will dig in couch cushions for food

as you've probably heard, the latest mc donald's ad campaign is geared towards the frugal- the "dollar menunaires". i know this because:

1. contrary to popular belief, i am not a total hermit and

2. when i got to the radio station yesterday morning (well, not right after i got to work, as i'm not really fully functioning until a couple of hours into the 6-noon shift), i was asked to record a commercial celebrating dollar menunaires.

is it bad that i actually nodded my head while reading:

"do you switch your car into neutral and coast down hills to save gas?" (seems like a sensible thing to do when a gallon of gas costs the equivalent of a double cheeseburger, small fry, and side salad, don't you think?)

"do you steam the wrinkles out of your clothing by hanging them in the shower?" (what's wrong with that? am i the only person in america who is too lazy to iron?* i think not.)

somehow, i managed to take dollar menunaireness (i'm trying to legalize that word so i can use it in scrabble. if anyone has connections to the fine folks over at webster's.....i mean, "bootylicious" made it in, after all. if beyonce can have a word, so should i....and i'm not just saying that because i'm hoping the mc donald's bigwigs will show their appreciation by giving me more stock.) to a whole new level today- not only was i a dollar menunaire on my way back to work, but i had to nickel and dime (technically, quarter) it, to boot.

as i sat at the drive thru window, waiting for the highly paid burger slinger to count my considerable coinage, i harkened back to the good ol' "poor college student" days, when i could get a week's worth of meals at hyvee for ten bucks (pasta and lettuce figured prominently), and still have enough left over to celebrate taco tuesday at taco john's on the way home.

since it took a while for the girl to count three dollars and thirty cents' worth of quarters and nickels, i also had time to ponder the time one of my equally broke roommates had to empty out her large coin jar to pay the bills. i can't remember exactly which errand i'd accompanied her on, but i vividly recall her plunking down a bag of coins on the counter, along with the stub from her bill.

i can honestly say i've never had to go that far, although that's mostly because i roll my coins, rather than carry them around in large ziplocs.

which gives me an idea: perhaps next week, to save whichever higly paid mc donald's employee happens to be working the money window at roughly two o'clock on sunday undue duress, maybe i should just go ahead and splurge, order a couple of apple pies and a large fry to go with my usual double cheeseburger and side salad, and simply hand over a roll of dimes as payment....but only if i manage to coast down enough hills this week to save a gallon and a half of gas.

*actually, i should clarify. it's not just that i'm too lazy- i also get frustrated too easily. i once threw a shirt out the window because every time i finished ironing one side of it, i'd flip it over and realize that i'd somehow ironed new wrinkles into the other side. since then, if it needs to be ironed, it's not coming home from the store with me.