i am what i am...or what you want me to be

okay, back to my mission to get in touch with myself.......i'm sure you've googled yourself, but have you checked out what google really thinks of you? i found this on jurgen nation.

my results? well, if you're really interested, here's an abridged list:

*duff is under pressure to what? under pressure to what???
*duff is the real thing like coke classic?
*duff is the real thin i may have lost a pound or two lately- thanks for noticing.
*duff is online yes i am...unless i'm at work. please leave a message at the beep....
*duff is close to signing a new contract with blackburn how many zeros are we talking about here?
*duff is desirable because the litter is usually much less dense than the duff i know googlism did not just call me dense.
*duff is a supporter of the effort to restore the bird island lighthouse sure- wherever that is.
*duff is group leader of numerical analysis in the computational science and engineering department crap- would i have needed to pass statistics in college for that?
*duff is tackled by liverpool's jamie carragher only because i let him (hope he's cute)
*duff is ready to make trouble always
*duff is happy to have three new members let's see- i pick you...and you...and you
*duff is a musical instrument similar to a tambourine so you have to hit and shake me to play me? i think i'll pass.
*duff is single and he's taken up astrology in hopes of increasing his chances of finding a wife errr...no.
*duff is anne marie / theresa *checking birth certificate* sorry- not even close.
*duff is one of irelands leading architectural companies so we'll move the blarney stone about 50 feet, then?
*duff is known as a "players coach" sure- what am i coaching?
*duff is overpriced nah- i'm worth every penny
*duff is up to lately? find that out what am i up to? 5'2", if i stretch.
*duff is springfield's leading brand in beer it took this many results to get a simpsons reference? jeez.
*duff is a widely published author i didn't think i was there yet, but if google says so, who am i to disagree?
*duff is a native of the texas gulf coast and spent time as a child attending school and playing with children from the nearby alabama uh, not quite. i was born in colorado.....and have been to alabama a grand total of three times.
*duff is a bed and breakfast with ambiance that invites you to relax and enjoy genuine "down under" hospitality whoa- what kind of hospitality am i providing here?
*duff is more amusing than elmore leonard well, thank you.
*duff is founder and ceo of bold ventures group does this mean i can stop working weekends?
*duff is poised to move from blackburn rovers to either liverpool or manchester and i'm moving the blarney stone....because you said i could.
*duff is not for sale everyone has their price- mine just happens to be out of your budget.
*duff is completely consumed by work
*duff is not there either as you can see maybe you can't- i am short, after all.
*duff is worth more yes- yes, i am.
*duff is a mother and the editorial page editor at the coloradoan no and no
*duff is one of nine defencemen the rangers have signed for the upcoming season is it a high dollar contract? if so, maybe i should take up the sport (whatever sport we happen to be talking about here.
*duff is from sonoran desert of the southwest no, but i've been there.
*duff is burned when the moisture content of the upper duff is below 30 percent note to self: keep moisture content above 30%
*duff is busy in the studio recording with a talented vocalist this is old- the vocalist in question was sinatra
*duff is the inspirational leader of the university of michigan women's gymnastics team this alter ego sounds pretty cool
*duff is the oskar klein professor of physics and director of the michigan center for theoretical physics at the university of michigan in ann arbor i'm teaching psychics? oh- physics? isn't that a complex science? it is? can i get a tutor, perhaps?
*duff is to work on a document on the status of the charter of fundamental rights of the eu you have the right to remain silent. anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.... not those rights? oh. sorry.
*duff is remarkable for the energy and determination with which he has pursued a difficult and thorny path hmmm...i seem to have had a sex change no one bothered to tell me about.
*duff is supported by voluntary contributions from fans all over the world sweet! when can i expect the first checks to roll in?
*duff is another indication of a superior intellect e=mc2
*duff is a chief flight surgeon sure- as long as i don't have to see any blood
*duff is a seasoned professional with ten years experience a professional pain in the butt? i'm your huckleberry.
*duff is close to signing a new contract with the ewood park club another high-dollar deal, i hope.
*duff is a former standout at glen este high school and a sophomore golfer at kent state university only if those little windmills are involved
*duff is taking a different boat around new zealand than ireland anyone care to join me?
*duff is pumice not quite, but that reminds me- i could use a pedicure.
*duff is quick with a laugh aha! they finally found me!
*duff is our fave actress thanks *blushing*
*duff is a managing partner in the law firm of baker donelson in washington "managing partner"? that must mean i'm rich.

my favorite part? the "duff is overpriced"/"duff is worth more" contradiction.