Wednesday, March 05, 2014

the best medicine?

"good morning. thank you for calling (random medical practice). how may i help you?"

(little old lady) "i'd like to order "islands in the stream" and "you are so beautiful"."

(pause) "uh, well, ma'am. i'm afraid you've reached a medical practice. i'm not sure we can help you with that."

"well, i called 1-800 (other numbers that do not spell "sir-mix-a-lot"*), and that's how i found you."

the first two times, i informed her that i was sorry, but it appeared she may have misdialed. the third time, however, i decided that i'd help her out since it was 3 in the morning, calls were slow, and she was really intent on getting her fix of kenny rogers/dolly parton and joe cocker. 

as it turned out, she was attempting to order a 9 disc collection from time life, which isn't really affiliated with "time" or "life" magazines, but some company called "starvista entertainment". i pulled up their website and gave her the customer service number, but she still found her way back to me. i asked if she had internet access. she said "no". i told her they had a little form i could fill out for her so they could contact her in the morning. unfortunately, she didn't have a phone available, aside from the one she was using in her hospital room. 

yes, really. this little old lady was trying to buy an epic 9-disc set of love songs* she saw on late night tv while laid up in the hospital. 

*of course i checked

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