Saturday, April 06, 2013

is that christ on my cracker?

i'd originally planned on writing about my ultra-smooth moves today, and i still intend to do so at some point this weekend, but whilst browsing through yahoo's headlines i came upon this article

(while you read it, excuse me for a moment while i go retrieve a small snack.)

ok. i'm back. done reading yet?

so, here's the question that comes to my mind, and i figure there's a good chance it popped into yours, too:

how is this even possible? 

now, please don't think i mean for this to lead to a lengthy discussion of whether or not divine spirits try to express themselves through cooking. in fact, i try to avoid almost all conversations pertaining to religion and politics, due to the fact that they usually end with some degree of animosity. 

no, dear reader. i'm trying to work out how someone can actually allow goldfish to sit around long enough that they notice whether or not there might be unusual markings on them. 

i don't know about you, but whether i'm eating them by the handful or scooping them out of my soup, i don't normally stare at my goldfish. (part of this may be attributed to the fact that i can't stand having my food look at me while i'm eating it- it makes me feel like some sort of horrible predator.) 

perhaps if she ate the "xtreme cheddar" variety, she too would find them so irresistably tasty that she would be unable to fight the urge to hoover them down without a second thought regarding unusual markings or, really, much of anything else. 

then again, given the apparent prevalence of food with unusual markings, maybe i should slow down, a little, too. i mean, for all i know, jim morrison could be lurking in this container of ben & jerry's karamel sutra. 

despite my deep, abiding love of that particular flavor, if i find a face in my last pint, you can bet your bippy i'll sell it off to the highest bidder. i mean, this sort of....dare i call it a phenomenon?...can bring in big bucks. 

i just hope he appears toward the bottom of the container.


Ren said...

Mmmmmm... Crackers. (No pun intended.)

duff said...

i thought about replacing my ben and jerry's with pistachios, but i would've had a really hard time not making comments involving nuts.