you will need the braces again.



I was a rebel too.........

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Callie said...

Hey Duff -

you're getting over-run with spam comments!!!!

When are we going to see pics of you without the braces????

duff said...

egads! i don't touch the blog for the while and i get offers to see natasha naked? i suppose i should point out that i'm not into chicks.....and that i have not fallen off the face of the earth- just went on vacation and have been trying to get caught back up ever since. braces are still on for awhile, and implant:stage one happens right after tax day. come to think of it, perhaps i should patrol random blogs, offering to get naked for $19.95. gotta fund next week somehow......

Callie said...

I'm sure you'd get a few takers on that proposition.

Good luck with the orthodontist!