Sunday, August 10, 2008

newsflash: exercise may be fatal...oh- and the new kids are back

things i should probably be embarrassed to admit:

1. even at the tender age of thirty, i still eat all of my spaghetti o's first, and the meatballs or franks last- and preferably with my official spaghetti o's spoon.

2. i sleep with a fleece cookie monster blanket.

3. i have seriously contemplated going to see the new kids on the block when they come to a town near me. (perhaps this is partially because i still feel a little bit empty 16 years after they played in baltimore on my birthday...and i didn't get to go, because we moved to kansas city one week prior.)

3a. i still have both my jordan knight and pepsi magic summer t shirts, and i'm only mildly afraid to wear them.

i seem to be stuck on "summertime" by the new kids, (now short for "(not so) new(ly fully grown men with) kids"), and there's no end in sight. thankfully, it's in rotation in my mental jukebox with kid rock's latest and a rather infectious little tune by (stay with me here) miley cyrus' half-brother's band. (i'm sure he really digs being known as his little sister's brother... but the chances of trace cyrus stumbling upon my blog are- let's face it- slim. i'll apologize if necessary later.)

it's the sort of song that makes me want to hop on the treadmill, which may be a necessity now that i'm thirty and apparently since i'm not married (which the spammers have figured out, given that i now get daily junk mail with the subject line "over 30 and single? better click this link to find out what sort of men you can still attract...unless you're too busy picking up your first ten cats at the animal shelter, that is....."*) i should hurry up and get into shape so that when things start to droop (like my kneecaps) they won't go far. i mean, who wants a chick with droopy kneecaps? i like older men and all, but i don't want to raid retirement homes for a potential suitor who's too blind/senile to notice that i'm no longer the hot babe i was at 29....less than a month ago.

so, to the treadmill i shall go...or should, except for today's little news tidbit. it seems that hopping on the treadmill may be fatal....and that's not even taking into account the fact that i am a natural klutz and therefore am even more susceptible to a treadmill mishap than most.

perhaps my energies would be better spent rooting around in my closet, trying to locate some appropriately ripped jeans to go with that magic summer t shirt.....

*i'll admit it. perhaps i'm embellishing a little bit...but not by much.


The Rover said...

Not a damn thing in the world wrong with your kneecaps. Enjoy them, youngun'.

Bite Me said...

You still have fine uhm, err, uhh, mosquito bites. ;-)

Larry said...

Actually, Trace was just commenting about this weird, Cookie Monster fleece toting, older woman online that unintentionally dissed him. I had to sheepisly admit that I "knew" you. Thanks for yet another awkward moment with a semi-slightly-almost-famous-half-sibling.

And, one more thing. If you don't get those droopy kneecaps fixed, I'll have to stop admitting that I "know" you altogether. Get it together Grandma!

Ren said...

Wait, you lived near Baltimore? Did I tell you that I've moved to Towson to be closer to the State Health Department? Yeah... Not at all like little-old Waynesboro, PA. Not. At. All. Then again, I went to school in DC, so it's not a big change.

But enough about me... YOU'RE 30?!

Don't tell my girlfriend that I wrote this, but you look good for 30 (read, "I'd tap that"). :-p

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you made a blog, I don't message or email much (I'm a lousy pen-pal) but when I see on my subscriptions on Myspace that you've posted something new, I always check it out. You've got a great writing style, always full of witty humor and entertaining, so I'll bookmark this and try to leave a couple comments. In middle school I had NKOTB posters and textbook covers, but my heart throb was Joey. It's good to see I'm not the only one who will admit to liking the New Kids at one point in time, but kudos to you for admitting it on the internet. If I bump into Trace Cyrus I will provide him with the url for your blog, and careful on that treadmill! - Laura (eldest first cousin)

duff said...

rover: i'm just glad they're small enough that, with luck, plastic surgery will never be required to aid the fight against gravity.

bite me: perhap i'm just really good with photoshop ;)

larry: crap- sorry about that. i'll try to spare you similar discofort by never stating my opinion on the julian lennon/sean and yoko debate.

ren: dude- you knew i grew up near baltimore. perhaps you simply forgot while too busy (apparently) checking this geezer out.

laura: textbook covers? we weren't allowed to go that far, though i do recall having new kids stickers. unfortunately, they weren't the most popular at my school, which added even further ridicule to my already beyond-awkward tween years.

i always liked jordan, and my sibling was a jonathan kind of girl. i doubt she still has her shirts, though........