Wednesday, January 27, 2016

all i want (is a couple of days off)

maybe it's due to the recent full moon, but some of my calls this past week have been downright strange. i am really looking forward to having the next couple of nights off from job #1 so i will no longer have to discuss anyone's bowels (was this "national colonoscopy week" and i missed it?)*, try to get across to a person who has me on speakerphone that if they took me off speakerphone while driving with the window down i might actually be able to hear them and not keep asking them to repeat everything, or bite my tongue when patients call in to demand z packs for their colds.

i will devote five minutes of my time off to pondering how my parents were able to successfully raise me without calling the doctor in the middle of the night to ask what to give me for my boogers and cough. (do they no longer make triaminic? the orange kind was actually pretty good.) i will also take a minute to contemplate how a grown, native english speaker did not know the word "affiliate". (this was roughly the amount of time it took me to explain the meaning to them.)

aside from those six minutes, i plan on doing absolutely nothing related to this particular job. it would take away from my other jobs (and, more importantly, the enjoyment of the company of others in a non work-related setting), and that would be just poopy.

*somewhat related: i do not ever, ever, ever, ever want to hear the phrase "go poopy" again. i do not want to hear it when i get around to having kids, and i most certainly do not want to hear it from a gentleman who is probably old enough to be my grandpa. never again.

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