Saturday, May 31, 2008

coming out of the closet

as i fired up the email this morning, i learned that i may have been onto something in my younger years.

(lest my parents think they finally have a "reasonable" explanation for some of the creative clothing combinations i wore in public in my awkward preteen years, let me point out that i said "onto something", not "on something". therefore, that mystery remains unsolved, as far as they're concerned.)

anyway, several times during my childhood in baltimore (generally during summers, when i didn't have much to do, as i recall), i hauled everything out of my closet, dragged in a pillow, a blanket or two, a flashlight, and several books. while i don't recall ever actually spending the night in my closet (are you kidding? i couldn't sleep with the closet open until i moved to south carolina- because of the monsters, of course), several afternoons were spent hanging out in there, reading and rearranging the blankets.

anyway, i share this testament to my incredibly active social life during my younger years because it seems i'm not the only one who's set up camp in a closet.

however, unlike today's newsmaker, i used my own closet as my hideout.

after reading the article, i was left with several questions:

~was the top shelf of the closet somehow reinforced? i mean, obviously, the woman wasn't exactly a 300-pounder, but still- i don't think the top of my closet could support my weight- especially for the better part of a year.

~when did she take her showers? did he not notice the extra towel on the bar in the bathroom? the condensation on the shower door? what about weekends, when he was home from work? or are we going to go with the stereotype regarding the workaholism of the japanese?

~am i the only one who immediately thought of lazlo hollyfeld while reading this article?

~while she was in his closet, did she take it upon herself to sort through his apparel and weed out some of his oh-so-stylish pieces, like the orange plaid polyester blazer, the tye-dyed hemp hoodie, and the heeled boots, a la prince?

which reminds me, perhaps when i get home tonight, it'll be time for a little closet-weeding of my own. after all, i need somewhere to hang the hammock.

3 comments:

Callie said...

I heard about that on my way home from work last week. Too weird.

I'm thinking she was just a really small person, and he was just incredibly stupid.

mr_g said...

well, at least I have a way to make some extra money....rent my closet to a Japanese exchange student!

duff said...

callie: really small- like lilliputian, perhaps.

mr_g: finst, you'll have to get rid of the bunny slipper collection to make adequate room for her/him. :)